Stop, Rewind
by Damn you Kylie
Summary: What happens when Tobias is woken from a nightmare after Tris' death only to find himself in his old Abnegation bedroom? How did he get here? Who can he trust? Is there a chance to save the people he thought he had lost? Disclaimer: I do not own the Divergent Series
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE**

 **TOBIAS POV** (Directly after chapter fifty four in allegiant)

I don't know how long I have stayed on the floor. My whole body feels numb and

disconnected. I slowly rise to my feet, I bend over and plant a kiss on Tris' forehead and I

walk out of the room.

As I open the door I see Christina crouching along the wall with red bloodshot eyes. I think

she calls my name but I can't be sure. I feel as though someone has put my brain into a

bubble and I'm processing everything in slow motion. As I walk down the corridor it is like

the rest of the world is still moving at normal speed. I don't understand why they aren't in

the same world of hurt that I am in. But how can they be? They don't know her like I do,

they don't love her the way I do.

I can feel the tears starting to stream down my cheeks as I walk into the room that we

have been sharing with our friends whilst at the bureau. I don't know where I'm walking

but my feet seem to be taking me there anyway. I walk out of the dormitory down the

hallway and through the door to the room we spent our last night together.

I walk over to the couch barely able to see through the tears now. As I lay down on the

couch I can smell Tris and that is when the sobbing starts. I haven't cried since I was little,

definitely not since my mother died. this is not like crying at all, my whole body is shaking

and I feel like I can't breathe, my sobs feel as though they are engulfing my whole body.

I hug one of the cushions to my body trying to breathe in Tris's scent as I rock from side to

side calling her name. Time seems to be standing still. I feel someone shaking my shoulder

and calling my name. If I ignore them I'm hoping they will just let me be. Then I realise

it's Marcus I can hear, this makes no sense to me at all, how can he be here? It feels like

forever that he continues to shake my shoulder and call my name. There is no way that I

am going to acknowledge him, not now, hopefully never again.

I must have dosed off, I can still feel and hear my sobs and I'm still calling her name but now

there is someone else shaking my shoulder and calling my name. It is so much gentler

than when Marcus had done it. The female voice sounds familiar, it's sounds so similar

to Tris. But it can't be Tris can it? I just want to keep my eyes closed and keep listening

to the voice calling my name, it is haunting and comforting all at the same time. If I just

stay here long enough maybe I'll wake up and it really will be Tris waking me up and this

nightmare will be over.

"Tobias you have to wake up, please wake up for me", she is saying to me. I slowly open

my eyes and gasp, I can't believe what I am seeing. I sit up and wrap my arms around

her and say, "Ï can't believe you're alive."


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 1**

 **NATALIE POV**

Andrew rises from his chair in our family room and turns to me and says "I'm going to turn in early Natalie, tomorrow is going to be a long day".

Tomorrow is the Choosing Ceremony, the day when our sixteen year olds get to choose which faction they wish to belong to. The Ceremony takes hours and then we have to bring the Abnegation initiates back to our faction and settle them in. Because Andrew is an important member of the council we will need to be on hand to help. Abnegation doesn't usually get many transfers, if any at all but we still need to be prepared.

"I will be up in a moment, I just want to finish this row", I reply, as I continue to knit the blanket I am making to give to the factionless. Just as I put the knitting needles down there is loud frantic knocking on our front door.

Andrew looks at me with a look that tells me that this is going to be a long night. Almost every year since Andrew has been on the council we can be guaranteed of someone knocking on our door the night before the Choosing Ceremony. Usually it is someone worried that their child will choose a different faction, occasionally a parent who thinks their child may be divergent and how can they hide them. But on the rare occasion we have had the frantic knocking we have now, and we know that someone has broken the rules to try and stop their childs divergents from being detected in the aptitude test.

Andrew quickly opens the front door, hoping the loud bangs haven't woken our children or even the people in the houses around ours. We both let out a gasp at the same time, as the person standing on our doorstep is the last person we thought we would be seeing tonight.

Marcus Eaton the leader of Abnegation is standing on our doorstep. Andrew moves out of the way to let him in. I don't think I have ever seen Marcus look the way he does right now, not even when Evelyn died. He is breathless like he has been running for an extended period of time, although his house is only a short distance from our home.

Marcus starts to say in between panting, "its Tobias I can't wake him, there is something wrong". With this I look at Andrew who nods his head and I run out the front door towards the Eaton home. I can hear Andrew say to Marcus, "just calm yourself Marcus, Natalie knows what to do".

I'm running towards the Eaton residence and it dawns on me that I haven't seen Tobias for years, maybe a glimpse of him returning home from school but never any interactions with him since his mother's funeral. I don't even remember speaking to the boy even at the funeral, the poor child just stood in a corner as far from people as he could get.

I enter the Eaton home and start to walk up the stairs to where I know the bedrooms will be. Just as they are in every Abnegation home. As I step onto the first step I can already hear the sobs coming from his bedroom. Whatever he has seen must be extremely traumatic for him.

I enter Tobias' room and my heart is breaking. There is Tobias curled up into the foetal position holding his pillow and rocking back and forth. He is sobbing and calling out the name Tris. I sit down on the side of the bed and gently shake his arm. "Tobias you have to wake up, please wake up for me", I say to him. "Tobias you have to wake up, please wake up for me", I say to him again, this time shaking him a little harder. His eyes slowly open and he looks at me with shock in his eyes and he launches himself at me, wrapping his arms around me and saying, "Ï can't believe you're alive."

This is definitely going to be a long night I think to myself.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 2**

 **NATALIE POV**

I put my arms around Tobias and start to rock slowly as you would if you had a crying baby in your arms. In a soothing tone I gently say, "it's only a bad dream, nobody is dead. You're okay, everything is going to be alright".

"Tris is dead, she's dead. What am I going to do? How am I supposed to live without her?' Tobias asks desperately between sobs. I don't think I've ever seen someone look so broken. I continue to rock Tobias back and forth and as I do his shirt creeps up his back. He is wincing as I hold him and I look down to see huge welts along his back. There seems to be scarring and new red raw welts along his whole back. I can't believe what I am seeing, I let out a small gasp and I can feel the bile rising in my throat. What has Marcus done to this poor boy?

My gasp seems to have shocked Tobias. He has stopped crying, he looks directly into my eyes and then bows his head down and moves away from me pushing his shirt down to cover his back.

"Tobias I need you to listen very carefully to me, I need you to tell me everything that has happened in this house today. I need you to be completely honest with me, it is the only way I am going to be able to help you", I say this in the most calming quite voice I can muster. "I also need you to tell me what you saw in your dream, ok?"

Tobias doesn't look up he just slowly nods his head, although the sobbing has stopped there are still tears slowly falling down his face. He grabs the pillow he had been holding before and squeezes it tightly to his body, like a child would their favourite teddy after a bad dream.

 **TOBIAS POV**

I look at Mrs Prior and I don't even know what to say. I know Tris loved her mum dearly and that if she was sitting with me now she would be telling me to trust her. That her mum would do all that she could to help me. I wipe the tears from my eyes and open my mouth to speak but I can't form words, there is so much I need to tell Mrs Prior but I'm so confused at this moment. I don't understand how I can be sitting on my old bed in Abnegation or that Mrs Prior is sitting here with me.

"How are you alive?" I ask.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 3**

 **TOBIAS POV**

"Tobias it is the night before your Choosing Ceremony. What day do you think it is?" Mrs prior asks me.

I stare at her stunned, 'What?" it comes out barely as a whisper. I am so confused right now, does this mean that Tris is alive? Does it mean that there hasn't been a war on Abnegation? That there hasn't been any other deaths? I think of Uriah, Will, Tori, even Eric. How can this be possible?

I open my mouth to speak when I see Marcus and Mr Prior standing in the door way to my bedroom. I cringe at the sight of Marcus. I don't know how much more pain my body is going to be able to cope with once Mr and Mrs Prior leave the house tonight, Marcus is going to go on an absolute rampage once they are gone.

Mrs Prior sees my reaction and turns to see Marcus and her husband standing in the door way, she stands walks over to them and says very calmly, "I think it would be better if you both wait downstairs." Marcus opens his mouth to speak and Mrs Prior says with more force but still in her calm even tone, "I think you have caused enough problems for tonight Marcus, I need you to go back downstairs." I can now see where Tris gets her strength from, the Prior women are definitely not to be messed with.

I hear Marcus huff as he turns to walk downstairs. Mrs Prior then says to her husband, "this may take awhile, I need you to keep Marcus downstairs do not let him back up here, and I will explain everything later." Mr Prior gives his wife a small smile of understanding and gently squeezes her hand before turning and walking away.

Mrs Prior turns back to me and comes and sits back on my bed. She reaches out and holds my hand. It makes me think that this is what it would feel like to have a mom. Someone who makes you feel loved and protected, the protected part is something I've never felt before living in this house. Holding her hand makes me think of Tris again and it takes all my strength not to start crying again. I can feel the tears starting to build. Just stay strong Tobias I say to myself. Find out what is going on.

"When you woke up Tobias, what day did you think it was? How old do you think you were? Mrs Prior asks me.

"Eighteen", I answer. I have no idea what day it is or the date. I just saw my girlfriend lying in the morgue, I don't really have a clue on anything at the moment. I still feel like everything is moving in slow motion, like I'm in some time warp. I remember how I felt the day I had my aptitude test and I am having those same feelings again but this time I have all the pain of what has happened in the last few years since the day of my aptitude test as well. It is extremely overwhelming and I'm starting to feel light headed. If I wasn't so interested in getting some answers I probably would have passed out by now.

"Tobias did the serum they gave you today make you feel sick? I am asked. I nod.

"What did you receive on your aptitude test?" Mrs Prior asks.

"Abnegation", I reply.

"Were you aware while you were in the simulation?" is her next question.

I know I shouldn't be talking about this, my father is likely to kill me for saying any of it, but sitting here with Mrs Prior holding my hand giving me strength just the way her daughter has always done, I can't help but answer her, "yes". I feel like I have no choice but to give her honest answers, Tris and I spent so much time having to make up and apologise to each other after lying to each other or keeping things from each other that I feel like if I lie to Mrs Prior I am in turn lying to Tris.

"Tobias did your father coach you on how to receive an Abnegation result?" Mrs Prior asks.

"Yes", I answer


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 4**

 **NATALIE POV**

Sitting here with Tobias I can't believe how unwise Marcus has been. Now that I've seen the marks of abuse that this child has had to endure I shouldn't really be surprised that he would coach his son through his aptitude test. Marcus knew there could be consequences to his actions. It seems Marcus thinks he is above the rest of us. Being the leader of Abnegation and the council has definitely led him astray. All the while everyone has pitied him for losing his wife and child, if only they could see the monster he has become.

"Tobias there are details I need to explain to you, if you have any questions I will try to answer them but I am also going to need to know what you saw in your dream," I explain to Tobias. He sits there wide eyed and slowly nods his head to me.

"When a person is divergent occasionally strange things can happen with their test. Divergents are aware through the simulation and I expect that's why your father coached you on how to pass the test with only an Abnegation result. There are people out there that are scared of anyone who is divergent. Being divergent isn't wrong it just means that your brain works differently and you can fit into more than one faction. When someone has been coached to pass their aptitude test a certain way there appears to be a reaction that occasionally occurs. Between the serum and the electrodes that they use in the simulation room it seems to stimulate the brain," I explain.

Tobias looks at me and I can see that he is trying to process what I have been saying. He then says, "But I'm not divergent, the people at the Bureau ran tests and told me I wasn't."

I look at Tobias and try not to look shocked. I have to keep my composure here and continue on explaining what is going on before I start to get carried away with whatever he may be going to tell me.

I begin to speak again trying to keep my voice calm so that I don't scare Tobias. "Whatever you have been told is false, only a divergent would react the way you have. There are different reactions that people can have after they have been administered the serum. Some children will throw up, others faint. Hallucinations can happen or in extremely rare cases like yours they can see into the future."

"Tobias whatever you have seen can be changed, the future hasn't been written yet. I need to know what you saw, I need you to go into as much detail as you can remember. I'm really sorry but I am going to need you to tell me now before the memories start to fade. Do you think you can do this for me?" I ask

 **TOBIAS POV**

I slowly nod my head, trying to think where I should start. There is so much to try and explain.

I lean back on the wall as I sit on my bed and I begin. I explain how I chose Dauntless at the Choosing Ceremony, needing to get as far from Marcus as I could, how I got the nickname of Four and that it wasn't until years later that people found out who I was, I explain how I was first in my initiate class and had the choice of any job including leader but went to work in the control room and as an initiation instructor. I explained how Jeanine Matthews came to observe one of my fear simulations and then watched my trainer Amars and that he was found dead a week later. I tell her about my mother being alive and that she is now leading the factionless. How being in the control room I got to see what was happening throughout not only Dauntless but the city. That I was able to hack into Maxs computer and found the attack plans that Dauntless and Erudite had devised. But that I didn't know when it would happen at the time.

I feel like I've been talking for hours trying to get every detail out so that maybe I'll have a better chance of stopping all the deaths that have occurred over the last few years. Although I am still having a hard time believing that any of this is real and that at any moment Christina will find me and wake me, telling me some stupid reason why I have to keep on living and that Tris wouldn't want to see me this way.

I try to only give Mrs Prior the information that would be of importance to the attack on Abnegation but then I can't help but tell her how Tris choosing Dauntless was the best day of my life and the excitement I felt when she was the first jumper. I'm so excited to tell her how Tris came first in her initiate class and that she had overcome so many obstacles from other initiates to get there and most importantly how much I love Tris.

I then try and explain to her how she was killed whilst saving her daughter from the Dauntless under the simulation and that Mr Prior also was killed a short time after. The hardest part is when I have to explain that Caleb had chosen Erudite and had betrayed his sister and had tested serum after serum on her and had then tried to kill her.

Mrs Prior just sits and listens. I'm extremely relieved that she doesn't interrupt me or ask any questions. She just lets the words keep spewing out of my mouth. I must talk for at least another hour about everything that has happened. Until I finally get to the end and that's when the tears start to well up in my eyes again. I take a deep breath and tell her about how after I saw Tris lying in the morgue I went back to the room we had shared and fallen asleep, only to be woken by her.

"Tobias I want you to get the clothes you were going to wear to the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow, I am going to have you stay at my place tonight. I think your father has done enough damage for one day, probably a life time. I can certainly understand why you chose to leave Abnegation."

With this she walks out the door and downstairs to where Marcus and Mr Prior are waiting.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 5**

 **NATALIE POV**

I walk down the stairs to see Andrew and Marcus sitting, they both rise from their chairs.

"Marcus I am taking Tobias back to our home tonight. You have an important role to play as our leader at the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow and it would be best if you can get a good nights rest", I am so nervous as I say this, I pray he won't argue the point. Hopefully I have played on his ego just enough, I have to do everything in my power to make sure that Marcus cannot harm this boy again. I'm sure he will if he stays here, I see a flare of anger quickly wash over his face and then he calmly nods his head.

I explain that we can all meet in the morning and depart for the Choosing Ceremony together, that way no one will be none the wiser for what has transpired tonight. Relief floods my body, but it will only be short lived. There is so much that needs to be done to stop the attack on Abnegation, I also need to check to see if Evelyn is actually alive. I can't believe that both parents could put a child through so much pain, how either of them could ever call themselves selfless is beyond any comprehension that I have. Although I have to remember that the way I am thinking is not very selfless either. Seems my Dauntless side can still surface at times, even after all these years.

 **TOBIAS POV**

When Mrs Prior leaves my room I gather the clothes I will need for tomorrow, putting my shoes on so I can walk to the Prior house. I lift up my mothers blue sculpture and put it on the desk just as I had the first time I left this house before my Choosing Ceremony. Is this how the next few years are going to be, me doing things I've already done before. I start to think of all the things I have the power to change, I could be lost with these thoughts for days. I shake my head trying to get some relief from the overload of information that feels like is going to make my head explode and I walk down stairs.

I am half way down the stairs when it finally dawns on me that I'm about to walk into the Prior house, but not that just that it's the Priors' house, it's also where Tris lives. Is she there now? Will I see her? Is she really alive? Alive, I never thought I'd get to see her alive again. A few hours ago my whole world had been crumbling around me. The only thought that had been going through my mind was when I had once told Tris, 'you die, I die too'. All I wanted to do was die too. But now I have hope. Now I may have the chance to see her again. Could it be possible that I could have my one more kiss, one more word, one more glance, one more. Does someone like me really get their one more?

But first I have to escape this house, I hope Mrs Prior has a good plan.

I get down stairs and see Mr and Mrs Prior talking to Marcus, I can't look at him I am so afraid he is going to grab me and tell me that I am not leaving his house. As I walk towards the front door I feel every muscle tensing in my body, I don't think I've ever had my jaw clenched so tight in my whole life. I walk out the door and I can see that Mr and Mrs Prior are right behind me. Mrs Prior turns to Marcus and says, "We will see you in the morning, goodnight Marcus."

We walk in silence to the Prior home and with every step I feel my body slowly starting to relax. Knowing that I will never have to be in that house with Marcus again brings untold relief. Although I have had that feeling before. I don't know if knowing what the future may hold is a good or bad thing, I do know that having Mrs Prior here is making everything a little easier.

As we are getting closer to the Prior home a different type of tension is starting to move through my body. Maybe its apprehension more that tension. All I can think of is Tris. Calm down Tobias, just calm down. I keep repeating this to myself as we are getting closer and closer to her home. You have to remember she doesn't know what you know. You're nothing to her yet. Yet! Yet, three little letters that are filling me with hope. Please don't let my hopes come crashing down around me. I have to remind myself how late it is and that she would probably be asleep. How am I going to get any sleep knowing she is so close? Is she this close? Is she going to be there? So many questions, not enough time to process any of them.

Once we get inside Mrs Prior directs me to sit on the couch while she goes and gets her first aid kit. She asks me to lift my shirt and starts to try and relieve the injuries to my back. Mr Prior stares in disbelief. "Tobias did Marcus do this to you?" he asks. I just nod I am too tired to try to explain what has been happening in that house.

When Mrs Prior finishes she asks Mr Prior to go and get a blanket and pillow so I can sleep on their couch tonight. While he is upstairs Mrs Prior sits on the couch next to me. She is telling me everything will be alright and that she will help me to get through everything. I hear a noise on the stairs and look up and there she is.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 6**

 **NATALIE POV**

If I hadn't been sitting next to Tobias I wouldn't have even heard the whisper that comes out of his mouth. "Tris", he says.

I can't believe that I hadn't put it all together when he was telling me what had happened. I kept wondering why he had told me so much information about Caleb but only snippets about Beatrice. Now I realise why, he called her Tris, he had just recounted the whole story of them falling in love and I had been oblivious to all of it. Now it dawns on me that he has also told me how she dies. I almost forget to breathe. I have to do everything in my power to save my little girl.

Andrew walks back into the room and he looks at Beatrice then to Tobias and then to me. I can see he is about to tell her to go back to bed but I shake my head at him and quickly say, "Beatrice can you please make the couch up for Tobias he will be staying with us tonight".

Beatrice has been staring intently at Tobias since she first came down stairs, she turns to me with a strange look on her face and I know there are a lot of questions that she wants to ask. I don't know if it is Tobias who is distracting her from asking whatever questions are on her mind or if she maybe has just enough Abnegation in her to know it would be inappropriate to ask the questions right now. Beatrice finishes making the couch into a bed for Tobias and I ask her to go back to bed.

Tobias interrupts and asks if she could stay just till he falls asleep. I want to say no, but I also know that with everything he has been through tonight, I can't deny him this one request. I can see Andrew about to open his mouth but I walk over to him and take his arm and tell him it is time we all get some rest. I say goodnight to Beatrice and Tobias and lead Andrew up to our room. We still have so much to talk about tonight, we will be lucky if we get any sleep at all.

 **TRIS POV**

I wake to hear my parents downstairs. I look at my watch and see that is nearly one in the morning. They are never up this late. I know I should stay in my bed, that I'll probably be in trouble if I walk downstairs and see what is happening but as usual my curiosity gets the better of me. As I reach the bottom step I see my mum sitting with a boy. I stare at the boy and can't believe I have never seen him before, he has the most amazing dark blue eyes I have ever seen. I can't stop staring and he is staring straight back at me. I know I'm blushing but I just keep staring. It is only when he speaks do I finally look away.

I hear him murmur something to my mum but I can't hear what it is that he has said. But the surprising thing is my mother looks totally shocked. My mother is always so composed but whatever he has said has shown me a different side to my mum. She is always so selfless, even when we go to volunteer with the factionless it doesn't matter what they say or do she will always keep that warm inviting smile on her face and continue helping them. But this boy has totally unhinged her a little but only for the briefest of moments.

My mother asks me to make up the couch for Tobias and that is when I realise that this must be Marcus Eaton's son Tobias. We never see him around, not since his mother died. I don't know why he is never around, I don't think I've ever thought much about it until now. But having him sitting in our family room has raised so many questions in my mind. The looks on my parents' faces tell me that this is not the time for questions and it is taking every bit of control not to just ask the one question I would love to know more than any, why is Tobias Eaton staying in our home tonight?

Before I can even think of asking this one question my thoughts are interrupted with my mother asking me to go to bed. As I turn to go up the stairs the most unthinkable question comes out of Tobias' mouth. I don't know if I'm more shocked at his question or my mothers' response. Why would he want my company as he falls asleep and what is my mum thinking, actually saying she thinks that this would be alright. Ok so not that I wouldn't want to spend time with this boy as he is really nice to look at and I'm intrigued to know why he is here, but I live in Abnegation, we aren't even allowed to hold hands in public and my mum is giving me permission to sit with a boy, as he falls asleep no less. I slowly walk over to the couch where Tobias is now laying and sit next to the pillow he has rested his head on, I have never been so nervous in my entire life and I don't understand why, I'm only sitting next to him.

My father turns out the light and my parents walk up the stairs. There is light coming through the window from the street light just outside the window, I can see Tobias has closed his eyes, he doesn't seem to have fallen asleep yet. As I look over at him curled up on our couch it is taking every ounce of control I have not to touch him, just to run my fingers through his hair. I have no idea where that thought has come from.

His breathing has seemed to have evened out now and I am sure he is sleeping. I really should go back to my own bed, I don't know how long I can resist not to touch him and I don't want to wake him or more importantly have my parents catch me touching him. That's not the only reason but it is the only one I'm going to admit to myself. I slowly rise off the couch when a hand grabs my wrist, his touch is like an electric shock, not a shock that startles you but it's like a warm buzz that is making its way through my whole body, I have never felt anything like this before. I didn't know you could get such a feeling from someone touching you. I think I'm starting to understand why Abnegation has such strict ideals on touching.

"Please don't leave me", Tobias whispers.

"Ok", I whisper back. I don't know why or how I get up the courage but next thing I know I am asking him to make room for me and nest I am laying in Tobias' arms with my back to his chest. He lets out a sigh and I can feel the tension leave his body. He whispers something that sounds like 'just one more'. I have no idea what he means by this but I could hear his smile as he said it. I know there will be consequences for what I am doing but the feelings I am having being this close to Tobias are definitely going to be worth it.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 7**

 **NATALIE POV**

As soon as Andrew shuts our bedroom door he turns to me and I can already see he is both angry and confused at what has transpired down stairs.

"What was that Nat? You just left our fourteen year old daughter alone with that young man".

"Andrew calm down, I have a lot that I need to tell you and if there is one thing I do know it is that Tobias needs to be close to Beatrice right now. After everything he has told me tonight, the one person she can be left alone with his him," I tell him.

We both sit on the bed and I then tell him everything that Tobias has told me. I explain that it wasn't until Tobias saw Beatrice and called her by her Dauntless name that I realised who he had been talking about while he relived his story. Andrew looks at me with both shock and worry etched all over his face.

"Andrew we have both known since Beatrice was seven years old that she was going to transfer to Dauntless. It has always been evident that she didn't fit into Abnegation. It is even more evident now from what Tobias told me. Even after Caleb transferred before her she still couldn't help herself, she was never going to be happy here."

Andrew starts to laugh, as if he is remembering something Beatrice has done in the past and he turns to me and says, "she is more like her mother than I thought", maybe he is just remembering the teenage girl that I once was.

"I don't think Beatrice is our biggest problem though, do you?" I ask. Not really wanting the answer to this, especially when I already know the answer.

"I can't believe Caleb, he knows how much I hate my old faction, I don't know how we can fix any of this. To not only betray his old faction but to betray his family. Especially if we are both gone and to still turn on Beatrice like he is going too. I think that is what hurts the most, that somehow we have raised him this way", Andrew replies.

It is exactly what I was thinking, how could we have raised two children who are going to turn out so differently. I hug Andrew and tell him that we still have time to change what is going to happen and that we should try and get some sleep before tomorrow's ceremony.

I am totally exhausted, I don't think I will be getting any sleep tonight. I am going to need to try and talk to Tobias before we leave tomorrow. Make sure that he chooses Dauntless, then I am going to have to try and talk to some old friends in Dauntless, make sure that they can look out for him for me. I also need to contact the Bureau, as much as I've been able to avoid David for the last fifteen years, I don't think I will be able to avoid him any longer.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 8**

 **TOBIAS POV**

I am being shaken awake from what feels like the best night sleep I have ever had by Mrs Prior. Tris must have only just left my side because I can still feel the heat on my chest from where she had been sleeping. I don't remember a time when Tris and I had been able to have such a peaceful night sleep together. While I am excited that we have been given this moment I am also feeling deflated. I know that these feelings are only one sided, Tris doesn't have a clue of what we have been through together. But then in reality none of what I saw has even happened yet.

The thoughts start to swarm around in my head again, just like they were last night, it's like a constant buzzing of bees. Questions start to randomly pop into my head. What if life is going to be nothing like what I had dreamed? Is Tris the way she was? Would she even want to be with me? Do I choose to leave Abnegation? Or should I stay? Am I able to live through everything again? How can I stop a war? Then the unthinkable thought stops the buzzing in my ears. What if it was just her time? I can't think like this, I have to keep that question out of my head. I have to concentrate on right now.

Why did she come and lay with me in the first place? Aargh please brain stop with all these questions. I know our connection was strong in my dream, from the moment she landed on the net I knew I was gone. Are we going to have this much affect on each other? Do we already?

I look up at Mrs Prior who has a small smile on her face. "Tobias stop trying to over think everything, you just need to get through the next few days. I need you to still choose Dauntless today. Not many people would remember now but I am originally from Dauntless, as you know, and I still have people I can trust there who can help us. I assume you had been thinking of leaving Abnegation even before last nights dream?" I just nod as I continue to listen to what Mrs Prior has to say. Right now it feels easier to just listen rather than try to make any decisions myself.

"I will find away to come and visit you on visiting day. We will be able to talk more and we will also be able to see if what you saw last night is coming true. Now let's get you a shower and some breakfast, you have a long day ahead of you," Mrs Prior is saying as she gives my hands a reassuring squeeze.

"Mrs Prior I", I am saying this as Mrs Prior interrupts me.

"Tobias please call me Natalie".

"Natalie can you please not tell Tris about my father? I need to tell her myself if I ever get the chance," I say this as barely a whisper almost hoping that if no one can hear me then it won't stop Tris from transferring in two years time. At this point I think my biggest fear is that she won't choose Dauntless and then it would be just like she had died, and I don't know if I can live through that pain again. The pain that I felt last night from losing her is still very fresh in my mind, I have never felt pain like it, not even when my mother died, I will do absolutely anything to avoid that pain again.

I rise from the couch and Natalie ushers me upstairs for a shower. From there everything is so rushed that it feels like only minutes before we are walking out the front door and towards my fathers' house. At least he can't hurt me in front of the Prior family and then we will be in crowds and my father always likes to put on a good show of how "Abnegation" he really is. I almost laugh out loud at this thought, his true colours have seen the light of day if only a small glimpse in the last few hours, I wonder how long before they crack completely. Will my choosing Dauntless be his undoing? I hope so.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 9**

 **TOBIAS POV**

I walk with the Priors' down to my fathers' house. I just hope they stay close to me when I see my father again. I really don't want to be by myself with him this morning. It is like Natalie can sense my apprehension for as soon as we reach my fathers house she steps forward and knocks on the front door.

My father opens the door with a smile on his face. Seems he is going to play the game today. Here comes doting dad, as if nothing happened last night or any other night for the last seven years. "Good morning Natalie", he says in a booming voice. Taking all of us by surprise.

"I hope Tobias was on his best behaviour last night? I hope you enjoyed your little sleep over with the Priors son", as he says this he puts an arm around my shoulder and hisses is my ear so no one else can hear, "there are going to be consequences to what you pulled last night". He lets go of my shoulder. I can see everyone looking at me as I try not to cringe with him touching me or cry out with the pain his touch causes me. I put my head down and avert my eyes to the ground. Tris is so short that when I look down my eyes catch hers. I can see that she is looking at me with a mix of confusion and concern. I try to give her a small smile to reassure her I'm ok. She gives me a smile back which just warms my heart.

"Good morning Andrew, I hope you are well?", Marcus nods to Mr Prior.

"Morning Marcus, we are all fine this morning"

"Good, good. Caleb, Beatrice nice to see you both again. Not long now until it will be choosing day for both of you. Such an important day for our young people", as Marcus keeps talking I tune out, not wanting to have to listen to whatever rubbish he is spouting out of his mouth. The man has two faces and the wonderful, caring Abnegation leader is on full display for the world to see today.

We get to the bus stop just as the bus is pulling up and we all hop on. Like all good Abnegation we stand in the aisle and this gives Marcus his chance to talk to me without anyone else listening. There is quite a lot of noise on the bus this morning, the excitement of the Choosing Ceremony always brings out cheeriness in the people. It will be a different story on the way home especially if their children have transferred factions.

"You know what to expect," he whispers into my ear. I nod slightly so he knows I am listening. "You'll stand in your place, when your name is called you will go forward to get your knife. Then you will cut yourself and drop the blood into the right bowl." The emphasis on the word right that he makes almost has me laughing. Right bowl, the words seem so ridiculous to me, I know I have to keep my eyes down and just nod. I don't want him to see into my eyes, I can't let him know that I am leaving, I just have to last a little bit longer and I will be free.

"The knife will only hurt for a moment. Then your choice will be made and it will all be over."

"Don't worry about me handling pain," I say. "I've had a lot of practice."

He grabs hold of my arm and squeezes as tight as he can without making it obvious to the people around us. The bus is full with people now so it isn't obvious to anyone what he is actually doing to me. I now realise that no matter what the future holds, whether my dream was really what will happen or not _. I just have to get out._ It is the same desperate thought that I had in the dream about the Choosing Ceremony the first time I had to choose. I had been so caught up in my fear of being so close to my father I had almost forgot about the night befores dream. We reach our destination and Marcus lets my arm go, there will be bruises there later. I suppose Marcus thinks it won't matter because my Abnegation clothes will cover it. Hopefully it will just make me look tough to the Dauntless.

We walk into the Hub and towards my fate. I have never understood how it could be selfish to ride in the elevator. Why the ceremony has to be on the twentieth floor is beyond my comprehension, the last thing I want to do is walk up all those stairs. Then it happens, it is like the people part and Caleb, Tris and I are pushed into the elevator along with a large group of people. We have been separated from our parents. I hear Natalie call to us saying they will meet us on the twentieth floor.

I can't believe my luck, there are so many people crammed into the space that Tris is pushed into me. Suddenly I don't feel so lucky, as the doors close I can feel myself feeling faint and my breathing has become short and rapid, my heart feels like it is about to burst out of my chest. Just when I thought I was getting a few minutes alone with Tris the terror of being locked in our hall closet is coming back to me.

Caleb looks at me and can see the beads of sweat starting to form on my forehead. "Are you claustrophobic Tobias?" Caleb asks. All I can do is nod and a sort of grunt comes out of my mouth almost like I'm a deranged animal. This is so embarrassing, I just wish we would get to the twentieth floor as quickly as possible. All of a sudden I feel a small hand lace with mine, Tris turns her head and looks into my eyes and she whispers, "it's okay, we will be there soon." A warmth runs through my body and although I can't relax I know I will survive to get out of this box. It is amazing how many stops the elevator makes before we reach our destination. I lean over and whisper, "thank you," into her ear and see the blush come over her face. This makes me smile, I have always loved her modesty. When I move away I can see Caleb glaring at us, but I don't care we haven't done anything inappropriate.

He is about to say something when the doors suddenly open and I feel like I can breathe again. We wait outside the doors to the ceremony for Marcus and the Priors to arrive. Caleb starts rambling on some useless facts and statistics about the Choosing Ceremony. I look at Tris who is rolling her eyes and try not to laugh, neither one of us are listening to a word he says. I'm just enjoying being able to be in such close proximity to Tris. I know this is the last time I will be able to be this close until after her Choosing Ceremony two years from now. At least I know she's alive. I just have to hope that she still chooses Dauntless.

The parents arrive and start to usher us into the room. Just as I'm about to be parted from Tris I lean down and say, "see you in two years Tris." As I'm moving away from her I look her in the eyes and wink. I then have to turn and walk into the room with my father leaving Tris with a surprised look on her face. I don't think I've ever had to be as brave as I just was and I can't seem to wipe the smile off me face.

My father sneers at me as he says, "wipe that smile off your face, you are embarrassing me." If only he knew just how embarrassed I was about to make him feel.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 10**

 **TOBIAS POV**

As we walk into the dimly lit room Marcus directs me to the line I am to stand in waiting for my name to be called.

"You know what to do," he says, and it's more like he's telling himself than me. "You know what the right choice is. I know you do." I definitely know what the right choice is, it's just not the same choice he has in mind for me.

"I'll see you soon," he says. No you won't I think to myself. No you won't.

He moves away from me towards the Abnegation section, sitting in the front row with some of the other council leaders. The doors close, there is a moment of quiet as Max the council representative from Dauntless moves onto the podium. I tune out at this point I am sure I have heard what Max is about to say.

I start to think about what has happened in the last twenty four hours. There is so much going on in my brain that I almost miss my name being called.

"Eaton, Tobias."

I am feeling extremely nervous now, I didn't have that feeling last time. But there is so much more at stake this time. I remember Natalies words from this morning, telling me I need to choose Dauntless, I think of Tris and what will I do if she doesn't choose Dauntless. How much work is ahead of me just to get through the Duantless initiation, not to mention what I will need to do to help prevent the city from turning on its self.

I get my knife from Max, I look over to my father and see him nod, and I cut into my palm. I curl my hand into a fist to let the blood pool there, as I open my palm I let the blood drop onto the coals with a sizzle. I sigh and start to walk towards the Dauntless.

I turn to look up into the crowd and I see Tris smiling at me. Now I know I definitely made the right decision. I realise right at this moment that no matter what my fate may hold, even if I only have a short time left to be with Tris, then I will take anytime that I can get. I just have to wait a little while longer until I will get that opportunity.

As I reach the Dauntless I feel hands slapping my arms, congratulating me on my choice. All of a sudden the room has gone completely quite. Marcus has risen from his seat and turned to look into the Abnegation crowd, he is pointing his finger shaking it at Natalie. He yells, "YOU," at the top of his voice. The whole room has turned to look at what is now going on in the Abnegation section. I slink behind some of the Dauntless hoping that I can keep myself hidden. "This is your fault, this," he is then stopped before he can get the rest of whatever he was ranting about out by one of the other council members and they encourage him to sit down.

The ceremony continues without any more drama. I was so worried about whether I would have only four fears I didn't think that I would have to worry about people remembering my name. And the way today has gone so far I can only hope that the Dauntless will act the way every other faction perceives them and soon forget where I am from.

 **A/N**

 **I would just like to give a big thank you to everyone who is giving me such positive and great reviews. I try and respond but it's not always possible and I can't respond to guests. So I would like to say that is such an awesome feeling when I see a new review come through. It really motivates me to keep writing.**

 **I would also like to say thank you to all the people who are now following and have marked this story as a favourite. I don't think you will ever know just how excited it makes me feel.**

 **At school the teachers basically told me I sucked at English so every time another person adds me to their favourites or has started following my story, or when I get a positive review I like to think f##k you to those English teachers. So thank you everyone I hope you keep enjoying the story.**


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 11**

 **TOBIAS POV**

After all the drama at the Choosing Ceremony everything has gone just like it did in my nightmare. I even got into the wrong car on the train. So once again I am sitting in the car with Amar and Tori. When Amar asks me my name I let him know that he can just call me 'Stiff', I am praying at this stage that I still only have four fears. Please let it only be four, please let it only be four I keep repeating to myself. Really, I could just change my name to any name I wanted, I'm sure that would be the logical thing to do. But then that would be weird, not that calling yourself by a number isn't weird right?

When we are on the roof of the compound I start to think maybe I should try and jump first, that would be a great way to get myself known, it is always an honour to be the first jumper. Then reality hits me, my fear of heights takes over and I am doing all I can just to stay calm. If only Tris was here to hold my hand and calm me down. Just thinking of her makes me realise that everything will be ok. I only have to jump off this building once, no pressure, well maybe no pressure if I didn't feel like I was plunging to my death. Before my thoughts get the better of me I see Zeke hop onto the ledge and you wouldn't believe it, or maybe you would it is Zeke we are talking about. He misjudges the jump and tips forward losing his balance and he is off the roof and yelling who knows what as he disappears.

After I finally jumped into the Dauntless compound Amar explains that it is time to face our fears. For two years I have continually gone through my fear landscape over and over and over again. It was my obsession. Today it is back to the unknown, will the four fears be the same? Will I have more? Is it even possible to have less? All these questions and more are spinning around in my head. Just like the first time I stay near the back of the room, shrinking down every time Amar calls on the next person. Now I am the only person left in the room other than Amar. Here is my moment of truth, is it going to be Four the Dauntless prodigy or am I going to walk out of this room nameless with more fears than anyone else has ever seen? I am going to have a lot of explaining to do if this turns out anything like the aptitude test, what if Marcus coaching me will now affect all future simulations that I am put under.

Amar inserts the needle into my neck and suddenly all the crazy thoughts that have been plaguing me since last night disappear just as the room is disappearing along with them. The familiarity of the simulation washes over me, I'm probably the calmest I have been since I had Tris come through my fear landscape. This time although the fear is ever present it has a whole new meaning to what it had before. I can't explain exactly why it feels so different or the exact feelings I have other than knowing the fears are still here. But in a strange way it is almost comforting, especially when I see I am standing on the ledge of the building that seems to forever move me farther away from the ground.

As I have done so many times before, not really though because this is actually officially the first time I have been through this. I don't think I am making sense even in my own mind at the moment. It doesn't matter though I am startled back to the reality of being on the edge of the building with the wind stopping me from moving back away from the ledge. The fear is starting to take a hold now as all other thoughts leave me and all I can feel is my heart pounding harder and faster as I make the realization that I need to jump.

I shake out my hands, squeeze my eyes shut, and scream into my teeth. Then I follow the push of the wind and I drop, fast. I hit the ground feeling the searing, white-hot pain rush through me and then it is gone.

One down, hopefully only three to go. Hopefully is the word that keeps repeating in my mind until I feel something hit my left side, then the right. This continues until I am enclosed in a large box. At first I feel as though I can't breathe, this feeling doesn't leave, it just becomes worst. I'm feeling like I am going to suffocate when all of a sudden I remember the elevator ride at the Hub today. Those beautiful blue grey eyes looking at me, holding my hand, reassuring me that I will be alright. It gives me the clarity to think for just a brief moment. I start to look for a crowbar, I can't see much with how dark it is in the box so I start to feel around until I find the crowbar. It feels like I have been in this box for days I wedge the crowbar between the boards and push as hard as I can.

Finally the box springs open and I lay on the ground breathing in large gulps of air. Relieved I am finally out of the box I slowly stand wondering what will I see next. Before it was an unknown woman that I had to shoot, nothing could prepare me for what it has changed too.

There sits Tris, smiling her beautiful smile and she is holding a baby girl on her lap. I gasp as the child looks up into my eyes and I see my own eyes staring back at me. The child looks just like Tris except for her eyes. I can see that this is what I had hoped for in my future until David took any chance of this happening away from me. That's when I see David he approaches from behind Tris with a gun in his hand. He smiles at me and says, "you weren't there to protect her, you don't deserve someone as pure as she is, this is your own fault." He lifts the gun, I frantically look around for something to stop him but there is nothing. I lunge towards him as I am about a metre away two shots are fired in quick succession. I stumble as I see Tris and our baby fall to the ground dead. I have to try and calm myself, I have to try and calm myself, I try to slow my breathing, I have to try and calm myself. I close my eyes so I can't see the bodies on the floor and I just concentrate on my breathing trying to force happy memories into my mind.

I don't know how long I sit on the floor before I feel the temperature in the room change and I know that I'm no longer in that fear. I open my eyes to see I am now sitting in an Abnegation house. I stand and then I see him. Marcus. Not the Marcus Eaton I know. This one has pits for eyes and a gaping black maw instead of a mouth.

And then slowly more and more monstrous versions of my father surround me. The first Marcus undoes his belt and he slides it out from around his waist, loop by loop, and as he does, so do the other Marcuses. Their belts are now turning into ropes made of metal, barbed at the ends. They drag their belts in lines across the floor, their oily black tongues sliding over the edge of their dark mouths. At once they draw back the metal ropes, and I scream at the top of my lungs, wrapping my arms around my head.

"This is for your own good," they all say to me in metallic, united voices.

I feel pain, tearing, ripping, shredding. I fall to my knees and squeeze my arms against my ears like they can protect me, but nothing can protect me, nothing. I scream again and again but the pain continues, and so does the voice.

I try to block the noise from my ears as I think back to last night. How Natalie saved me from my last night with my father, how I laid with Tris in my arms. That warm fuzzy feeling I get whenever I am able to touch her. The voices start to disappear and I let my arms fall to the ground.

My knuckles brush the stone floor and then I hear footsteps and I brace myself for what's coming next, but all I hear is Amar's voice.

"That's it?" he asks. "That's all there is? God, Stiff."

I breathe a sigh of relief, not just that it is over but I still have four fears. All the time I kept going through my fear landscape in the hope that I had rid myself of those fears, now at this very moment I am so relieved that, that is all I have. I now don't need to worry about what people are going to call me, not worry that 'Stiff' is what they will remember. Now as I take my seat with the other initiates in the dining hall and start to serve myself some dinner, Amar has been good enough to let everyone know that I am now Four. And I have been able to take a serve at Eric, putting him in his place when he tries to help people to remember who I once was.

As I start eating I realise that I have so much to do now that I am here, that everything since I jumped on the train has played out the same way as it did in my nightmare. I know there are things I need to try and change right from the start. But I also know that the most important thing I will need to do at this moment in time is get the number one in front of my name by the end of initiation, then hopefully I can look at changing what I have seen. Happy memories instead of what keeps replaying in my head.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 12**

 **NATALIE POV**

Once the other factions have left the Choosing Ceremony we start to clean the room. Marcus walks over to me and in a voice loud enough for the other Abnegation to hear he apologises for his outburst during the ceremony. He explains that he had not been expecting his son to be a traitor and that Tobias had been unstable ever since his mother had died.

I nod my forgiveness to him, and as he turns to move away I speak so only he can hear me, "I know what you did to him, I saw the evidence for myself. I also know Evelyn isn't dead. You should be careful Marcus you are on very thin ground."

All of a sudden a booming laugh comes from Marcus, I don't think anyone has heard an Abnegation laugh like this before. "Thank you Natalie, I would love to come for dinner next week. That is very kind of you." With that he walks away from me and because the whole room has been watching our interaction I smile as sweetly as I can even though it is extremely forced. Thinking to myself, you will never set foot in my home again.

After dinner I walk upstairs and knock on Beatrice's bedroom door.

"Come in," Beatrice calls out.

"Hi sweetie, how are you?"

"I'm okay, a bit tired", she tells me whilst yawning. I have to wonder if she is actually that tired or if she knows I'm about to talk to her about what I saw this morning.

"I saw you sleeping with Tobias this morning," I say as I give her a hug.

"Mum I'm sorry, I didn't'" as she is saying this I put my finger to her lip and tell her I'm not angry.

She looks up at me and before she can ask me why I say, "Beatrice it is okay. I don't want you to feel bad about what you did. I'm glad your father or Caleb didn't see you. I know Abnegation have very strict guidelines on what is appropriate behaviour but it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. If you lived in another faction then you would have different rules that you would be following."

We sit on Beatrice's bed and continue our talk. She tells me how when she went to leave him he asked her to stay and the feeling she got when he touched her. This made me smile and to remember why I came to Abnegation in the first place.

Beatrice tells me about what happened before the Choosing Ceremony. While I'm a little shocked at how bold Tobias had been it still gives me an opening to tell my daughter that when it is her time to choose that I will love her no matter what she chooses.

We sit and talk for hours, it feels good that I'm not holding back like the Abnegation teach us to. I get to tell her how I was from Dauntless and how her father and I fell in love, how we chose Abnegation so we could be together. There is so much more I could tell her, especially how I was originally from outside the fence. But I don't want to overwhelm her and hopefully she will never have to hear about or see that place.

Just as we are about to go to bed Beatrice asks, "Why did Tobias stay here last night?"

"That's not my story to tell Beatrice. I'm sure he will tell you when he is ready." With this I hug my daughter good night and leave her room.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 13**

 **ERIC POV**

Final day of fights today. I have been looking forward to this fight so much. Finally people will take notice of just how bad ass I am when I take down Four. Four, stupid name, I can't wait to tell everyone who he really is, but I need to bide my time with that one. Say it when he least expects it, make a fool of him in the biggest possible way that I can.

I'm sitting on my mattress next to Four tying my shoelaces when he starts to stir. He looks like complete shit. Ha this is going to be awesome. I look at Four and tell him, " You look like hell." He tries to move and you can almost hear the throbbing in his head. He must have finally let loose, about time he did. Always keeping to himself like he thinks he is better than the rest of us.

"I hope that when you lose, you don't use it as an excuse," I say as I try to sneer at him, "Because I would have beat you anyway." With that I get up, stretch and walk out and to the training room. I'm walking to the training room thinking of the fights Four won, he had the easiest of fights, first that stupid Amity girl who almost beat him. Then that oaf from Candor, can't remember his name, not that it's important anyway. Jeanine has set things up with Max so that I will get a leadership position anyway. I just need to beat Four more for my pride than anything else but it will definitely be good to be able to brag about beating the guy with only four fears.

I get to the training room and I see all the transfer initiates and some of the Dauntless-born initiates standing around the edge of the room. This is awesome, I am going to beat the crap out of Four in front of an audience. Then even the Dauntless-born will fear me. I couldn't have had this play out better if I had bullied people into for me.

Four enters the room and he looks even worse that he did lying on his bunk. It takes every ounce of energy I have to not start laughing at him. Amar is telling him to get his shit together and tie his shoelaces. Man this is going to be a blood bath by the time I finish with him. I crack my knuckles, great intimidation technique, and stare him down.

Amar steps back and I rush at Four and my fist hits him square on his jaw. Excellent start Eric, lets keep this up, he has stumbled back and is holding his face. I quickly follow with a kick that hits him hard in the ribs. "This is easier than I thought it would be," I tell him. Feeling pretty proud of my opening effort here.

Damn, he uppercuts me in my stomach, better not have that happen again. I respond by smacking my hand into his ear, he loses his balance and is using his fingers to keep himself from falling onto the ground. As he is trying to steady himself I say just loud enough for only Four to hear me, "You know, I think I've figured out your real name."

I swing my arm with as much force as I can, trying to have this fight finish as soon as possible, I'm trying for his face but he moves and I hit his collarbone instead. Shit that hurt like a bitch. I shake out my hand, trying to distract him from the pain I'm now in I say, "Should I tell them? Get everything out in the open?"

I have his name between my teeth, I'm about to say it when he grabs my arm. Fours whole demeanour has changed all I can see is rage in his eyes. I have only seen that look from one other person before, me. I know I'm in trouble now, I am bracing for the impact as he swings his fist into my face. I am stuck, I can't move he has a hold of me with one arm and his fist just keeps pounding into my face.

I am screaming now, I can't even think about how I am embarrassing myself with the screams that are coming from me. He doesn't stop pounding on me, he is relentless, I try to wrench away but I can't he is holding on to tight. I can feel the warmth of the blood that is oozing over my face, into my mouth. Blood has a horrible metallic like taste to it. I try to spit the blood out of my mouth and one of my teeth falls to the floor. I can't focus any more, he kicks me hard in the side and I topple over. He meets my eyes and although everything is starting to go blurry I can see the hate in his eyes. The rage I can see in his eyes is exactly how I feel about Four at this moment. I won't stop until I have brought him down I am thinking as I am being carried to the hospital. I'm going to have to come up with a new way to hurt him. Make him pay for making me look like a fool. I don't care how long it takes, I will get back at him.

 **FOUR POV**

After the fight I find myself in a hallway near the pit. I sit against the wall letting the cold from the stone creep into me. My headache has returned, as well as various aches and pains from the fight. My knuckles are tacky with Eric's blood, I try to rub it off but it's been dry to long.

Everything from my nightmare has been coming true, right down to the fight I have just had with Eric. Knowing what is going to happen makes everything so much harder this time around. I thought that knowing what was going to happen would make my life easier. But no, I still have to build relationships with the people around me. If only it had been different from what I had already experienced. You hear people say 'if I knew then what I know now, things may have turned out differently,' I can only hope that is what will happen now.

My thoughts are interrupted with Shauna knocking on the stone wall like it's a door. Shauna, who is going to become one of my closest friends, who if I can't stop what is going to happen will end up in a wheelchair. Will have to see friends and family die. I try to shake these thoughts from my head as she starts a conversation with me.

She wants me to help her to learn to fight better. Who knew that this is what made me want to become an initiate instructor. Helping her helped to change my whole life in dauntless, this is when I really started to become friends with Zeke and had all those nights just hanging with Shauna, not having to speak most of the time just enjoying each others company. As she walks away from me I stare down at Eric's blood on my knuckles and smile. Thinking to myself I can do this, I can make everything right, I can excel here at Dauntless and make changes for the better. Not only for Dauntless and the whole city, but also just maybe, for me as well.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 14**

 **FOUR POV**

Visiting Day was yesterday. Zekes' mum Hana invited me for lunch. I wasn't going to go until I saw Hana in the dining hall at breakfast. I'm glad I listened to her for when I got there I was greeted by Natalie dressed in Dauntless black. It was so strange seeing her that way but she explained that it was the easiest way to move around Dauntless without being recognised. Hana and Natalie knew each other back when Natalie was Dauntless.

It felt good to have someone come and see me, made me feel special, even though I knew that she had needed to update me on what she had been doing on her end to try and stop the war. Natalie still has this way of making you feel loved and wanted, I can see where Tris gets her strength for believing in people from. And also to let me know that I needed to take up any leadership position that may be offered to me. That I needed to put myself in the best position possible to get as much information as I could on what may be happening between Dauntless and Erudite.

Natalie had found out that my mother is in fact alive. She hadn't had contact with her yet. She wanted to know if I wanted her to know that I knew she was alive. I told Natalie to tell her I knew. One less conversation I had to have with my mother at this point. I'm not sure if I want contact at all, but I don't want to burn any bridges there, I may need them in the future. My mother has kept me waiting all these years, grieving for something that wasn't true. So now she can wait, it isn't going to hurt anything at this stage and although I know we have a chance to reconcile, I'm not ready to have to deal with any of that at the moment.

I explained how everything was coming true just like in the nightmare, that it was hard to remember not to give too much away as things happened. That it was hard having to rebuild relationships with people that I had known for over two years but who have no clue who I really am, or as much as I let them know who I am.

So now if I have Hana I can contact if I need to get any information to Natalie. Hana has asked that I come to the family dinner on Sundays with Zeke and Uriah. Now that Zeke won't be living at home Hana wants to keep the family as close as possible. The invite was extended to Shauna as well, which I know Zeke and Shauna aren't together yet but eventually they will get there. I wonder if Hana can see this happening in the future, she seems such a wise woman and she is so warm and loving. I'm really starting to feel like I'm giving myself more of a chance this time around in Dauntless. Letting my friends in just that little bit more, although I still have little pangs of guilt when I am sitting there watching Zeke and Uriah together. Remembering what happened to Uriah at the Bureau and the promise I hadn't kept to Zeke.

As Natalie said, these things haven't happened yet, I get the chance to try and make it right this time. I finally work up the courage to ask about Tris. Natalie doesn't have anything of importance that she can tell me. Just knowing she is safe is enough for now. Overall it was a nice day, much better day than I've ever had with my own family, and nothing like the lonely day I had the first time I experienced Visiting Day.

Simulations start today. My head feels like it will explode with the knowledge I have in it. Today was the day that Amar had the chat with me after I showed my divergence in my simulation. I don't know what to do, should I show my divergence so that everything stays the same as my nightmare? But isn't that what I'm trying to change, stop the war, stop the deaths. Or do I hide it now and keep both myself and Amar off Jeanine's radar? I know he finds love with George outside the fence. That thought then makes me think of Tori and the pain she is experiencing every day over her brothers faked death.

Some days the amount of information that is swirling around in my brain just hurts, like today. I think I'll try and talk to Hana about it, she is such a wise woman and so approachable. Hopefully she can help me, at least until I see Natalie again. Seeing Natalie while it was great and I always feel such warmth when I'm in her presence it just makes me ache for Tris. And the whole reason I need to stay focused is for Tris, well I hope it is. I still have doubts about whether she will come to Dauntless, will we have our time together or am I going to feel this emptiness in my heart forever.

With all those thoughts I decide that I need to hide my divergence from Amar. I need to keep as many people alive as I can, even if his death was faked.

I am lying on my bed in the dorm after I have finished my last fear simulation. Just trying to relax and wipe all thoughts of not only my fears but everything else that has been going on in my head. Zeke comes in and announces we are going to have a paintball fight in the pit similar to the one we had with capture the flag. This time there won't be any flags just the paintball guns. It's decided that we will use the same teams that were used for capture the flag. This should be fun, I good way to let off some steam and it means I'm on the opposite team to Eric again. Meaning it would give me great pleasure to beat him once again.

We all gather in the pit where Zeke has all the paintball guns and ammo and starts to hand them out. Tori is coming out of the tattoo parlour so Zeke convinces her to stay and count down the sixty seconds we all have to disperse before the game begins. We hear Tori yell time and the game has begun.

People have started to move out of the pit once they heard the paintball game had started and are now mostly on the upper levels watching the crazy initiates having some fun. I see someone from the opposing team run past my hiding spot so I get up from my crouched position and start to run after them. As I'm about to run past the dining hall I hear Eric yelling at me from behind. Trying to tell me that he is coming for me.

Just then the door of the dining hall opens and I run around the other side of the open door so he can't shoot me with the door blocking his shot. I hear three shots ring out, one hits the door just where my head would have been and the next two hit the person who was coming out of the dining hall. The person must be the oldest Dauntless member that I have ever seen, he would have to be well over sixty and is walking with a slight limp. He turns just as the paintballs hit him, one in the chest and one on his neck.

All of a sudden it is like everything is in slow motion as he clutches his chest and falls to the ground. The door to the dining hall shuts with a loud thud and standing between me and Eric is the man lying on the floor. We both drop our guns and bend down and you can see that the man has stopped breathing. "We need to get him to the infirmary", I say looking at Eric. As I go to pick up the man's legs Eric is just frozen on the spot. "Now Eric", I yell. This seems to wake him up and he grabs the man's shoulders and we run to the infirmary.

We sit in the waiting room waiting for news on what has happened. Guilt is racking my body, this didn't happen last time, this was all new, I wasn't prepared for this. Next thing Max has walked in, he looks at both Eric and I who are sitting on opposite sides of the waiting room and he walks up to the desk and talks to the nurse. I can't hear what they are saying but he is ushered back into the infirmary and we are left there to wait.

Zeke and Shauna walk into the waiting room, both covered in paint and smiling, telling me that our team had one. Just then Max walks out and every ones smiles fade. Max asks us to explain what happened, I explain how we were having a paintball fight when the man was accidently hit as he came out of the dining hall, now is not the time to point fingers at Eric, it could have been any one of us who had shot him. Max informs us that the man was one of our Leaders and that he had had a heart attack and died. The doctor told him that it could have happened at any time and that he shouldn't put blame on us as he believed the man was probably passed an acceptable age to still be in the Dauntless compound.

As we are walking out of the infirmary Max starts walking with me. "Four we need to talk about your future here in Dauntless, there is a Leadership position that is now open and if you rank first after your final test I would hope that you would seriously consider this position", Max says quietly so no one, I'm thinking it's probably Eric, can't hear us. I don't want to seem too eager so I nod and say, "Thank you for considering me Max, I will think about it and we can talk after the rankings have come out". Max nods and walks off.

It is all feeling a little surreal. While I know it was an accident, if Eric hadn't been trying to shoot me, this wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't be getting this opportunity. Go straight to leadership Four, no need for leader in training for you. I know I will take the position but I can't seem too eager to Max either. Plus it's another step closer to keeping my Tris safe and alive.

Zeke, Shauna and I decide to have an early dinner so we can get some rest before the final test tomorrow. We walk in silence to the dining hall. As we sit down with our plates filled with food and as always a piece of Dauntless cake, Zeke asks, "What did Max want?" I explain how he is going to offer me a leadership position if I'm ranked first tomorrow. Zeke and Shauna just nod and go back to eating their dinner. It always amazed me just how willing Dauntless-borns accepted their leaders decisions so easily but now I see it's because they aren't divergent and so they conform to exactly how the entire faction system has always wanted them too.


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 15**

 **FOUR POV**

As Shauna, Zeke and I let go of each other after our hug I feel a tap on my shoulder from Max. "You've placed first Four we need to talk", he tells me. He motions with a slight nod of his head to follow him. I raise an eyebrow to my friends and follow Max out of the dining hall and into the elevator up to the tenth floor.

Max doesn't say anything until we are inside his office, "Four you have done Dauntless proud with your results during initiation. I am hoping you have had time to think about the position I am offering you?" I just nod, I still feel I need to show restraint, I don't want to seem too keen to Max. "Have you made a decision?" He asks. "Yes I have. I would like to take you up on your offer Max but I would also like to have the opportunity to train initiates as well".

Max doesn't answer me straight away, He appears a little shocked that I would want such a role. "Well Amar has expressed stepping down from the role, I haven't had a chance to consider a replacement as yet. You will still have leadership duties to perform while you are training initiates but I think it could work. Come let me show you your office and then I can show you your apartment."

Leaders' apartments are in a different wing to the rest of Dauntless and compared to the room I had in my nightmare they live in a lot more luxury than I am accustomed too. As Max opens the door to my new apartment I can see a smile on his face as my jaw drops. The front door is on the left hand side of the apartment, as I walk into the entryway I have to walk to my right to see past the entryway and into the apartment. Here is my lounge room. On the same wall as the door there is a large entertainment unit. As I turn to look further into the lounge room I see two three seater couches one is facing away from the open plan office that is behind the entryway wall and the other is facing away from the dining room. There is a large square coffee table that sits between the couches. Already set up in the office space is an executive style desk with a computer on it. We didn't have a computer in the house in Abnegation, even with Marcus being the leader.

Next to the office there are stairs, which I am assuming will lead to the bedrooms upstairs. Behind the stairs, across from the dining room is a kitchen. Walking down the hall from the kitchen there is a bedroom on the left and a bathroom on the right. The bathroom is fitted with toilet, shower, basin and a laundry.

"I'll leave you to get comfortable", Max says. "You will also find three bedrooms, and two bathrooms upstairs Four. It may look a little big but I'm sure eventually you will find the right woman and want to settle down." With that he leaves me and I run up the stairs to see just how much bigger this place really is.

I can't believe my eyes as I walk up the stairs, this place is huge. What am I going to do with three bathrooms and four bedrooms. I walk into the main bedroom to find there is a walk in robe and ensuite. I then find the other two bedrooms which have a shared bathroom. I run my hand through my hair trying to come to terms with where I will be living.

I return back downstairs and decide that it will be easier to just live in the downstairs part of the apartment for now. It is going to take some time to become comfortable living here. After living for sixteen years in Abnegation this will take a lot of getting used to. I quickly go back down to the dorms to retrieve the small amount of belongings I have.

As I was walking through my apartment I noted that there was what looked like to be brand new linen on all the beds, the bathrooms were all fully stocked with new towels, soaps and shampoos. Someone had even filled my fridge.

The next morning I wake up early and decide to go for a run. As I exit the compound and start my run I see Eric exiting the compound at the same time. As much as I can't stand the guy it looks like he has the same idea as I do. As I start to run Eric starts to fall into step with me.

"You know I hate you Stiff", Eric says.

I just shrug with a smirk on my face, I don't care what he thinks of me. He isn't in a position to cause me any trouble at this point. I know he is having to go through the leadership in training program, that he isn't guaranteed the position yet and that he would be seething about my position.

When we arrive back at the Dauntless compound we walk our separate ways. Eric calls out, "same time tomorrow?" I just nod and walk back to my apartment. We may not like each other, probably like is too nice a word for how either of us feel about the other, but at least this way he may slip up on what his future plans are.

The runs become a daily ritual for me. Eric isn't as committed as I am, he is there most days, it seems that the reason he usually isn't around for the morning run is either alcohol, woman or a combination of both. The total disrespect he has for woman is verbalised often enough. I think he tells me what he thinks just because he knows it makes me so uncomfortable.

 **ERIC POV**

I love goading Four on our morning runs. Love seeing how uncomfortable he is when I talk about the women I've banged. It makes me want to laugh in his face and tell him just how stupid his old factions ways are, especially with the way he acts like he is still in abnegation when it comes to women. He could probably have almost as many women as me if he tried, but that just means more for me, so I just settle for watching him squirm.

"Another piercing I see," Four says as we start our run. It's not often that he even bothers to start I conversation. So I'll go with it.

"Yeah," I reply. Is it not obvious I think to myself. This is my fifth piercing in my lip and they have all hurt like a bitch. I think this one maybe infected.

"So that would mean another one night stand," he says with a smirk on his face.

I chuckle at this comment, "I would have a lot more piercings if it was for every woman I've banged Four."

"Ah, so it's only for the women I've rejected that you get the piercings for is it?" he asks.

"How," I stop the rest of the sentence from coming out of my mouth. Bastard, how the fuck did he know that is the reason I keep getting these piercings. It's my way of shoving it in his face that I can have those women too. Although I never planned on telling him that.

I'm still feeling hung over from last night and didn't really want to run today but I've missed the last three mornings because of my night time activities. I'll show him, so I pick up the pace, I'm not going to let him see that he has gotten to me this morning. He's just running with this stupid smirk on his face, like he is better than me. What an idiot, I'm the one getting all the action, I should be the one with a smile on my face. I probably would be if the women of Dauntless weren't a bunch of baboons, so easy to get what you want out of them. I pick up the pace and keep running as hard and as fast as I can. The sooner I get this over with the better.

When we get back I see him turn and go through the door that leads to the Leaders apartments. I hate him so much. I stop now that he isn't here. I can hardly breath, the run has taken everything out of me this morning and then I throw up. I'm glad no one is around to see that. I really need to learn to control my liquor more if I want to show him up. No, that ain't gonna be happening anytime soon, I wonder which whore I can hook up with tonight.


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 16**

 **FOUR POV**

I've found working as a leader to have its benefits. Once I finally got my head around how inefficiently the Dauntless leaders actually work, I was able to take advantage of this. Dauntless leaders want to do as little work as they can, which means for someone like me I could take on extra responsibilities and find out a lot more information than I would have thought possible.

Max has noticed that I'm exceptionally good with computers and for that he has put me in charge of making sure the computers for the Dauntless leaders are running smoothly. It also means that I've been able to mirror each leaders computer onto my own. I can now check their communications without fear of being detected.

It also means I am free to roam Dauntless through the day without any one questioning why I'm not at work. Zeke has a day shift in the control room today, which means as a leader I should really go and make sure our cities cameras are working. I'm sure it helps that I know Zeke will be bored out of his brain so I can go in there have a chat and pretend that I'm checking that everything is running smoothly.

I'm sitting with Zeke just randomly chatting when I notice the camera in front of the school comes up on his screen. Tris. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before, I can still see her even if it is only on screen.

"Hey, go back will you," I ask Zeke.

"Did you see something?" he asks.

"No, I just want to check everything is okay with the kids coming out of school, we are always getting reports of trouble between the factions at school," nice save I think. Lucky for me Zeke isn't the type that would think it's out of the ordinary.

I'm watching the front of the school checking more closely every time I see a girl in grey walk out the doors. Zeke points out Uriah, Marlene and Lynn walking out the doors, they're laughing and start to run towards the train. Uriah is tripped by Lynn and nose dives into the cement, this has Zeke in a fit of laughter. But I'm not taking any notice, my eyes aren't leaving the screen now as Tris has just walked out the front doors. She has Caleb in front of her and he is turning to say something to her, she doesn't seem to be taking notice to what he is saying and he starts to pull her arm like he is trying to get her to hurry up. As Tris is walking past where Uriah is still sprawled on the ground with Marlene and Lynn laughing at him she picks up a book that has come out of Uriah's' bag and passes it to him. Uriah grabs the book from Tris without even looking at her. It is amazing what a change of clothing will do in just under two years time to Tris and Uriah's' relationship.

Once Tris is has moved out of camera shot I say farewell to Zeke thinking I will have to come down here more often. I just hope I'm not turning into crazy stalker material. It has put me in a good mood until I get back up to my office. I walk into my office and Jeanine Matthews is sitting in my chair. This can't be good.

"Tobias Eaton, how are you? I am Jeanine Matthew leader of Erudite."

"I know who you are Jeanine and my name is Four," I say as nicely as I can, it still comes out abrupt. "What can I do for you today?"

"Well Four, I wanted to come down here and introduce myself to you and offer you a hand of friendship," Jeanine responds in a sickly smooth voice.

"I'm happy with the friends I have Jeanine so it would be best if you just got to the point of why you are in my office, sitting in my chair," I respond.

A flicker of contempt flashes before Jeanine's' eyes before she responds, "I think we both know that it would be in your best interest for you to act a little more cordially towards a fellow leader Four."

"And why is that Jeanine?" I ask. My patience is starting to wear thin.

"I've seen your fear landscape Four, I would hate for that information to become public knowledge, wouldn't you?" she responds with a fake smile.

"What is it that you really want Jeanine? I have better things to do than play games with you today."

"I think we both know that Eric should have the position you now have. I would appreciate it if you went to Max and told him you think Eric is doing a great job and that he should be the only person in line for the next leadership position, not have him jumping through hoops with these other trainees," she has now gotten to the point.

All the things that Jeanine had done in my nightmare comes flashing through my mind, I would like nothing more that to jump over my desk and strangle the life out of this woman. I wonder how she blackmailed Max into following her. She makes me sick.

"Jeanine I think you are going to do whatever you want whether I go to Max on not. So I think you should do whatever helps you to sleep better at night." And with this I walk out of my office and decide the training room is the safest place for me to be at the moment.

I haven't heard anything else from Jeanine in the last week, so I'm hoping it was just some idol threat and that she will find someone else to harass. I am walking past Max's office when I see Jeanine sitting across from Max. I slow as I'm walking past hoping I can hear what they are saying.

"I've narrowed it down to five," Max is saying. "I'd say that's pretty good."

"This is inefficient," Jeanine says. "We already have the candidate. I ensured it. This was the plan. He should have got the position you gave to Four and then we wouldn't be having to have this conversation."

"There is no way I would give the second ranked initiate a role over the first ranked initiate especially when they deserved the position. I can't justify giving him a role when he practically murder the the person who held the position. Maybe you should have picked your candidate a little more thoroughly," Max replies.

"We both know that was an accident and you also know that person was happy to go along with our plans. Can you say that Four is going to be that cooperative?"

"You need to leave my people to me Jeanine, stay out of it," Max is starting to get angry now.

"You better," Jeanine replies and gets up and leaves the office.

I moved quickly down the corridor and into my own office before Jeanine had left Max.

I hear a knock on my door and now have Jeanine walking into my office. "Last chance Four, talk to Max or I will have that information leaked," Jeanine says.

"Do what you want Jeanine, I have more important things to deal with than your threats," I reply as I stand and walk past her and out of my office and off to the control room.

I walk into the control room and Zeke has a big grin on his face. This can't be good, what crazy stunt is he going to try to get me into today?

"Hey Four, how are you man?" Zeke asks.

"I'm good Zeke, you?"

"Well, I have a favour to ask," he replies. This can't be good.

"I have this date with Maria tonight and I told her you would double with us with her friend Nicole."

"No way, there is no way I am going on a double date with you Zeke. You may be my best friend but you are going to have to find someone else," I tell him. "Now can you bring up the camera outside the school, they're about to get out for the day."

Zeke brings up the feed from the camera in front of the school and I sit down next to him and wait to see Tris come out the doors. Kids start to walk out of the front doors of the school when all of a sudden a fight has broken out. This gets Zekes' attention and he is cheering on the Dauntless kid who is having a fight with a Candor, Peter. I'm not really paying attention to the fight on screen as Tris has just walked into view and all I can do is stare at her. I miss her so much. It feels like forever since I got to speak to her, even longer since I got to hold her. Instead of going through my fear landscape daily, I'm now torturing myself through watching her on screen for a few brief seconds on school days.

Tris walks off screen and I start to rise from my chair. Zeke looks at me suspiciously and then he says, "Hey, what is going on with you? You weren't even watching the fight. You come down here every day and watch the kids come out of school. You say you're looking for trouble and then when there is some you ignore it. What is going on?"

"It's nothing Zeke, don't worry about it." I reply.

"It's a girl isn't it? I've seen you, it's the same little blonde. As soon as you've seen her you leave. You won't go on any dates that I set up for you so it has to be the blonde. What gives?"

Damn, I'm busted. "I'm not talking to you about this Zeke, it isn't important, just let it go," I say, knowing that I won't be able to make it a daily visit to the control room to see Tris for awhile. "Have fun on your date tonight," I call over my shoulder as I walk out the door before he can say anything else to me. Hopefully he'll start thinking about his date tonight and forget that he busted me. I think I'll blow the rest of the afternoon off and just go to the training room.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 17**

 **FOUR POV**

I have started having lunch with Max in his office on Fridays. The kitchen sends up this huge feast for the two of us and we always get a large serving of Dauntless cake. It's the safest place to eat the cake, when you are in the dining hall if you turn your head you will usually find Uriah has stolen and eaten your piece of cake before you even notice it's gone. So it means at least one meal a week I am guaranteed a full piece of cake. It also means there are left overs, so instead of having to go down for dinner in the dining hall on a Friday night I can sit at home and not have to worry about Zeke trying to force me onto one of his double dates or have some woman try to hit on me.

Lunch with Max is usually just a catch up of what has been happening in the week at Dauntless. We are sitting having our usual chat and Eric storms into the office. "Max I really need to talk to you," Eric demands.

"I'm extremely busy Eric it will just have to wait," Max replies. Eric looks from Max to me and sees the food spread out on the table and can see just how not busy we both are.

"This is important Max," Eric says just as demanding as his first words were as he entered Max's office.

"Then come see me on Monday Eric, we can have a chat then. It's Friday and I am currently in a meeting with Four then I am going to start my weekend."

Leaders usually don't do any work on a Friday afternoon, especially Max. If a problem comes up on the weekend I or one of the other leaders tries to deal with it before interrupting Max. Max doesn't want to know about it unless someone has been murdered or jumped of the chasm.

"Jeanine won't be happy," Eric replies and storms out of the office in a huff.

Max looks at me and starts to laugh. "I love pissing him off, he thinks he's so important because he is Jeanine's' lackey. If only they knew I'm playing them both until I have enough evidence to take it to the other faction leaders."

I'm shocked. This is the best news I could have heard. Does this mean that Max is helping to bring Jeanine down? I just stare at Max not knowing what to say, when he turns to me and says, "I've been talking to Natalie Prior. Her mother used to be a leader here in Dauntless. I've known Natalie a long time."

"We are going to have to sit on this for a while longer though Four, I have information on Jeanine but I want to make sure I have enough not only on Jeanine but Eric as well. I want to make sure that we get them both and hopefully anyone else that is working with them. I take pride in being Dauntless and I don't like people trying to come in and take that away," he says.

"I'm glad you told me Max," are the only words I can get out. I am so relieved to hear that Max is on our side. He may act like a typical Dauntless but it seems there may be more to Max than I first thought.

"It seems we may also have Natalie's daughter join us in a couple of years time as well. Two Abnegation transfers in a few years, that is unheard of," he says with a smile on his face.

I blush at his comment and give a small smile and say, "I hope so Max, I really hope so."

Monday morning there is a note on my desk to join Max in his office as soon as I get in. I wonder if this has anything to do with Eric's interruption of our lunch on Friday. I walk into Max's office to find Jeanine, Jack Kang from Candor, Johanna Reyes from Amity and Andrew Prior from Abnegation sitting with Max in his office. "Come in Four we need to have a chat," Max says. This can't be good. After the introductions are made Max turns to me and says, "Four we have had a breach of our security and someone has sent a copy of your fear landscape to the other factions leaders."

I can feel my blood beginning to boil, Jeanine has made good on her promise. I turn to Jeanine pointing my finger and yell, "you did this."

Max gives me a look to say shut up, that I need to stay calm. I know I need to try and stay calm there is too much at stake for me to be going off the deep end. But I am really angry. I thought she might put something in the Erudite newspaper, but this. I know I have to try and calm down. I know I have to play along with this. I can't let Jeanine think that Max is anything but faithful to her cause.

Jack rises from his chair and says, "now Four we don't have any proof to who has sent this. It seems to have been sent anonymously. We need you to tell us if what we saw in the video is true. If it is true we can have something done about this, child abuse is a very serious crime."

"Mr Kang I appreciate your concern, I really do, but I will not be making any comments on what you have seen in my fear landscape. This is a private matter and I will not be speaking with you or anyone else about it," I say. I then walk out of the room, into my office and slam the door.

If I could kill Jeanine right now I would. It had to be Jeanine who sent the information, she is trying to destabilise Abnegation so that she has an excuse to attack. I'm not going to play into her hands, plus I don't want people to know who I am, that I'm related to that monster.

There is a soft knock on my door. I open the door to see Andrew standing on the other side. I motion for him to come in and close the door. "How are you Tobias?" he asks.

I almost smile when he says this. It seems like such a stupid question but at the same time I know he is genuinely asking if I'm okay. "I'm fine Andrew, I had been waiting for something like this. Jeanine had threaten to tell people about it. I would ask though that you call me Four. People don't know who I am here other than Max and Amar and I would really like to keep it that way. I don't want anyone to associate me with Marcus. And I am sure that Jeanine is going to find a way for the information to reach the public about the abuse I suffered. I couldn't stand to have people start to pity me," I tell him.

Andrew agrees to call me Four. "Four, we may need to use this information about Marcus in the future. You may have to accept that we have no choice but to use it. I'm sure Jeanine isn't going to stop. I think she will get worse before we can make things better", Andrew tells me. I just nod, I know that I have to think of the greater good, but I vow to myself I will try to stop it. What a way to start my week. I hope it gets better from here.

I have been in Dauntless for almost a year. I start training my first bunch of initiates in two weeks time. Amar has given me training and he has agreed to be there if I need any help. A lot will depend on how many transfers we get.

I'm having my usual Friday lunch with Max when he says, "we are having more trouble at the high school. They are demanding cameras in the hallways and more cameras outside. It seems Erudites reports about Abnegation are stirring a lot of the students up. There have been a lot more fights lately. I need you to go and see what you can do to calm the principal down. Take someone from the control room, see what they think about adding more cameras. I doubt it will do any good, it's not like we are going to lock them up for a school yard scuffles. Take another person from patrol with you, maybe if they see a few Dauntless with guns it will scare their arses into line."

"That sounds like a good plan Max, I'll organise it for early next week," I say. Thinking maybe I'll get really lucky and see Tris while I am there.

I go down to the control room to find out when Zeke is working next week, may as well take my friends with me, Zeke will just be happy to get out of work for a few hours and I'll go and talk to Shauna later and work something out with her boss so she can come along too. She is in the patrol leadership program so there won't be any problem with her coming along with us.

 **A/N**

 **Again I would like to thank everyone for giving me such great reviews. I can't respond to any guest reviewer privately so I need to give a big shout out to all of you for giving such positive feed back. Although I do feel I need to comment on the review that I received from LaaurenEller:**

 _ **LaaurenEller:I'm liking this story so far but you, like many others, seem to be confusing the fear simulation and aptitude test. During the aptitude test, you are aware because you must make choices conciously. In the fear simulations, you aren't aware because this simulation is for your instincts. I hope this helped. :-)**_

 **I would love for you to go back and read Divergent, specifically page 257. Here you will read that if you are a divergent you are aware during the fear simulation and can manipulate it. I'm sure if this doesn't clear things up for you I could find other examples of people being aware through the fear simulations. How else do you think they can tell when someone is divergent? It is in their fear landscape.**


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 18**

 **FOUR POV**

I have just jumped from the train with Shauna and Zeke, we are heading towards the high school.

"I forgot how much I hated this place," Zeke says, he almost sounds scared to go in there.

Shauna starts to laugh at him, "Why did you come then?"

"It got me out of the control room for a while, who wouldn't want to get out of that box with all its screens?" Zeke replies.

"Maybe you should have picked a different job. I told you my job would be more interesting because I get to be outside'" Shauna tells Zeke.

"Yeah like you aren't complaining all winter about how cold it is when you are trudging through all that ice and snow," Zeke says laughing at Shauna. He gives her a hug and we walk through the doors and into the school.

"We better go see the principal first, I have no idea where his office is," I say.

"I'll show you, I think I spent more time there than in class," Zeke says, and we follow him down the hall to the principal's office.

"Do you want to stay out here Zeke? I'll go in and tell him we are here and what we are doing." I'm hoping that both Shauna and Zeke will stay outside, I don't want the principal to say my real name if he recognises me.

"Thanks Four, I don't think I want to go in there ever again and I'm sure he wouldn't want to see me either," Zeke says with a laugh.

"I'll wait with Zeke, I spent quite a few days in there myself and would rather not be in there either," Shauna says.

I knock on the door that says Principal and walk in the door. "Hi I'm Four, I've come to discuss the recent fights that have been occurring at the school." I reach out my hand to shake the principal's hand. I haven't ever been in this office before but I can understand why Zeke and Shauna didn't want to be in here. The room has a really bad feel to it, maybe it's just that it is run by Erudite, I don't know but I will be glad to get out of here.

"Do I know you Four? You look familiar to me, have you always been Dauntless?" He asks me. Always wanting to know everything, typical Erudite.

"I don't think that's relevant sir, I think we should just get to the point of discussing what you think is needed for the school," I say with confidence, I want him to know the conversation about me is over and for him to get to the point.

"Well Four we have been having a lot more fights break out recently, especially with the older children. I was hoping that Dauntless could step in, put some more cameras around the school, it is mainly Dauntless children that we are having the problems with. You know how they like to fight?"

This makes me angry, the Dauntless usually fight amongst themselves for fun. If they are fighting with kids from other factions I know, because I talked to Uriah about it before I came, it's to stick up for someone who has been bullied. I try to choose my words carefully, "I think we both know that the Dauntless born usually only fight between themselves and it's more of a game to them. They don't go around just beating on random children from other factions."

"Well that may have been the case before but it has been getting out of control." Listening to this man is so annoying, typical Erudite blame everyone else. It's his job to control the students, why should we take resources away from areas that need our help.

"So what is it that you would like Dauntless to do exactly?" I ask.

"I talked to Max, I asked him to put more cameras up, isn't that what you are here to do?" he asks me. I think he is trying to intimidate me by bringing Max's name into the conversation but that isn't going to help his cause.

So I say, "I and my two colleagues outside are here to assess the situation, see if it is worth putting more cameras in the school. We also need to think about who is going to man these new cameras, I don't see it as being cost effective to one, install more cameras and secondly, have to staff people to watch the cameras. This is a school, what punishment would you like us to enforce. From where I am sitting we don't have any jurisdiction over punishment in the school."

"I would think you would want the children to be able to get along now while they are still in school Four, so that when they become members of their chosen faction that they are able to interact with others productively."

"Well Sir I think that you should probably start with your own faction. Erudite are the faction who produces the newspaper for this city. And it seems that the more that Erudite try to destable the other factions with their false reporting the more trouble you are having in your school," I have raised my voice just a little now and I can see he is shocked. I decide I need to end this conversation quickly before I get to angry. I know the reports coming out of Erudite aren't his fault but Jeanine had them print a story on my relationship with Marcus, telling the world of the abuse. So I quickly add, "I will take a tour of the school with my colleagues and I will send you my findings in a report." At least if I type up a report for him I don't have to speak to this man again.

I walk out of the principal's office and see Shauna and Zeke making out in the hallway. "Seriously you couldn't wait until we left this place," I say. I'm laughing as I say it.

"How did it go?" Zeke asks.

"The guys a pansycake, but I said we'd check out the school for possible places to put cameras. So lets just wander around here for a bit and waste some time before we have to get back. I need to at least get a general idea of the place again so if anyone asks I sound like I know what I'm talking about," I reply. I can't believe I used the word pansycake, I've been listening to Uriah too much.

We wander the halls for about twenty minutes and I can see Zeke starting to get bored now. He really doesn't like this place.

"Come on Four, can we just go now?" Zeke whines.

I'm about to answer when the bell rings and kids start walking out of the classrooms. I stop to let the kids past me but Zeke and Shauna just plough straight through them. I am chuckling to myself thinking just how much my Abnegation is showing, that I would stop and let these kids go before me, just like I did when I was in school. Then it happens.

All of a sudden I see grey clothes almost flying through the air. My reflexes are quick and I catch her in my arms before she can fall to the ground. I put her on her feet and make sure she is able to stand when I finally look at her. And there are those beautiful grey blue eyes that I have missed so much.

"Tobias," she whispers.

"Tris, are you okay? Did someone push you?" I ask.

"No, I'm just really clumsy," she half laughs.

I can't stop staring, I still have my hand on her back and I'm holding her arm, I can't seem to move, it's like I'm frozen. Then I hear Zeke.

"Four, come on, lets get out of here," he yells out at me.

"I'll be there in a sec," I call back

"Four?" Tris questions me.

"It's the name I go by in Dauntless," I reply.

"Oh," is her reply.

"How are you Tris?" I ask.

Just as Tris is about to answer Zeke yells at me again.

"I better go, it was really good seeing you Tris," I say, not wanting to move, really not able to move, I would love nothing more than to take her in my arms and hug her and then the bell rings.

"I have to get to class, bye Four," she says while smiling at me, and with that she is gone in a sea of kids all rushing to their classes.

I walk up to Zeke and Shauna and see that Uriah, Marlene and Lynn are now standing with them as well.

"Man, what is wrong with you, can we just get out of this place?" Zeke says.

I start walking with them when I hear a familiar voice, Christina, she is with a bunch of Candor kids. I cannot believe how loud she is. I thought she was loud when she got to Dauntless but from what I can hear, she really toned down to what she is right now. Well hopefully I'll get to scare her half to death next year if she comes to Dauntless. I really got to like her as a friend last time but I couldn't stand to have to deal with the Christina I am seeing now, I would have a permanent migraine. I shake my head and keep walking.

When I reach Zeke and the others Zeke turns to me and says, "Shit, that was the girl! That was the girl on the screen in the control room."

Shauna screams with excitement, "what! What is this about Four and a girl?"

"No way, Four has a crush?" asks Uriah.

"Shouldn't you three be in class or something?" I say in my scary voice to Uriah, Marlene and Lynn, hoping that this will change the subject.

"We wouldn't be Dauntless if we didn't cut class Four. It's last period for the day we may as well travel back with you guys," Uriah says.

"You know I'm a leader right? Not the person to be cutting classes around," I say with a smile on my face. If they travel back with us I am less likely to have to tell Zeke about Tris.

"I'll give you my Dauntless cake for a week if you don't say anything," Uriah responds.

"You must really hate school to be giving me your cake, but don't worry I won't take it. Someone might try to say you're bribing an official if I accept it," I say laughing.

"Yeah well I'm not an official so you can hand the cake over to me little brother," Zeke says.

"No way, what are you going to be able to do about it anyway?" Uriah challenges Zeke.

"Who's the person your most scared of in this whole world Uriah?" Zeke asks with a smirk on his face.

"You wouldn't," Uriah gasps.

"Sure will little brother. A week of Dauntless cake or I tell mum!" Zeke now has a big grin on his face as he says this.

"Okay," Uriah whispers, completely defeated.

We all start laughing and run to get onto the train that will get us back to the Dauntless compound. I stand in the door way of the train letting the wind blow over me thinking of Tris and how happy it made me to see her today. Just one more year I'm thinking with a smile on my face.

"She must be pretty important," Shauna whispers in my ear so that no one else can hear. "I've never seen you even look at a girl before Four, is she the reason why?"

I just nod, I would love to tell Shauna all about her, but I can't. "I'm here if you ever want to talk," Shauna says. I just nod again. The best thing about Shauna is that she doesn't push you for answers, she will let you just sit there in complete silence or listen when you need her too. I spend the rest of the trip back to Dauntless just looking out of the train, content that I at least got to see Tris today.


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 19**

 **FOUR POV**

When we get back to Dauntless I go straight to my apartment. I don't feel like writing up my report for that stupid snot nosed Erudite principal. He can wait a few days, I'm not going to be giving him more cameras in his school, he can work the problems out for himself. I'm lying on the couch when I hear a knock at my door.

I get up and walk over to the door and when I open it I see Zeke with a case of beer staring back at me. "You need to tell me what is up with you and that girl man. And what better way than with some alcohol in you," Zeke says.

I shake my head as I let him in the apartment. "I don't want the alcohol Zeke." Maybe if I get him drunk enough he won't remember what I'm about to tell him.

We both sit down and he is looking around the room, I haven't had anyone in my place, "Wow, so this is what it looks like in a leader's apartment," he says.

I just laugh. I hope he doesn't tell the others or he will be wanting me to host his parties from now on, with how much room there is in here he would probably try to invite the whole of Dauntless..

"So, come on man, spill," Zeke says

I have to choose my words carefully, I can't let him know about the war, Uriah and I definitely don't want to have to explain Marcus to him. So although my story has a lot of holes in it, I give him an overview of everything I can about Tris and how in the dream we fell in love and that in the end she had died. How gut wrenching it was to see her dead and that the next moment I was being woken up by Natalie because my father hadn't been able to wake me. I have tears in my eyes by now and it is taking every ounce of control not to start crying.

Lucky for me Zeke has had a lot to drink by now so I'm sure he wouldn't see even if I did cry. I then explain how Natalie thought it would be better if I stayed at her place that night. I explained that my father had some sort of business to attend to the next day and Natalie thought it would be better that I was at her place so I wouldn't disrupt my father's sleep. Zeke accepted this and never asked me who or what my father did. I think he knows me well enough now, that he knows I wouldn't tell him anyway.

I then explain what happened that night at the Prior house with Tris and the next day before the Choosing Ceremony. Zeke just sits there for a while and then he says, "That is insane, dude really, I'm sure she's coming to Dauntless because neither of you fit into Abnegation with your behaviour."

I laugh at this, trust Zeke to only take notice of the fact that we slept together on the lounge. "I hope so Zeke, I really hope so."

"Four there is nothing to worry about, I saw the way you both looked at each other today. You two have a connection. I better get going Shauna is going to wonder where I got to, I didn't tell her I was coming here." Zeke gets up to leave and as he opens the door he turns and says, "Your secrets safe. Whenever you have the need to see her, come down to the control room and I will find her for you."

"Thanks Zeke, you're a good friend," I say. I lock the door and go to bed.

I get up the next morning and I open my door to go for my morning run when I see a package on my doorstep. I open the package and find a note saying. _Only one more year, Z_. I move the note and see that there is a photo frame with a photo of Tris in it. Zeke must have gone to the control room after he left my place last night and searched through footage and printed the photo off for me. Well he wasn't as drunk as I thought he was but I don't care today, at least now I have a photo of Tris and I feel better for telling Zeke about her. I wish I could have told him more but I don't think that would be a good idea, not yet anyway.

I go on my morning run and find Eric in a good mood for a change. I know why, today he is becoming a leader of Dauntless. No more leader in training, I am not looking forward to having to deal with him as an equal. He is so arrogant about it, it's not like he has any friends in Dauntless, and most people are scared of him. He is going to be a nightmare now he is leader, I just hope he doesn't cause too many problems.

Visiting Day has just finished. I spent the day at Hana's with Zeke and Uriah. Natalie came again like last year. It was so good to see her. I'm now sitting in my apartment holding an envelope that Natalie had given to me. She told me it was a letter from my mother. I have been sitting here for over an hour just staring at the envelope. Part of me wants to open it, another part of me wants to put it in a draw and forget about it. I'm even tempted to burn it.

I'm angry that she left me, that she let me grieve for all those years. I know how it might turnout from my nightmare. But I don't know if I really want to take that chance and if I do, with the changes we are trying to make, will she stay the woman who still wants to take over the whole faction system. I slowly open the envelope and start to read what she has written.

 _Dear Tobias_

 _I'm sorry I'm not the one to have told you that I'm alive. I wasn't aware that you were told that I had died. I believed Marcus would have told you the truth. Natalie didn't give me any information to how you found out only that you knew. And I am sorry._

 _I hope that one day you can forgive me for leaving you in that house with Marcus. I honestly never thought that he would do the things he has done to you. I thought you would be safer with him, rather than to live with me factionless._

 _I know that you chose Dauntless and that you are a leader. But there are things that you don't know about the faction you have chosen. Our city is changing, the factionless are coming together, I am now a sort of leader for them._

 _I am hoping you will think about joining me and the factionless. I know this is a lot to ask but I would hope that you would consider giving me a second chance. At least to come and see me, talk._

 _I know you can get word to me through Natalie. I hope that one day very soon we can be reunited._

 _Mum_

I crumple the letter up and throw it on the coffee table. I am glad she is alive, I'm sorry that Marcus did the things he did to her. It seems almost comical that it really was her that told me she was alive, even if it was a dream. But it still brings up the same hurt and anger I felt the first time I found out that she was alive. I know that in the end she chose me over domination of the city, but I never found out how that went. Would it work out? If I stop the war, will she and her factionless army still try to take over the city? Do I contact her? Should I go and see her? All these questions and more are running through my head. I know I won't sleep so I head down to the training room to try and work off some of my tension.


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 20**

 **FOUR POV**

Time is moving quickly for me here in Dauntless. Initiation was gone in a flash and now it's only six months until the next group of initiates will be here, and hopefully Tris. I spend my days in a comfortable routine. Morning run, work and then training room at night. I have Sunday lunches at Zeke's mums place with Uriah, Zeke and Shauna. Zeke and Shauna are finally dating so I don't have to worry about Zeke trying to get me on any double dates. Plus now that he knows about Tris he knows I'm not going to be looking at any other girls anyway.

I sent my mother a brief note. Told her I'm glad she's not dead but that I am happy where I am for now and that I will contact her when I'm ready. It was a brief note I'm not ready to go down that path just yet. I need to deal with Marcus first. I've been putting off having to see him. Not all leaders of Dauntless have to attend the monthly council meetings. We try to rotate who is there so that we always have someone back at the compound. I usually only try to go if I know Marcus isn't going to be there. But I know that eventually we will have to cross paths.

I am sitting in my office thinking through my thoughts when there is a knock at the door.

"Hello Four," Hana says smiling, as she enters the room.

I get up from my seat and give her a hug and motion for her to sit. "Thank you but this is just a quick visit, Natalie and Andrew would like to meet with you as soon as possible," she says.

This takes me by surprise I have only seen Natalie on visiting days since I have been here. All my correspondence with Natalie has been through Hana. I haven't been to the last few council meetings so I haven't seen Andrew. It must be important for them to both want to see me.

"Okay, Hana. Do you know when and where they want this to happen?" I ask.

"You may want to sit down for this Four," Hana replies.

I go and sit in my chair and Hana says, "Four they want to meet you tonight at your fathers' house."

"What? You have got to be kidding me?" I say trying to keep calm but failing miserably.

"Four I know this is going to be difficult for you but it needs to be done. Marcus won't step down as leader of Abnegation and he is still pushing to have the Edith Prior video released. Natalie needs you to come and help her and Andrew to stop him.

"How do I do that Hana? We hate each other, he isn't going to listen to me. And I don't know how I feel about being in that house with him. I don't know if I can do this."

Hana smiles at me and says, "Four you are one of the strongest people I know. I also know that you can do this. I believe in you and so does Natalie and Andrew. They would not ask you to do this if they didn't think you could. It is time to stand tall, it is time to be Dauntless. You can do this, you're not the boy that left Abnegation, you're a Dauntless leader now."

I nod my head to Hana and we both rise from our seats, she walks over to me and gives me a hug and whispers, "do this for your girl," and with that she walks out of my office.

I jump from the train and I am walking towards my fathers' house when I see Natalie and Andrew. Natalie smiles and after greetings we walk up to my fathers' door. Andrew knocks on the door, he and Natalie are standing at the door and I am behind them out of view when Marcus opens the door.

Marcus invites them in. As they step through the door way Marcus finally sees me. "What are you doing here? You're no longer welcome in this house," he says to me.

"I don't care," I say as I push past him and into the house. I walk inside and a flood of emotion comes over me. It looks exactly as it did eighteen months ago. I walk further into the house and I turn to look at Marcus, Natalie and Andrew. Unlike when I was standing outside the house, I now have my Four mask on, Four the initiate instructor, Four the Dauntless leader. Gone is the scared boy from Abnegation, don't get me wrong he is still here, but I am not going to let Marcus see that. Not now, not ever again.

I can see by the way that Marcus looks at Natalie that he would like nothing better than to beat her as he had me and my mother. The look is there in his eyes. He smiles at Andrew and gestures for us to sit in the lounge room, the smile doesn't reach his eyes. We all sit and Marcus says, "So what do I owe the pleasure of this visit Andrew?" Marcus definitely has his mask on too.

It seems he is going to try and ignore that both Natalie and I are sitting in the room with him. Does he think that Andrew doesn't see through his manipulative ways? That he wouldn't know what Marcus had done to both myself and Evelyn. Marcus has always thought that he was better than everyone else, that everything, even the beatings he has given, he did for the persons own good.

"We need to talk about your position Marcus," Andrew replies.

"I don't think that such matters should be discussed in front of your wife or a faction traitor now Andrew,"

"And I don't think you want what is going to be said here tonight to be heard by the other council members Marcus. We are trying to give you a way out, so that you can save face Marcus. Which I think is a lot more that you deserve," Andrew says.

"I didn't think you would believe the lies that Tobias has been telling to be true Andrew. I thought that I would have your support as your leader," Marcus is saying while looking directly at me. Looking at me like to say, 'do not cross me, you know what you will get if you do.' But now I'm not that scared little boy anymore. The way he looked at me only makes me want to be stronger, to show that I'm not going to let him get to me, so I just stare back at him.

"I have seen the scars Marcus, I saw the damage you inflicted on Tobias. There is no use denying it," Natalie says.

Marcus jumps up from his seat and points his finger at Natalie, "how dare you. How dare you come into my house and accuse me."

I rise slowly from my seat, I am standing at full height, not slouched like I once would have been in my fathers' presence, my hands are clenched into fists at my side as I quietly but forcefully say, "sit down. You know what you have done, I also know that you have had the pleasure of seeing the video of my fear landscape. There is no negotiation here Marcus. Jack Kang only needs my approval and he will arrest you. You need to listen to what Andrew is about to say and do exactly what you are told. If not I will be paying Jack a visit. I don't think you would want people to know the monster you really are. I am sure my mother would be happy to testify at your trial, if you aren't scared of what I may say, I think you should be scared at what she is going to say."

I have no idea if my mother would testify but by the look on his face I can see he is not willing to take the chance with it either. I turn to Andrew and Natalie and say, "it was great seeing you both again Natalie and Andrew, I think you should be able to wrap this up without me."

I walk out the door and make my way back to my home in Dauntless.

 **CHAPTER 21**

 **BEATRICE POV**

My parents sent my brother and I to our rooms straight after dinner. They told us that we should use this time wisely to think about the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow. I know my mother didn't believe me when I told her at dinner that I didn't know who it was that got sick at the aptitude test today. I am still feeling overwhelmed with the choices I have. Abnegation, Erudite and Dauntless.

I know I don't belong in Erudite not joining their faction is an easy decision. I realize the decision I make will either require a great act of selflessness to choose Abnegation, or a great act of courage to choose Dauntless, and maybe just choosing one over the other will prove that I belong. As I am thinking through this there is a soft knock on my door.

"Come in," I say

My mum opens the door and walks in and sits on my bed with me. She has a warm smile on her face. "Beatrice whatever you decide tomorrow I love you. I will always love you. I know it was you that was sick at the aptitude test today. You weren't really sick though, were you?"

"No mum I wasn't."

"Divergent?" she asks, I nod. "No matter what faction you decide on tomorrow Beatrice you need to keep that to yourself, tell no one. People don't understand they are scared of people like us."

"You are too?" I say with shock in my voice.

"Yes I am, but it's nothing you need to worry about, you just need to keep it a secret because there are people who are afraid. All it means is that your brain works differently, you don't conform like others do. Now get some sleep you have a big day ahead of you."

"Mum, what about Caleb?" I ask.

"He isn't divergent. I know your dad is in Caleb's' room now talking to him. He is telling him about all the different jobs he can choose from in Abnegation. Your brother loves to read and so I know your dad is trying to explain that there are jobs that he can go on with further study for in Abnegation," my mum answers.

"So why aren't you telling me about the different jobs I could get in Abnegation?" I ask.

My mother lightly laughs and answers, "I think we both know the answer to that Beatrice." She kisses me on my forehead and then walks out of my room. Maybe my decision has just got a little easier.


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER 22**

 **FOUR POV**

I wake with a groan, I really wanted to have a sleep in this morning. It will be the last day that I will be able to have a sleep in until after initiation is finished. Then a smile comes across my face, it's Choosing Day.

Then I start to freak out. What if she doesn't come to Dauntless? What if we don't have a future? Will the choices that I've made over the last two years mean I don't get the future that I want? Can we stop the war? The questions just keep coming. Better to just get up and go for my run.

I walk outside and Eric is there stretching. It looks as though he was waiting for me to arrive. "So Choosing Ceremony today. I hope we get some decent initiates this year," Eric says.

I just nod and start the run. Eric seems chatty today, hopefully it takes my mind off Tris. "Hope we don't get any Amity this year. It is so annoying when we have to put them through the detox program for that bloody peace serum," Eric says.

I can't help but laugh at this. It is probably the only thing we have ever agreed on. But I don't want him to know that, so I say, "Maybe you should talk to your friends at Erudite. You would think they'd have been able to fix the problem, we can't be the only faction that has this problem."

"Maybe we should just steal the peace serum for ourselves. Just for initiation, so I don't have to listen to them crying," Eric says.

I just nod with a smirk on my face. Idiot he is, I remember during our initiation, he was the one crying when he arrived and he didn't even have peace serum withdrawal as an excuse. We finish our run in silence and I go back to my apartment to get ready for the day.

I reach the dining hall and see Shauna and Zeke sitting at our usual table. I sit at the table and Zeke asks, "Excited about today?"

"What has he got to be excited about today? He is going to be stuck with those snotty little transfers for the next few weeks," Shauna says.

I laugh and say to Shauna, "I was one of those snotty little transfers Shauna."

"Don't be stupid Four, you were born Dauntless. Everyone knows it, it's like you were stolen from us at birth but still found your way back," Shauna says.

"What drugs did you take this morning Shauna? That is the most stupid thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth, 'he was stolen from us'. Seriously?" Zeke is laughing as he says this.

"I think your both just nervous with Uriah and Lynn choosing today," I say.

"Don't talk about it Four, I'm so nervous what if he doesn't come back to Dauntless? I know I tease him a lot but I would be devastated if he leaves. And mum wouldn't cope if she lost her baby," Zeke tells us.

"He won't leave Zeke, there is no way he would transfer. I'm not nervous about Lynn there is no way she would transfer. Both Lynn and Uriah are Dauntless. They always were and always will be," Shauna states matter of factly.

I get up from the table and I'm about to go to the control room, hopefully I can watch the Choosing Ceremony from there and I will know if Tris transfers. I don't think I can wait until the initiates get here to know. As I am walking out of the door I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn to see Max standing behind me, "we need to talk, meet me in my office in ten minutes."

Damn, looks like I won't be watching the ceremony. I make my way up to my office. I write a note for Tris that I plan on giving to her if she lands on the net. I then walk over to Max's office to see what is going on.

"Four come on in, I don't have much time I need to get to the roof to welcome the new initiates, so I'll make this quick," Max tells me.

"I need a couple of things from you Four. First, I need you to give me Eric's password for his computer. I know you have it with all the work you do on our computers. I need to be able to see who he is communicating with over at Erudite and within Dauntless. Secondly, I need you to go down to Patrol Headquarters. I know you won't have a chance before the first stage of initiation is finished but that will be fine. I need you to find a way to get some explosives from them, I'll explain why later but for now we need as much as we can get. Maybe tell them it's for part of some experiment with the initiates. I don't know you can work that out. I'm sure they won't question you. Being a leader has its benefits sometimes. I'm sorry I can't give you more details now but I really need to get to the roof, I'll see you at the net soon." And with that he was out of his office and on his way to the roof.

I make my way to the net. There are already a large group of Dauntless waiting here. It is a big deal to the Dauntless, they take jumping into the net very seriously, especially the first jumper. It doesn't matter who jumps first they will always remember who the first jumper was. It amazes me, you can be introduced to someone and if they were the first jumper, they will be introduced as the first jumper, doesn't matter how old they are, it is always remembered and respected.

I go and stand with Lauren, the train has just passed by and I can hear voices coming from the top of the building. Max will be telling the initiates how they have to get into Dauntless. I remember my own jump and I still remember the feelings I had that day, I am relieved that I never have to make the jump again.

"Bet you it's one of my Dauntless-borns," Lauren says.

I know if Tris has chosen Dauntless than it will be her but I am so nervous and anxious that I feel like if I take the bet I will jinx myself. So I say, "It's always a Dauntless-born. No bet."

I am standing with the words repeating in my head, please be Tris, please be Tris. Over and over I just keep repeating it. Then it happens. I see the gray and hear the snap of the net as she lands. She briefly lays there and laughs. I put my hand out and she wraps her fingers around mine, and I pull her across. As she tumbles over the side, I grab her arms to steady her. She's here finally. It is taking every ounce of restraint not to have a big smile on my face. I need to remember to keep my Four mask on. I know if you looked into my eyes you would see just how alive I am feeling right now.

"Thank you," she says.

"Can't believe it," Lauren says, with more Dauntless swagger than usual. "A stiff, the first to jump? Unheard of."

"There's a reason why she left them, Lauren," I say, a little more defensively than I probably should. "What's your name?"

She now looks at me with a great big smile, she knows I know her name but it seems she is willing to play the game.

"Tris," she says with such confidence. My heart is singing, the fact that I didn't have to ask her to think about it like last time. She has arrived happy to take on the name I have been calling her for the last two years.

"Tris," Lauren says. "Make the announcement, Four."

"First jumper-Tris!" I announce.

The Dauntless come out from the darkness of the cavern and start to cheer and pump their fists. I quickly hand Tris the note I have written for her, I touch my other hand to Tris's back to guide her toward the stairs. Before she takes the first step, I say, "Welcome to Dauntless."

 **TRIS POV**

I am here. As soon as I landed in the net and saw those beautiful blue eyes I knew I had made the right decision. I know I am going to miss my parents terribly, it was such a relief when Caleb chose Abnegation. It made my decision so much easier, although now that I am here I know I am where I am supposed to be.

We have been getting the tour of Dauntless by Tobias. I am going to need to remember to call him Four. I am dying to read the note he handed to me at the net. Christina has not left my side and I don't think this is something to be reading in front of someone else. We are about to walk into the dining hall when I ask Christina to wait, I need to go to the bathroom. I walk into the bathroom and finally I can open the note.

 _Tris_

 _So glad that you are here. It will be safer for both of us if you don't let anyone know that we know each other. I will explain it all as soon as I get the chance._

 _Tobias_


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

 **FOUR POV**

I am sitting in the dining hall. I must have made a great impression on the initiates as none are sitting next to me. Hopefully they have got the point and I won't have any more trouble with smart mouth comments. I know I've put Christina in her place. I will be so glad to see her toned down version and not the Christina I witnessed at the high school.

Christina and Tris walk in and over to the table I am sitting at. I know it will be Tris sitting next to me, I think if there had been a chair on the other side of the room Christina would have picked that. It excites me and scares me all at the same time to be so close to Tris again.

Eric approaches with his usual arrogant swagger. A hush had fallen over the room as he had entered the room. I answer Christina's question about Eric as he comes and sits next to me.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me?" Eric says lightly. Like we are friends.

"This is Tris and Christina," I say.

"Ooh, a stiff," says Eric, smirking. I would love to smack him at this moment but I know I can't, I have to keep control. Don't show any emotion. "We'll see how long you last," he says. "At least we didn't get any of those ridiculous hippies I suppose."

If only he knew what I know, she will last and she will be first. Just as I was. Eric stands to leave and he hits my shoulder, like he means it to be casual, but the force of it almost pushes me into the table. Bastard. I glare at him as he walks away.

"Are you two...friends?" Tris asks.

"We were in the same initiate class, he transferred from Erudite," I reply.

"Were you a transfer too?" Tris asks. I know she's read my note. Good. I need to keep her as safe as possible, as much as I want to be near her I know I need to stay as far from her as possible. It will be the first step to keeping her safe. I groan inwardly, how am I going to stay away from her I think to myself. Now she is here it is not going to be easy.

"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions," I say. "Now I've got Stiffs, too?" It breaks my heart to talk to her like this but I can't show any signs of my weakness for her, I have to stay strong.

"It must be because you're so approachable. You know. Like a bed of nails," Tris responds.

Snap. I told her not to act like she knows me and she is doing a really good job of it. "Careful, Tris," I say.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and it is Max motioning for me to follow him.

I walk out of the dining hall and Max turns to me and asks, "that was her, sitting next to you in the dining hall wasn't it?" I nod. I don't know where this is heading but I know it can't be good.

"I'm about to do something that you aren't going to be happy with Four. But it is going to serve both our purposes," Max says. As he has just finished speaking Eric arrives.

"Max you wanted to see me?" asks Eric.

"Eric, glad you are here. I need you to help Four with training the initiates," Max says.

"WHAT!" Eric and I say at the same time.

"No arguments, either of you. This needs to be done. Eric it is the only part of your leadership training you haven't completed. If you want to stay in Leadership you need to complete this," Max says.

"Well if I have to sit through this then I would request that we change the fighting rules. No conceding when the initiates are fighting. If I have to be bored with watching these little cry babies than I at least deserve some entertainment," Eric says with a smile.

"You sick son of a b," I Say.

"Four, enough!" Max says. "Eric I am going to give you this, but it stops once they are unconscious, I don't want any more unnecessary damage to the initiates than there has to be."

"Max this is ridiculous," I say. But Max puts his hand up and I know I have to concede this. I'm trying so hard to keep her safe and here I've put her in the same danger as before. I feel completely defeated, I made sure I became leader to try and stop this sort of thing. I know that Max needs this to keep Eric busy so he can check over his computer but it doesn't make me feel any better.

"Well Eric, I think you can go and show the initiates their dorm room," I say. I need time to think, I need to find a way to help Tris, without anyone seeing what I am doing. I leave and head back to my apartment. I am all of a sudden feeling completely exhausted.

I am restless all night; I still don't know how I can save Tris from the beatings that she is sure to receive in the fighting part of training. I get up and I'm pacing my room. Think Tobias, think. Then I remember, Amar. I get dressed and run across the compound. Amar should still be at home, the sun has only just started to rise. I hope he is awake.

I am banging on Amars' door with the full force of my fist. "Amar open up its Four," I yell at the door.

Amar opens the door and says, "Four, what the hell? Do you know what time it is?"

"Of course I do, I need your help, it's important," I say.

He motions me into his apartment. I walk in and I realise how lucky I am to have the apartment I have. Amars' apartment would fit in my living room.

"What's so important that you need to wake me at this hour?" he asks.

I sit and explain pretty much the same story that I gave Zeke. I don't think I would ever want Amar to know what happened to him in my nightmare and I wouldn't know how to tell him anyway. He sits and listens to me and then he says, "You want me to train her don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. Is that possible? It's not against the rules is it?" I ask.

"No Four I don't think it's against the rules. But if she is going to rank first anyway, why do you want to do this?" Amar asks.

"I don't just want her to rank first Amar; we have a few too many initiates that think like Eric. They are evil and I'd like her to be able to wipe the floor with them," I say.

Amar looks at me with a huge grin on his face and says, "Like Eric, hey?"

I nod. "Well I'm in. I think the proudest moment as a trainer for me was when you smashed Eric," he says. "I'll come by training this afternoon and introduce myself to the young lady, I think I'm curious to see just who has finally stolen your heart Four." He is chuckling now and I can feel the heat rise in my face.


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 24**

 **TRIS POV**

Training started this morning. Watching Tobias point a loaded gun at Peter was really funny. Not that I would like to see anyone shot, but it was just good to see someone shut him up. In the afternoon we were taken into a new room and Tobias started to show us fighting techniques.

About half way through the session a man walks in and starts a conversation with Tobias. I can't hear what they are speaking about but they are laughing. They finish their conversation and the man goes and sits, watching all us initiates train.

After we are dismissed for the day I hear my name being called. I turn to see the man that had been talking to Tobias. I walk over to him and he says, "Hi Tris, I'm Amar."

"Hi," is all I get out. I don't know this Amar and I don't understand how he knows my name.

"Four asked me if I could come and give you some extra training. So if you're willing I would be happy to help you," Amar says.

I think he can see the hurt and confusion on my face as he says, "it wouldn't look good if Four trained you, it would look as if he was favouring you over the others. I was Fours' instructor when he came to Dauntless, so I know what I'm doing." He is now smiling at me warmly.

I feel better knowing that Tobias is trying to help me. I know I'm not very strong and I'm not looking forward to the fighting that starts tomorrow. "Okay," I say and I can't help but smile back at Amar. Maybe this will give me the edge I need.

"Great, well let's start this tomorrow morning. I'll meet you in the training room at six and we can get started. It's not going to be easy Tris, but from what Four tells me I think we should be able to get you the wins on the board," Amar tells me.

"Thank you Amar, I'll see you tomorrow," I say.

I don't know what Tobias could have told him, he hardly knows me and has only seen me training for a few hours now. I brush these thoughts aside and go to meet my friends for dinner. It has been an extremely tiring day and I will be glad to get to bed early, especially now that I have to start training two hours earlier than everyone else.

* * *

 **FOUR POV**

First day of initiation is always the hardest. You have the Erudite kids who think they know everything and then you have the Candor who want to yap and ask questions all day. I enjoyed putting the loaded gun to Peters' head. If he is anything like he was in my nightmare then I probably should have just accidently shot him and given everyone a lot less grief. But even I don't think I would be able to explain that sort of 'accident'. Just need to keep my eye on him.

Amar came into training like he said he would, thank goodness. He has agreed to help Tris and I hope she agrees to it. I know that tomorrow there are an odd number of initiates, so I will be able to stop Tris from fighting. This will give her extra time to prepare for her fights.

* * *

The first day of fights were as expected, brutal. I hate having to watch the initiates beat each other to a bloody pulp. I could see the relief on Tris' face when she didn't have to fight. I am not going to be able to give her a free pass next itme, unfortunately I am going to have to have her fight. I am not looking forward to it.

I get into the training room having worked out who I would have fight today when I see Eric standing with the board I write the fights on. He has a smile on his face, so I know that he is up to no good. It was bad enough when I had left training to take Will to the infirmary and come back to find the initiates gone. I found out later that Eric had held Christina over the chasm.

"What's the deal Eric?" I ask. "Hanging women over the chasm is your idea of a first date or something?"

"Didn't know a Stiff could have a sense of humour Four," he laughs. "They need to toughen up, we are not running a day care centre, we are training soldiers. It would be a good idea if you remembered that, you know Max put me in charge of fights. Don't think I didn't see what you did for the Stiff."

Crap, I am going to have to watch myself. I can't have Eric know my feelings for Tris. If he knew it would mean certain trouble for her. And it looks like I am going to see a bit of it today. Keep calm Tobias, don't show any weakness in front of him. Keep your Four mask on.

"So, I have decided to do the match ups today. I hope you enjoy the show," he says.

As he is finishing saying this the initiates have walked into the room. I look at Tris trying to will her to see that I have had no part in what is about to be unveiled. And that I would never want to harm her.

Eric then says, "good morning initiates. I have decided on who is going to be paired up to fight today." With that he turns the board around and there is Tris' name next to Peters'. I think I'm going to be sick, I hope Amar has taught her enough.

The fights are going as expected. It is time for Tris to fight Peter. Just then Max walks into the room. "Four, I'm having trouble with my computer, I need for you to come up to my office straight away," Max says.

He has got to be kidding, I can't believe this. "Can it wait Max, I really am needed here," I say.

"Four I need this done now, Eric can supervise," he says, in his voice that has the tone of don't mess with me now it's import and I'm not taking no for an answer. I look at Tris who has just walked into the ring and I follow Max out the door.

"Sorry Four but this really is important. I don't know when there will be a next time that we will be able to talk without someone from Erudite being around." Max tells me.

We walk into Max's office and we both sit down with the door closed. "Four, Jeanine Matthews and her lackeys are going to start moving in everything she needs for the war tomorrow. It is going to be hard to talk so I need to tell you what I need you to do," Max says in almost a whisper. He knows that if they wanted to they could be listening in to this conversation in the control room.

"I have had Eric's' computer's hard drive copied. I have had it sent over to Jack at Candor. I have also sent him all the information from my hard drive, with all the communication I have been having with Jeanine. I need you to come in and do the same to our other two leaders over the next few nights or early mornings, whatever is easiest for you. If you could deliver the information to my home once you got it, that would be great," Max asks of me.

I nod, there is no use talking, especially if someone is listening in. Plus what more could I say anyway I know what I have to do. My thoughts think of Tris and I hope she is okay and not in too bad of shape during her fight with Peter.

"There is more I need you to do Four. Erudite are going to be storing the simulation serum in the old warehouse at the back of the Dauntless compound. This is what we are going to need the explosives for. Jeanine is telling people that the serum is a tracking device, to make sure we can track any of members if they get lost. She wants us to administer it on the last day of training. I need you to get a team together and go into the warehouse and blow every last serum container up, between stage two and three of training. They don't have any more of the serum and it will take months for them to create enough for what they want it for," Max says.

"There will be casualties Four, Jeanine has her own guards to guard all the equipment. Lauren has been able to supply me with a virus to take down the computer system they are using but there is a chance that it could affect our systems too. We will need to make sure that every department of Dauntless has backed up their computers before the end of stage two, otherwise the information could be lost. I will send the information to all the departments telling them to have a back up done by the end of stage two of training, this should give you a few days to check that the backups have been done," Max says.

I am about to speak when Eric comes barging into Max's office. "You should have seen it Four, I think I just watched the best fight of my life," Eric says with a huge smile on his face.

Oh no I think, how badly did Peter hurt Tris. "It was a total bloodbath, I didn't know she had it in her," he says.

"How bad was it?" I ask. I can feel myself starting to slide down into my seat.

"The Stiff won Four, I had no idea she would be such a firecracker. I mean she is pretty badly beaten and you are going to have a hell of a time cleaning the blood off the floor. But she knocked Peter senseless, he'll be lucky if his awake before the start of stage two," he says laughing.

"I better go and see what damage you've done to my training room Eric, Max do you need anything else?" I ask. Max shakes his head, "I think I've covered everything Four. I will need those reports finished before stage three commences," Max says and I walk out of his office to go find Tris.

As happy as I am that she beat Peter this time, I am also worried about what condition she will be in from the fight. And now I am also worrying that she has an even bigger target on her back than she did last time, as this is going to increase her ranking.


	25. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER 25**

 **FOUR POV**

I decide that the training room can wait. Instead I head towards the infirmary.

I walk into the infirmary and go straight to the nurse's station. The nurse sees me coming and I can see she is not happy.

"Four, what are you doing with these initiates? I've never had so many in my hospital," she says.

"Eric," I say. She shakes her head and lets me know that Peter will have to stay in overnight but as soon as Tris wakes up she can leave. She tells me that Tris is okay she is only sleeping. I am so relieved to hear that she is going to be alright.

I walk past Peters' bed and it brings a smile to my face. He looks asleep but I know he is still unconscious from the fight with Tris. It looks like he has a broken nose, with big purple circles under his eyes. He has a swollen jaw and a black eye. I'm so proud of what Tris has done to Peter, Amar has done an impressive job training Tris.

I keep walking down past a few more beds when I see Christina, Will and Al all standing around her bed. I walk over and I see Tris is sleeping. The nurse may say Tris is okay but she is badly bruised all over her face. She has a split lip, a large bruise is starting to show on her cheek and it looks as though she has had a bleeding nose but they have cleaned it up.

"How is she?" I ask to no one in particular.

"Oh Four, you should have seen her. It was amazing I never thought she would have been able to do it," say Christina.

"She just fell asleep but she seemed okay for someone who had been in a fight with Peter," Will said.

"You guys can go and get some dinner, I'll stay with her," I say.

"Are you sure?" Christina asks.

I glare at Christina and she says, "lets go."

I sit in the chair next to her bed. I pick up her small hand and just sit watching her. I don't know how long I have been sitting just watching her when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Amar standing there.

"I hear she did good Four," Amar says.

"I didn't get to see what happened, I got called to a meeting. Eric seemed excited about what she did though," I say.

"She has been working so hard. I am so proud of her. But it looks like she took a hammering," Amar says.

"Thank you for helping her Amar, she would have been in a lot worse condition if it wasn't for you," I tell Amar.

"How did she get put up against Peter?" Amar asks.

"Eric, he decided the match ups today," I explain to Amar.

"Why aren't you in charge of this Four? What is going on?" Amar asks.

"It's complicated Amar, it isn't a conversation I can have in here with you," I say.

Amar just nods, he understands how dangerous it could be if the wrong ears hear us.

"I'll leave you with her Four, if she wakes up tell her she can have a day off from training with me tomorrow," he says with a smile on his face.

I give him a small smile and go back to holding her hand and just watching her sleep. I would love to just lie down next to her and hold her in my arms. But I know I can't do that, not only would Tris probably freak out if she woke up in that position, I also wouldn't want anyone to catch us.

I have been sitting here for about two hours when Tris starts to stir. A small groan comes out of her mouth as she moves in the bed. Her eyes open and she is blinking from the bright lights in the room.

"Four, what are you doing here?" Tris asks me.

"How are you feeling Tris?" I ask. Not really wanting to answer her question.

"Like I've been in a fight," Tris says.

"I'm sorry I missed it, I heard you did really well," I say.

The nurse walks over to us and tells that Tris can leave whenever she is ready.

"Do you want me to help you back to the dorm?" I ask Tris.

She nods her head and tries to get off the bed. I hold out my hand to her and she takes it. A spark of electricity goes through my hand when we touch. Tris' head jerks up and she looks me in my eyes. Did she feel the spark too? I hope so. I give her a small smile and help her off the bed. I pass her shoes to her and she tries to put them on.

"Give them to me," I tell her. She passes her shoes back to me and I put them on her feet for her. She rises from the bed and we walk out of the infirmary. As we walk past Peters' bed I see a shocked look come across her face. That is the Abnegation coming out in her.

"Your dad was voted Abnegation leader today," I tell Tris.

"Really, what happened to Marcus?" she asks.

"He decided to retire from the position," I say.

"I didn't think Marcus would want to give up that position," Tris replies.

"He wasn't really given a choice. He isn't the man everyone thinks he is."

We have arrived at the door to the initiates' dormitory. We are standing facing each other. I would love nothing more than to be able to hold her, but that is something I can't do, yet.

"Amar dropped by while you were still sleeping. He told me to tell you that you can have tomorrow off from training," I say.

"Thanks Four, I think I will need it. And thank you for getting Amar to train me. I wouldn't have been able to beat Peter without it," she says.

"Amar trained me when I came here, I thought he would be good for you too. Go and get some rest Tris you are going to need it," I say. Turning quickly and leaving her. It is too hard to be so close to her and not being able to tell her how I really feel.


	26. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER 26**

 **TRIS POV**

I have just let my head hit my pillow after another exhausting day of training. I had to fight Myra today. I still felt injured from my fight with Peter but had to go at it again today. I felt sorry for Myra, Amar has trained me so well and has given me such confidence. Myra didn't stand a chance. There wasn't any triumph in the win, but it was a win just the same.

I was looking forward to sleeping. No one is going to get that now. We are all getting told to get up and be at the train tracks in five minutes. They really do enjoy torturing their initiates here in Dauntless.

I jump off the train with everyone, ready to play capture the flag. We start walking when one of the Dauntless-born initiates touches Tobias' shoulder and asks, "When your team won, where did you put the flag?"

"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene," he says coolly.

"Come on, Four," she whines. She gives him a flirtatious smile. He brushes her hand off his arm, and for some reason, I find myself grinning.

"Navy Pier," another Dauntless-born initiate calls out; I think his name is Uriah.

"Let's go there, then," suggests Will.

No one objects, so we walk east, towards the marsh that was once a lake.

We reach the carousel. Some of the horses are scratched and weathered, their tails broken off or their saddles chipped. Tobias takes the flag out of his pocket.

"In ten minutes, the other team will pick their location," he says. "I suggest you take this time to formulate a strategy. We may not be Erudite, but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is the most important aspect."

He is right about that. What is a prepared body if you have a scattered mind?

Will takes the flag from Four.

"Some people should stay here and guard, and some people should go out and scout the other team's location," Will says.

"Yeah? You think?" Marlene plucks the flag from Will's fingers. "Who put you in charge, transfer?"

"No one," says Will. "But someone's got to do it."

"Maybe we should develop a more defensive strategy. Wait for them to come to us, then take them out," suggests Christina.

"That's the sissy way out," Uriah says. "I vote we go all out. Hide the flag well enough that they can't find it."

Everyone bursts into the conversation at one, their voices louder with each passing second. Christina defends Will's plan; the Dauntless-born initiates vote for offense; everyone argues about who should make the decision. Tobias sits down on the edge of the carousel, leaning against a plastic horse's foot. His eyes lift to the sky, where there are no stars, only a round moon peeking through a thin layer of clouds. The muscles in his arms are relaxed; his hand rests on the back of his neck. He looks comfortable, holding that gun to his shoulder.

I close my eyes briefly. Why does he distract me so easily? I need to focus.

What would I say if I could shout above the sniping behind me? We can't act until we know where the other team is. They could be anywhere within a two-mile radius, although I can rule out the empty march as an option. The best way to find them is not to argue about how to search for them, or how many to send out in a search party.

It's to climb as high as possible.

I look over my shoulder to make sure no one is watching. None of them look at me, so I walk toward the Ferris wheel with light, quiet footsteps, pressing my gun to my back with one hand to keep it from making noise.

I grab a rung. It's rusty and thin and feels like it might crumble in my hands. I put my weight on the lowest rung to test it and jump to make sure it will hold me up.

"Tris," a low voice says behind me. I don't know why it doesn't startle me. Maybe because I am becoming Dauntless, and mental readiness is something I am supposed to develop. Maybe because his voice is low and smooth and almost soothing. Whatever the reason, I look over my shoulder. Tobias stands behind me with his gun slung across his back, just like mine.

"Yes?" I say.

"I came to find out what you think you're doing."

"I'm seeking higher ground," I say. "I don't think I'm doing anything."

I see his smile in the dark, "All right. I'm coming."

I pause a second. He doesn't look at me the way Will, Christina, and Al sometimes do-like I am too small and too weak to be of any use, and they pity me for it or is it because we are both from Abnegation. But if he insists on coming with me, it is probable because he doubts me.

"I'll be fine," I say.

"Undoubtedly," he replies. I don't hear the sarcasm, but I know it's there. It has to be.

I climb, and when I'm a few feet off the ground, he comes after me. He moves faster than I do, and soon his hands find the rungs that my feet leave.

"So tell me . . .," he says quietly aw we climb. He sounds breathless. "What do you think the purpose of this exercise is" the game, I mean, not the climbing."

I stare down at the pavement. It seems far away now, but I'm not even a third of the way up. Above me is a platform, just below the centre of the wheel. That's my destination. I don't even think about how I will climb back down.

The breeze that brushed my cheeks earlier now presses against my side. The higher we go, the stronger it will get. I need to be ready.

"Learning about strategy," I say. "Teamwork, maybe."

"Teamwork," he repeats. A laugh hitches in his throat. It sounds like a panicked breath.

"Maybe not," I say. "Teamwork doesn't seem to be a Dauntless priority."

The wind is stronger now. I press closer to the white support so I don't fall, but that makes it hard to climb. Below me the carousel looks small. I can barely see my team under the awning. Some of them are missing-a search party must have left.

Tobias says, "It's supposed to be a priority. It used to be. I'm trying to bring it back."

But I'm not listening, because the height is dizzying. My hands ache from holding the rungs, and my legs are shaking, but I'm not sure why. It isn't the height that scares me-the height makes me feel alive with energy, every organ and vessel and muscle in my body singing at the same pitch.

Then I realize what is is. It's him. Something about Tobias makes me feel like I am about to fall. Or turn to liquid. Or burst into flames.

My hand almost misses the next rung.

"Now tell me . . .," he says through a bursting breath, "what do you think learning strategy has to do with . . . bravery?"

The question reminds me that he is my instructor, and I am supposed to learn something from this. A cloud passes over the moon, and the light shifts across my hands.

It . . . it prepares you to act," I say finally. "You learn strategy so you can use it." I hear him breathing behind me, loud and fast. "Are you all fight, Four?"

"Are you human, Tris? Being up this high . . ." He gulps for air. "It doesn't scare you at all?"

I look over my shoulder at the ground. If I fall now, I will die. But I don't think I will fall.

A gust of air presses against my left side, throwing my body weight to the tight. I gasp and cling to the rungs, my balance shifting. Tobias's cold hand clamps around one of my hips, one of his fingers finding a strip of bare skin just under the hem of my T-shirt. He squeezes, steadying me and pushing me gently to the left, restoring my valance.

Now I can't breathe. I pause, staring at my hands, my mouth dry. I feel the ghost of where his hand was his fingers long and narrow.

"You okay?" he asks quietly.

"Yes," I say, my voice strained.

I keep climbing, silently, until I reach the platform. Judging by the blunted ends of metal rods, it used to have railings, but it doesn't anymore. I sit down and scoot to the end of it so Tobias has somewhere to sit. Without thinking, I put my legs over the side. Tobias, however, crouches and presses his back to the metal support, breathing heavily.

"You're afraid of heights," I say. "How do you survive in the Dauntless compound?"

"I ignore my fear," he says. "When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist."

I stare at him for a second. I can't help it. To me there's a difference between not being afraid and acting in spite of fear, as he does.

I have been staring at him too long.

"What?" he says quietly.

"Nothing."

I look away from him and toward the city. I have to focus. I climbed up here for a reason.

The city is pitch-black, but even if it wasn't, I wouldn't be able to see very far. A building stands in my way.

"We're not high enough," I say. I look up. Above me is a tangle of white bars, the wheel's scaffolding. If I climb carefully, I can wedge my feet between the supports and the crossbars and stay secure. Or as secure as possible.

"I'm going to climb," I say, standing up. I grab one of the bars above my head and pull myself up.

"For God's sake, Tris," he says.

"You don't have to follow me," I say, staring at the maze of bars above me. I shove my foot onto the place where two bars cross and push myself up, grabbing another bar in the process. I sway for a second, my heart beating so hard I can't feel anything else. Every thought I have condenses into that heartbeat, moving at the same rhythm.

"Yes, I do," he says.

This is crazy, and I know it. A fraction of an inch of mistake, half a second of hesitation, and my life is over. Heat tears through my chest, and I smile as I grab the next bar. I pull myself up, my arms shaking, and force my leg under me so I'm standing on another bar. When I feel steady, I look down at Tobias. I But instead of seeing him, I see straight to the ground.

I can't breathe.

I imagine my body plummeting, smacking into the bars as it falls down, and my limbs at broken angles on the pavement. Tobias grabs a bar with each hand and pulls himself up, easily.

I grab another bar, find another place to wedge my foot. When I look at the city again, the building isn't in my way. I'm high enough to see the skyline. Most of the buildings are black against a navy sky, but the red lights at the top of the Hub are lit up. Then I see a tiny pulsing light on the ground.

"See that?" I say, pointing.

Tobias stops climbing when he's right behind me and looks over my shoulder, his chin next to my head. His breaths flutter against my ear, and I feel shaky again, like I did when I was climbing the ladder.

"Yeah," he says. A smile spreads over his face.

"It's coming from the park at the end of the pier," he says. "Figures. It's surrounded by open space, but the trees provide some camouflage. Obviously not enough."

"Okay," I say. I look over my shoulder at him. We are so close I forget where I am; instead I notice that the corners of his mouth turn down naturally, just like mine, and that he has a scar on his chin.

"Um," I say. I clear my throat, "Start climbing down. I'll follow you.

Tobias nods and steps down. His leg is so long that he finds his foot easily and guides his body between the bars. Even in darkness, I see that his hands are bright red and shaking.

I step down with one foot, pressing my weight into one of the crossbars. The bar creaks beneath me and comes loose, clattering against half a dozen bars on the way down and bouncing on the pavement. I'm dangling from the scaffolding with my toes swinging in midair. A strangled gasp escapes me.

"Four!"

I try to find another place to put my foot, but the nearest foothold is a few feet away, farther than I can stretch. My hands are sweaty. I remember wiping them on my slacks before the Choosing Ceremony, before the aptitude test, before every important moment, and suppress a scream. I will slip. I will slip.

"Hold on!" he shouts. "Just hold on, I have an idea."

He keeps climbing down. He's moving in the wrong direction; he should be coming toward me, not going away from me. I stare at my hands, which are wrapped around the narrow bar so tightly my knuckles are white. My fingers are dark red, almost purple. They won't last.

I squeeze my eyes shut. Better not to look. Better to pretend that none of this exists. I hear Tobias's sneakers squeak against metal and rapid footsteps on ladder rungs.

"Four!" I yell. Maybe he left. Maybe he abandoned me. Maybe this is a test of my strength, of my bravery. I breathe in my nose and out my mouth. I count my breaths to calm down. One, two. In, out. Come on, Tobias is all I can think. Come on, do something.

Then I hear something wheeze and creak. The bar I'm holding shudders, and I scream through my clenched teeth as I fight to keep my grip.

The wheel is moving.

Air wraps around my ankles and wrists as the wind gushes up, like a geyser. I open my eyes. I'm moving-toward the ground. I laugh, giddy with hysteria as the ground comes closer and closer. But I'm picking up speed. If I don't drop at the right time, the moving cars and metal scaffolding will drag at my body and carry me with them, and then I will really die.

Every muscle in my body tenses as I hurtle toward the ground. When I can see the cracks in the sidewalk, I drop, and my body slams into the ground, feet first. My legs collapse beneath me and I pull my arms in, rolling as fast as I can to the side. The cement scrapes my face, and I turn just in time to see a car bearing down on me, like a giant shoe about to crush me. I roll again, and the bottom of the car skims my shoulder.

I'm safe.

I press my palms to my face. I don't try to get up. If I did, I'm sure I would just fall back down. I hear footsteps, then I am lifted off the ground and Tobias is hugging me tightly to his body.

"You all right?" he asks, my cheek is pressed to his chest and I can hear how fast his heartbeat is.

"Yeah," I whisper. I can't say anything else. My whole body has warmed up, it is the same feeling I had when Tobias and I were together in my home in Abnegation. That moment feels so long ago, I had almost forgotten how wonderful it felt to be so close to him.

He starts to laugh.

After a second. I laugh too.

He is still holding me to his body, I have my hands around his waist. I know I shouldn't like this, that I should be pushing him away. If my family saw me in this situation I would be scolded, but I'm not in Abnegation anymore. And I don't want to move.

"Tris, we should go and win this game," he says.

I look up into his eyes and a quietly say, "okay."

Tobias squeezes me even closer to him, I never thought it would be possible to be able to get closer to him, but somehow I have. Then he has let go of me and started walking towards the others. I start to follow, missing the warmth of his body on mine.

We are sitting in the train now. I can't believe that it was my strategy that won us the game of capture the flag. I don't know what to think of the time on the Ferris wheel with Tobias. The electricity that goes through my body whenever we touch makes me wonder what is happening between us, does he feel it too, I wonder. I am shaken from my thoughts when I hear Will.

"I can't believe I missed it!" Will says again, shaking his head. Wind coming through the doorway of the train car blows his hair in every direction.

"You were performing the very important job of staying out of our way," says Christina, beaming.

Al groans. "Why did I have to be on the other team?"

"Because life's not fair, Albert. And the world is conspiring against you," says Will. "Hey, can I see the flag again?"

Peter, Molly and Drew sit across from the members in the corner. Their chests and backs are splattered with blue and pink paint, and they look dejected. They speak quietly, sneaking looks at the rest of us, especially Christina. That is the benefit of not holding the flag right now – I am no one's target. Or at least, no more than usual.

"So you climbed the Ferris wheel, huh," Says Uriah. He stumbles across the car and sits next to me. Marlene, the girl with the flirty smile, follow him.

"Yes," I say.

"Pretty smart of you. Like . . . Erudite smart," Marlene says. "I'm Marlene."

"Tris," I say. At home, being compared to an Erudite would be an insult, but she says it like a compliment.

"Yeah, I know who you are," she says. "The first jumper tends to stick in your head."

It has been years since I jumped off a building in my Abnegation uniform: it has been decades.

Uriah takes one of the paintballs from his gun and squeezes it between his thumb and index finger. The train lurches to the left, and Uriah falls against me, his fingers pinching the paintball until a stream of pink, foul-smelling paint sprays on my face.

Marlene collapses in giggles. I wipe some of the paint from my face, slowly, and then smear it on his cheek. The scent of fish oil wafts through the train car.

"Ew!" He squeezes the ball at me again, but the opening is at the wrong angle, and paint sprays into his mouth instead. He coughs and makes exaggerated gagging sounds.

I wipe my face with my sleeve, laughing so hard my stomach hurts.

If my entire life is like this, loud laughter and bold action and the kind of exhaustion you feel after a hard but satisfying day, I will be content. As Uriah scrapes his tongue with his fingertips, I feel eyes on me. I look across the train car and Tobias is staring at me. He smiles at me before a Dauntless member I don't know starts talking to him and his gaze is broken from mine, and that is when I realise that all I have to do is get through initiation, and that life will be mine.


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER 27**

 **ERIC POV**

I am standing in the training room waiting for the initiates to arrive. I wish they'd hurry up. I'm bored already and the day hasn't even started. Hopefully they will finish early and I can have the rest of the day off. They start to file in, in their little groups. Most of them will be gone soon; I'll be able to cut them when the rankings come out. I think it's my favourite part of initiation. You suck so get out, we don't want you.

Mmmm that's interesting. The Stiff has walked in and all of a sudden Four has burst into the room and he grabs her arm. I wonder what they are talking about. He looks serious and she just looks confused. Don't tell me he is finally getting some. I doubt it, they are both Stiffs so that would be an extremely boring relationship. Although the way she beat Peter, it makes me wonder just how wild she could be. She'd definitely fight back that one.

Now they are all here standing around like lost little puppies. I should really explain what we are doing today. It would be way more fun if I could just throw knives at them instead of watching them throw at the targets.

"Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one," I say. Thank god, then I can leave stage two up to Four to handle. I can just review the data later, when I can be bothered. Report it all back to Jeanine, let her know if I find any of those Divergents she is looking for. Waste of time if you ask me, we will soon have a better plan that we will carry out. Then they will all be dead and I can go back to terrorising Dauntless.

"You will resume fighting then," I say. Awesome more fights. "today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pick up three knives and pay attention while Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them." He can do all the work today, plus I'm not great at throwing knives, I don't want them to see that. I can't look at Four today, after losing to him at capture the flag last night. I'm so pissed about that, third year in a row. Everyone thinks he's so special, not for much longer he won't be. Hopefully I can just blow his brains out while he is under the simulation Jeanine has invented. Nobody would know. Then I can be the favourite. Yep, I think that's a good plan, only a few more weeks and then I can do it.

"Now!" I scream. Seriously they are all putting me on edge, stupid initiates.

They scramble for knives and Four lines up at a target. Dead centre, every time, I hate him. I could hear the gasps from the initiates. Impressed because he can throw knives, who cares, they all think his some god. Except for that Peter guy, he is always trying to get my attention. Bloody suck up, he may come in useful one day, I'll have to remember to at least act like I like him.

"Line up!" I shout. Four has left his knives in the target, I feel like going over there pulling them out and stabbing him with them. Better not, Max would probably get a little cranky about that.

Knives are flying now.

"I think the Stiff's taken too many hits to the head!" Peter says. "Hey, Stiff! Remember what a knife is?" I look over to see what is going on, Four seems awfully interested too. He is death staring Peter, maybe there is something going on between him and the Stiff.

She doesn't answer Peter, she picks up a knife and throws it. She has the most awkward throw I have ever seen. I'm trying not to laugh at her when I hear the thud and see the knife has actually landed in the target.

"Hey, Peter," the Stiff says. "remember what a target is?" Yep she is definitely a little firecracker. I'm going to have to watch her.

I'm pacing behind them, trying to intimidate them. I love when they cringe, I think it's really funny. They seem to be getting the hang of it now. All except one. Why Al picked Dauntless is beyond me, I go and stand directly behind him.

"How slow are you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?" I ask, this is wearing on my patience and I know it shows in my voice.

He throws the knife again and the knife sails into a wall. A wall, not the target, but a wall, this is just painful to watch.

"What was that, initiate?" I say.

"It-it slipped."

"Well, I think you should go get it." This should be fun.

The initiates have stopped throwing and they are all looking at this clown.

"Did I tell you to stop?" I say, raising my eyebrows.

"Go get it?" says Al. "But everyone's still throwing."

"And?"

"And I don't want to get hit."

"I think you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you. Go get your knife."

"No," he says. No. No, did he really just say no to me. Well he seems to have some guts. Let's see how far I can push this.

"Why not? Are you afraid?"

"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife?" Al says. "Yes, I am!"

Bingo! Idiot now I am really going to have some fun. Just when he was showing a slither of being Dauntless he had to go and ruin it. Can't believe he admitted he was afraid.

"Everyone stop!" I yell.

"Clear out of the ring," I say. Then I look at Al. "All except you. Stand in front of the target."

Al, gulping drags his feet over to the target. Well I better not try and throw the knives, they will see just how bad I am at it. Or maybe when I accidently hit him they will think I did it on purpose. Better not, I will be filling out paper work for weeks if I hit him. No, I have a better idea, I'll let Four do it. He will hate having to do it, which will make my day.

"Hey Four. Give me a hand here, huh?" I say, like it's a casual thing. I didn't look at Four as I said it. Would rather not look at him today if possible, it just keeps reminding me of last night and that bloody game. I hate losing.

"You're going to stand there as he throws those knives until you learn not to flinch", I say.

"Is this really necessary?" Four asks.

"I think we both know whose rules Max wants us to go by in here," I say. I don't know what is going on between Max and Four but I may as well enjoy being able to make him feel uncomfortable. It really doesn't get to happen as often as I would like.

Four walks over to where he is going to throw the knives. He is taking his time, just throw the knife will you. As he lifts his arm to throw she speaks.

"Stop it," Tris says.

I see Fours' shoulders drop, just for a second and then he takes his normal stance. Definitely need to watch those two.

"Any idiot can stand in front of a target," she says. It doesn't prove anything except that you're bullying him. Which, as I recall, is a sign of cowardice."

Well, well, well. She might just have a death wish this one. Lets play with her instead of that stupid big oaf.

"Then it should be easy for you," I say. "If you're willing to take his place."

I look at Four to see his reaction to this. I think he is a little to calm for what I am going to have him do. Well I will soon find out how much he cares. I'll have to play this out right. Make sure he at least nicks her with one of the knives. Then I can get the hell out of here.

Peter makes some smart remark at her but I'm not listening. I tune out whenever that kid talks.

She stands with her back to the board. She lifts her head so that she is looking at Four straight in the eyes. She has got guts, I will give her that.

"If you flinch, Al takes your place. Understand?" Four tells her.

I move as close as I can to Four, I'm tapping my foot on the floor, trying to get him to hurry up. Also I'm hoping it will put him off and he will stab her. Then it's his paperwork to fill out not mine.

He throws the knife and it hits the board near her cheek. Not bad and she didn't flinch.

"You about done, Stiff?" Four asks her.

"No," she replies with anger in her voice. This is starting to get interesting.

"Eyes open, then," he says as he taps the skin between his eyebrows. I inch closer to Four.

He throws and it looks as though it has parted her hair.

"Hmm," is all I say.

"Come on, Stiff," he says. "Let someone else stand there and take it."

"Shut up, Four!" she says. She is all fired up now. If she wasn't a Stiff, well she was so it doesn't really matter what I was thinking.

Four throws the knife and YES. He has drawn blood. Got her on the ear. Finally my day is done and I can leave with a smile on my face.

"I would love to stay and see if the rest of you are as daring as she is, but I think that's enough for today," I say. Then I turn to Four and mutter, "Well. That should scare them, huh."

I go over and I squeeze her shoulder and smile. "I should keep my eye on you," I tell her. She is definitely more interesting than I thought she would be. With that I walk out of the room.

 **FOUR POV**

"What the hell was that Tobias?" Tris asks me.

"I told you to keep your mouth shut today. Why couldn't you listen to me? Why is it so hard for you to listen? You always do this, you never listen, you are always putting yourself in danger." I am so angry with Tris right now, what the hell. She was just like this in my dream always putting herself in danger, even when I told her not too.

"What do you mean always? What are you talking about?" She looks at me with a confused look on her face.

I realise I've slipped up here. Shit! How do I back track with this? "I just mean, I asked you to not speak up today and you did.

She is silent for a moment and I'm thinking yes Tobias you've saved yourself.

"No, you said always. This is the first time you have said anything like that to me, it's the first time we have had any type of conversation really, so what were you really talking about?" she asks.

Shit, "It's nothing Tris, don't worry about it." I reply.

"No Tobias. Now you are sounding like my mother. Every time I asked her a question about you I got the same response. Don't worry about it Beatrice. Or you will find out when it's time Beatrice. Well Tobias I think it's time. I need to know what is going on. Ever since I have got here you have ignored me whenever possible. Like we don't know each other. Like there was never anything between us. I still remember what you said to me just before your choosing ceremony. I remember where I slept the night before your choosing ceremony. Do you?" She is really angry now. Her eyes have come alive.

I can't look at her, I just want to take her in my arms and kiss her. I know I can't do that. The only other thing I can do is leave, I need to run and quickly. I have to get out. I cross the room and, at the last second before I slam the door, I shove the point of my knife into the table.

I hear her frustrated scream from around the corner, and I stop, sinking into a crouch with my back to the wall. I have my head in my hands when I hear the training room door open. I don't look up, I don't need to I can feel her standing over me.

"Tobias, please", she whispers, making sure that if there was anyone around they wouldn't hear my name.

"Fine, follow me," I say, completely defeated. I can't keep acting like I don't know her, like I don't love her. I know I wanted to wait, try to get to a point where she realised she had feelings for me. But I'm dying inside. I need her to know everything. I knew I couldn't just take her into my fear landscape like last time, not now, not with her in there. That would make it even more uncomfortable to explain. Plus I have a feeling Marcus won't be there anymore and I don't know what it may have changed too.

We walk towards my apartment, it's the only place I know that I can tell her everything without being over heard. As we are walking I am trying to think how am I going to tell her everything, where do I start, should I leave things out. Am I just burdening her with my own problems by telling her. Am I being completely selfish for wanting to tell her? Or should I give her more credit, she has always been smart, will it make it easier for me having her know. Will she reject me, us, or will she just think I'm completely crazy.

We reach the apartment and I usher her inside. She is standing just inside the door way and her arms are crossed over her chest, I can see she is still angry with me. Is it because of the knife, or because she wants to know the truth. It's probably both. We just stand there staring at each other for a moment.

"I'm sorry about cutting you with the knife", I finally say.

"I think this is so much more than that, don't you Tobias?"

"It's just I knew if I didn't that Eric would keep having me throw knives until I did hurt you" Still trying to avoid the real conversation that we both know we are here for.

"Stop, just stop!" She says putting a hand up to stop me.

"I understand about the knife, that isn't the problem here. You asked me not to let anyone know that we knew each other and I have done that. You sent Amar to train me, when I don't know why you just couldn't do it yourself. It would have been a great excuse for us to spend time together. You're avoiding me Tobias. There is more than you are telling me, so much more. I can feel it," she says.

I can hear the frustration in her voice, but I can't, I'm not ready. I have so much I want to say, so much I need to say and at the same time so much I don't want to say.

"You need to start talking Tobias and you need to start talking now," I can hear the anger in her voice again.

I open my mouth and then close it again. I try to speak again but nothing. No words will come out of my mouth, it's like I'm mute.

I can see the fire in her eyes now, she is so frustrated with me. But still I can't seem to form words. I must look like a complete fool.

"Fine," she is saying in a raised voice. "If this is how you want it to be _Four_ , then just stay away from me," I can't believe she called me four, now I can feel the frustration rising in me. She turns and walks toward the door, she has her hand on the door knob and then she is gone.

"I'm in love with you", I whisper but the door has already closed and I am standing alone in my apartment. I sink to the floor.

I had been imagining for the last two years just how I would tell her, not only that I love her but everything that had happened the night before my Choosing Ceremony. This isn't how I had planned for it to go. Now she's angry with me and I don't know what I am going to do. I am feeling totally helpless now. I just lay on the floor, trying to work out how I can fix this.


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER 28**

 **FOUR POV**

What am I doing? I get off the floor and run out the door. I have to fix this, and I have to fix it now.

I am about to run down the hallway when I see her. She is sitting on the floor, she looks as defeated as I feel.

I walk over and sit down next to her. She looks up and I try to give her a smile. "I'm sorry," I say.

"Please come back inside, and I'll tell you everything," I say.

She nods her head and I get off the floor and offer her a hand. She takes it and I pull her off the ground and we walk back into the apartment.

I motion for her to sit on the couch and I say, "Do you want something to drink?"

"Water, thanks," Tris says.

I go and get us both some water and I sit down on the couch next to her. Not to close, but close enough that I can reach out and touch her. I know right now that I can't touch her, but I feel better knowing that she is close enough to touch.

"I have a lot I need to tell you. I just don't really know how to say it or where to begin," I tell her.

"What about you start at the beginning, maybe with, why you stayed at my house the night before your Choosing Ceremony. That's where this all began for me," she says.

"Okay," I take a big breath. Here I go. "It all actually began a few days before that night. Marcus coached me on how to get an Abnegation result in the aptitude test. Day after day he told me what I needed to do, he was relentless. He wouldn't stop questioning me until I could tell him exactly what to do. But even then it wasn't enough, he just kept going over and over what I had to do."

I reached for my water and take a sip, I am so nervous. This is going to be a really long conversation. And Tris being the person she is, is probably going to have a lot of questions.

"When I went to bed that night I was exhausted. It was a big day with the aptitude test and then when I was at home that night I had an encounter with Marcus. I fell into a deep sleep quickly and then it happened. I thought it was just a dream, but in the end it turned into my worst nightmare. I remember at the end I could feel Marcus trying to wake me but I couldn't wake up. I don't think I wanted to wake up. Not to Marcus anyway."

"Marcus went to your house. Your mum was the one who was able to wake me up. I think it was because I thought it was someone else, that I allowed her to wake me up. When I woke up I got the shock of my life that she was there. After a few minutes of confusion, mostly on my behalf, your mum was able to explain to me what had happened," I say.

Tris is looking at me intently, her eyes haven't left mine the whole time I have been talking. I think I've just told the only easy part of this story. I hope I am strong enough to tell her the rest.

"Your mum was hugging me, I was pretty upset. While she was hugging me my shirt lifted up and she saw my back." I can't look at Tris now, last time I didn't have to say the words, I just went through my fear landscape with her and she could see for herself. This is so much harder.

"Marcus is a cruel and evil man. He used to beat my mum. When she died he put all his energy into me. It didn't matter what I did, he found a way to turn things, find any reason he could to beat me. He would take his belt off and beat me senseless. Sometimes he would lock me in the hall cupboard for days, not feeding me," I say, my voice is hardly a whisper. The memory brings tears to my eyes.

I have my head bowed as I'm telling Tris this. Then I have the warmest feeling going through my hand. Tris has reached out and she is holding my hand in hers. I look up expecting to see pity but I don't. She is looking at me with such an intensity, it feels like she is giving me her strength to keep on going. Now I can't not look at her. Staring into her eyes is making me feel stronger, makes me feel like I can tell her anything. I've really missed that look.

"When your mother saw the damage that Marcus had inflicted on my back she made sure I didn't have to stay with him that night. She made some excuse about him needing his sleep for he was the leader of Abnegation and that he needed to be at his best for the Choosing Ceremony. She knew that he would inflict more harm on me after she left because of the nightmare I had had."

"I sat with your mum for hours. She was so kind. She told me that because Marcus had coached me on the aptitude test. I reacted somehow. I'm not sure how, something to do with the serum and the electrodes. It all messed with my brain chemistry. I don't really know how it works. But because I'm divergent," as I'm saying this Tris' eyes bulge. I almost want to laugh but I don't.

"I know your divergent Tris," I say.

"How?" she asks. Shock and a look of worry comes across her face.

"You don't have to worry, I'm not going to tell anyone. But we do need to keep it a secret and I am going to have to explain to you how to pass stage two of training without you showing your divergence. But we can get to that late," I say. I can't stop what I need to tell her now. I need to get this out. If I don't I may never be able too. We can talk about being Divergent later.

"Talking to Natalie, she worked out that my dream/nightmare wasn't just that. I was able to see into the future while I was asleep. I think she called it a premonition. So after I explained everything that had happened your mum took me back to your place. So that is how I ended up at your place that night."

Tris is just staring at me. It is like I can see the cogs working in her brain, I'm sure I am about to be inundated with a million questions. I haven't even really got into all that had happened that night when my stomach starts to growl.

"Do you want something to eat?" I ask Tris.

She nods. I'm surprised she hasn't spoken yet. But there is so much still to say and she may just be working up the courage to ask, I'm not sure. "I can go and get us some dinner and bring it back here if you like," I say, I don't really want her to leave just yet. And I know there is so much more that needs to be said.

"That would be good Tobias, thank you," she says.

I get up and I'm about to walk towards the door when Tris says, "Tobias."

I stop and turn and she walks over to me and hugs me. "I'm sorry your father treated you the way he did, you didn't deserve that," she says.

I kiss her on the forehead and say, "thank you." I just stand there holding her, not wanting to let her go when her stomach starts to rumble. We both laugh and I say, "I better go and get us something to eat."

 **TRIS POV**

I'm sitting on the couch in Tobias' apartment waiting for him to bring me back some dinner. I am a little shocked at the things he has told me. I can't believe Marcus, we were always told what a wonderful man he was, I remember when the stories had come out in the newspaper. My mum and dad wouldn't speak about it. Looking back now I can see that they knew something but being from Abnegation they would never have had anything bad to say about someone else. That is probably why they didn't say anything.

I have so many questions I want to ask him but I'm not really sure how. He seemed like a little boy when he was telling me about his father. It was heartbreaking in a way. To know that he was living so close to me and no one had any idea what was really going on. We were all to blinded by what Marcus would tell us. He was always telling us that Tobias was sick and that was why he never came to dinner with Marcus. Or he would say that he hadn't been right since his mother had died, once I heard him call him immoral. Another time he had said, 'the boy is just strange, must have got it from his mother'.

I hope he is going to tell me what his premonition was. He had been calling me Tris ever since that night at my home. That night seems so long ago now, a lifetime ago. I wonder if it feels like that for him too. I hope he can tell me how I got the nickname. But from how upset he was that night I am positive that there are things I'm sure I don't want to hear. But if he is willing to tell me than maybe I need to know. I am broken from my thoughts when I hear Tobias entering the room.

"Did you get cake?" I ask, with a big grin on my face. I love Dauntless cake. It is absolutely amazing.

Tobias laughs at me and says, "of course I got cake. That would just be plain rude if I had not got us some cake." I love when Tobias laughs. It is like he is a totally different person, so much better than when he has his Four mask on. But I have to admit I do like his Four side. There is something strong and comforting about it, I know it doesn't make much sense but he makes me feel safe.

We decide to just eat while sitting on the couch. I have so much I want to ask but at this moment as we are eating the silence is easy. It doesn't feel awkward, I don't feel that I have to say anything just to fill the void. It's nice, like I have done this a million times before. Like we have been here like this forever. It is so strange feeling this way and I don't want it to stop.

We have finished eating and Tobias has cleared everything away. His whole apartment is spotless, I suppose coming from Abnegation he was used to keeping everything in order. It's not like sleeping next to Christina, she has her stuff everywhere. I don't understand it myself. I think I'm more like Tobias, used to everything being in order. Tobias comes and sits back down with me on the couch.

"Tris, there is so much I need to tell you, but I think I need you to let me just tell you all of it. I don't know how I will get through it if I don't. I know you are going to want to ask me a lot of questions and this is something you are probably going to need time to let it sink in. So I'm just going to tell you and please let me finish before you ask anything," he says.

"Okay. I will try to just listen," I say.

Tobias starts to speak and it is almost like he is taking me to a different world. What he had to go through, I can't believe that his mother is alive and just abandoned him like she did, not just in this premonition but for real. Who would do that to their own child? He has been through so much, I don't understand why he had to be given such horrid parents.

When he gets to my initiation and how some of what he has said had already come true. I am so thankful that he had Amar train me secretly. Thank goodness. The fact that Edward could still be stab with the knife or that I have to be careful that I don't end up being attacked by Peter, Drew and Al. How do I even stop any of this from happening I am thinking. I know when he gets to the part about my mother dying that I have tears in my eyes. I can't imagine my life without my mum. We may be in different factions now but it doesn't stop me from loving her.

I already have so many questions and we have only just got passed my initiation. We were in love, that is probably a bigger shock than my mum dying. How someone like Tobias could love me, I must have the weirdest look on my face. Not that I'm not happy about the whole idea, I have been attracted to Tobias for what feels like forever. But the fact it could actually happen.

I am taken away from my own thoughts when he tells me what I did to Will. Will is my friend and I can't imagine that I would ever be able to do such a thing. I know the tears have started to roll down my face when he tells me about what happened while he was in the sim. And once he tells me about my father I know that I have started to sob.

Tobias pulls me closer to him and hugs me. He is whispering in my ear, "it's okay it isn't going to happen this time. I promise, there are things that are being put in place so it doesn't have too happen." My sobs start to subside and I look up at Tobias. He is looking at me with such love in his eyes. I know I must look an absolute mess, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to kiss him.

"Do you want me to stop? I don't have to keep going if you don't want me too," he softly says.

I want him to stop but at the same time I want to keep going. I want to know what happens to us. I want to know what happens to my friends, to my enemies, to Chicago. It is like someone is reading a story to me. Like my parents would read when I was little. Where you would imagine that you were the little girl in the story and that you were on some big adventure. Although now it isn't just a story where you imagine you're in the book. Now I am the book. But this time we are rewriting the book. Every day we are getting the chance to make a change.

"Can I ask you just one question?" I ask. My tears have stopped now. I am looking up at him with hope that he will let me ask this one question.

He nods and I whisper, "you were really in love with me?"

"I am really in love with you Tris," he whispers back to me.

I don't know if he is moving closer to me or if I am moving closer to him, but next his lips are brushing with mine


	29. Chapter 29

**CHAPTER 29**

 **FOUR POV**

It is just like I am having my first kiss all over again. Technically it is my first kiss, this can all get confusing. Especially when my brain can't function at all with Tris this close to me.

At first we are both a little uncertain. We pull away and I am smiling, like I have never smiled before. Then I kiss her again this time more sure of it. It's not enough, I pull her closer, kiss her harder. She comes alive, putting her arms around me and leaning into me.

We pull away breathless. But it isn't enough, I kiss her again. My whole body is aching, not so long ago I thought I would never feel this again. We separate again and I pull away. I have to compose myself, because it would be so easy to lose myself in her, lose all self control and I know I have to try and show some restraint.

"Tris do you want me to keep going?" I ask. She looks at me nervously. "I mean with my story."

"No, I mean yes. I'm sorry Tobias this is all a little overwhelming. I do want you tell me, do you think you could hold me while you tell me?" Tris says.

We lay down on the couch in a similar position to how we were two years ago in her parents' home. It is making it easier to tell her the rest of the story with her in my arms. While she is making me feel stronger, able to tell her the crazy things that happened, it is also easier not to see her expression. The tears she shed before broke my heart, I hate to think that they were caused by my words.

I am getting close to the end, it is getting harder to form the words. Knowing I am about to tell her she died, knowing that it won't be her heart that is breaking this time but that mine was shattered into a million pieces. I hold her as close to me as I can as I try to get the words out.

"I got back to the Bureau and there was no one in sight. I knew that our plan had worked and that Caleb had succeeded in setting off the memory serum. As we walked through the abandoned security check point I thought I would see you there. But all I saw was Cara. Her face was badly bruised and she had a bandage on her head," I am telling Tris, my voice strained.

I can feel the tears starting to well up now, I'm so glad she can't see my face and I know if I was looking at me now I would see someone who was broken. Not broken like I was when I thought my mother had died. Not broken from the years of abuse from my father. This was an entirely different broken. The broken you get because it was your choice to love that person. The broken you get from your whole world ending. The broken you get knowing that you will never, ever, feel whole again.

"There was such a troubled look on Cara's face." This is when the first sob leaves my body. "Cara told us how you went into the weapons lab instead of Caleb. I kept looking at Cara hoping I could see something on her face that would tell me that she was lying. But I knew she wasn't."

I was sobbing now, I couldn't stop. It was stupid I know, Tris was here, lying in my arms. But the memory was so vivid, so powerful, and the fact is, it could so easily happen again. Here is my second chance, lying with me on my couch and I know that I can't lose her again, ever.

"I don't know how long it took me, but Cara took Christina and me to see your body," I say through sobs. Tris has turned and is now facing me.

"It's okay Tobias, I am right here," she says.

"You died Tris, you died and you left me and." I can't continue, I hug her tightly to my chest and I cry into her hair. The tears aren't just for Tris, they're for my shitty father, my mother and the fear that I have of losing Tris all over again. It's for the friends I could lose, it's for the life I want but know that one wrong decision and it could all be gone, again. The one good thing I have ever had in my life and she is here with me right now. I am so scared of losing her, I know I wouldn't survive if she didn't. 'You die, I die' just like I said to her in my nightmare is what comes to mind. And that scares me too, how would I cope if she wasn't here, if something did happen, I felt that grief for only a short amount of time and it was so over whelming and it is still haunting me. Having Tris here makes it more real, like someone is going to tap me on the shoulder and say, sorry you don't deserve this we are taking her back, good luck with your life.

I wake with a start. We must have fallen asleep. I look down to find Tris lying in my arms. She looks so peaceful. I try to move and her eyes open.

"Hey," she says.

"Hey."

She all of a sudden jumps up, "what is the time?" she asks.

I look at my watch, "its 2am."

She rises off the couch, leaving me feeling cold. "I should get back to dorm," she says.

"Tris just stay here, you can sneak back in just before training starts, and you will get a better night sleep here than in the dorms and you have to fight again today."

She nods and I walk her through to the back of the apartment to my bedroom. I am about to leave her when she grabs my arm, "stay with me?" she says. I look at her hesitantly and she looks at me with those beautiful eyes and says, "Please."

"Okay," I say. Like I could have said no. There is nothing I wouldn't do for this girl. She has no idea the power she has over me. I would die for her, over and over and over again.

We both get into the bed and we curl up in each others arms. I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from me but I am asleep before I can process just what that all means.


	30. Chapter 30

**CHAPTER 30**

 **FOUR POV**

My alarm goes off at 5:45am and I groan, I just want to stay in this position forever. I feel Tris stir and I remember what happened last night. All my secrets are out in the open. I still need to tell her about what is going on now, with Erudite about to invade Dauntless on their way to murdering as many Abnegation members as possible. But I don't want to think of that right now, I just want to curl back up and stay like this with Tris. Safe, warm and with this feeling of contentment.

I know we can't she has training with Amar to get too and I have my usual run. Plus if I'm on my run it means Tris can sneak out without Eric catching her. Hopefully he turns up for a run this morning, you never really know if he is going to be there or not. Although after yesterday's events in the training room, I'm sure he will want to be able to gloat.

"We really need to get up Tris," I say. "You have training with Amar in fifteen minutes."

"I know, you're not going back to sleep when I leave are you?" she asks.

"No I usually go for a run with Eric about now."

"What? You run with the guy who hates you?"

I chuckle at this, it does sound really ridiculous when you hear someone else say it. Probably because no one else knows that we run together most mornings, I've never had to hear it out loud.

"I know, it just sort of happened. The day after we were assigned our apartments we were both outside about to go for a run and so we just started running together. From there it is something we just do now," I say, trying to make it sound, I don't know normal maybe.

I get out of bed and go into the bathroom and change into my running gear. When I get out I see Tris is still in bed. "I don't think Amar will be happy if you aren't in the training room in about eight minutes," I say with a smile.

She gets out of bed and we walk into the lounge room. She is putting her shoes on when there is a loud bang, bang, bang at my door. "Hurry up Four, I'm not waiting all day. I've got things to do, initiates to scare the shit out off. Get a move on," Eric is shouting at my door and pounding on it again. "Coming," I shout back.

"You should be free to leave in about two minutes," I say. I turn and give her a quick peck on the cheek and walk out the door.

"What is wrong with you, you are always up before me. You finally banging someone are you?" Eric says with a smile on his face.

Errgh he makes it sound so cheap. He really is vile. I hope Max has found enough on his computer to finally bring him down and out of Dauntless for good.

I walk down to breakfast in a good mood. I find Zeke, Shauna and Lauren all sitting together at our usual table. I sit down and I know I have a smile on my face. I just can't seem to wipe it off my face.

"Morning," I say. Probably a little too cheery for me.

"Well look who is in a good mood today," Shauna says.

"Not as good of a mood as I am in, I'm sure," Zeke says, smiling at me with a raised eyebrow.

"You just finished nightshift Zeke, usually you're tired and grumpy from being up all night," Shauna says.

"Well I had probably my most interesting shift ever. Right as I was about to leave I saw the most interesting thing on the screens up in the leaders apartments hallway," Zeke says, still smiling.

My face has dropped, there goes that smile. I know what is coming next.

Zeke looks directly at me as he says, "Saw the cutest little blond coming out of someone's apartment early this morning, didn't I Four?"

I glare at him, trying to act normal. "Really Zeke are you sure you weren't seeing things, you know how being up all night can play tricks on your brain," I say.

Shauna and Lauren have caught on to what we are talking about and both their mouths are wide open. This is not going to be good, there are going to be a lot of questions that I'm not ready to answer.

"Four," shrieks Shauna at the top of her voice. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

I am still glaring at Zeke who is now laughing at me. I could just get up and hit him but that would probably cause even more Dauntless to turn their attention to us. Shauna's yelling has already had half the dining hall turn around and look at us.

I pick up a muffin and rise from the table. I'm not ready to talk about this and I need to keep this quiet, at least until initiation is over. I start to walk out of the dining hall when Zeke starts walking with me. He says, "Don't worry I deleted the footage before I got off shift, but you owe me details man." I turn and look at him and shake my head. There is no way I am sharing the details with Zeke, not now, not ever. Well probably not, it's not like he doesn't know about my feelings for her.

I walk into the training room. Glad that today is the last day of fights. Also a little excited because tomorrow is visiting day. Natalie is coming for our usual Visiting Day lunch at Hana's, I haven't told Tris. I thought I would surprise her. It will be the first time that I will have been able to see Natalie since Andrew took over as the leader of Abnegation.

I have been writing the names on the blackboard with the fight matchups when I see Tris come into the training room. She seemed happy when I left her this morning but something has definitely changed since then. I put Molly's name next to Tris' and I am sure I see almost a smile come over her face. I don't know what has happened but the look that Tris has makes me think I would not want to be Molly today.

I'm standing watching the fights. I'm leaning on the wall not really paying that much attention to what is going on, I'm so bored with the match up of Will and Myra that I start yawning. Eric has turned up. Hopefully this is the last I will see of him for the rest of initiation. Only a little while longer now and he should be getting arrested with the other Dauntless and Erudite traitors. I wonder if Tris likes running, I'm going to need a new running partner. I'll have to remember to ask her.

Al and Christina fight next. This isn't going to take long, Al is useless. I wonder what Eric's reaction will be. Then I look towards Eric and can see him shaking his head, yep Al isn't getting back up. Edward and Peter are next, I know that Eric has been excited about this match up. Edward has wiped the floor of Peter, easily. Next up is Tris and Molly.

Molly has just said something to Tris, I can't hear what she has said but I can see the look in Tris' eyes. Molly may be smirking now but I doubt it will last long. The fight is going in Tris' favour and now she has sweep-kicked Molly's legs from under her. Tris doesn't look like she is ever going to stop as she kicks Molly in the ribs, as Molly curls herself into a ball to try and protect her side, Tris kicks her in the stomach and then in her face. I start moving towards the ring and she kicks her again in the chest. Tris is just about to kick her again when I clamp my hands around her arms and pull her away from Molly before she can inflict any more damage.

"You won," I say. "Stop."

I am shocked at what I am seeing. Tris is wiping sweat from her forehead when I say, "I think you should leave, take a walk."

"I'm fine," she's says.

She seems a little calmer now, before I let go of her I ask, "Can you meet me near the chasm after dinner?"

She just nods and walks away. I think the best thing is to leave her for now. She definitely needs a little more time to cool off.

I grab a quick lunch in the dining hall, I need to go down to the armoury and see about the explosives I am going to need. I will also need extra guns and ammo. I need to think of an excuse for why I would need all the extra guns.

As I'm finishing my lunch Shauna comes and sits next to me. "So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" She asks.

I just shake my head. Shauna looks around making sure that no one can hear what she is saying and whispers, "this is the same girl from the high school isn't it?"

I just nod. I know I'm not really going to be able to keep this from Shaun.

"You couldn't wait until after initiation?" She says with a smile. "Two years and you're not interested in anyone and then you decide to break all the rules."

"It isn't like that Shauna and Max knows. Plus I didn't know there were any rules about this."

"You told Max before you told me," she says acting hurt, holding her hands to her heart.

I laugh, it is funny I suppose. Not just when you're living it. "It's complicated Shauna, I didn't mean for anything to happen until initiation was over but I couldn't stop myself. I tried to stay away but I just couldn't."

Shauna is smiling at me, "I'm happy for you Four. Just be careful, you know Eric is watching your every move. He would like nothing better than to bring you down."

"Thanks," I say as I get up from the table. Time to talk to the boys in the armoury.

I get down to the armoury and one of my initiates from last year is on duty. This should help.

"Hey Tom, how are you?" I say.

"Four, man good to see you," he says. He is a couple of inches taller than me now. I look at him and I think how much he has grown in the last year. "Max told me you would be coming down here. I have everything you need."

"That's great Tom. But I am going to need a few more things." I say.

"Not a problem, do you want this all kept quiet, just like Max?" he asks.

"I do. I do."

"Okay, well what do you need and when do you want them."

"I am going to need as many guns and ammo that you can fit in those two bags over there," I say pointing to the two bags that are sitting on a shelf behind him. "I am going to need them two days before initiation finishes."

"Not a problem, I can fix that all up. But I am going to need them back on the last day of initiation. Eric came in here almost busting a blood vessel the other day. Wanting to know how many guns we had and how can he get his hands on more. I don't know what's up with him, he wanted enough guns to supply the whole of Dauntless. So as long as you have them back everything should be fine. Eric won't be back before you have returned them, so it all should be good."

"Thanks Tom, I'll see you soon. And please keep this between us, I don't need Eric annoying me over this," I say and walk out the door.


	31. Chapter 31

**CHAPTER 31**

 **TRIS POV**

I walk into the Pit hoping to see my parents. I see Christina with a dark-skinned Candor women and a little girl, this must be her mum and sister. Next to her is Will. He is standing with a woman in a blue dress. I'm sure that this must be his sister she looks too young to be his mother.

I spot Drew and Molly, you can see by the look on their faces that their families haven't come to Visiting Day. Peter's parents are here. I am feeling disheartened, and then I see Uriah waving at me from across the Pit. He has a big grin on his face and I start to walk towards him.

The Pit is such a hive of activity today. I finally reach Uriah and he says, "Come on, Four has a surprise for you."

We don't talk as I follow him out of the Pit and into an area of the Dauntless compound that I haven't been to before. We start to walk down a corridor and I can see numbers on all the doors we are passing. This must be another area of Dauntless where the apartments are. I have only ever been to Fours' apartment and that is in the leader's wing. We reach a door and Uriah looks at me with a big smile on his face. I'm getting nervous now. Uriah knocks on the door, I can hear footsteps and then the door is opened.

I stand there in shock as it is Four standing in the door way, Uriah pushes past him and into the apartment. Four takes my hand and ushers me into the apartment. Once the door is closed he gives me a hug and says, "come in, I have a surprise for you." He lets out a small laugh; he can see the look of confusion on my face.

As Four moves out of the way, I look into the apartment and I see Uriah, Zeke and a woman I think is their mum, Hana. There is another woman standing next to Hana, she is dressed in Dauntless black and it takes me a moment to realise that it is my mum. "Mum," I yell. I run straight into her arms for what is the biggest hug I have ever had. I am so excited to see her and stunned to see her in black instead of gray.

 **FOUR POV**

Watching Tris with her mum is heart warming. I also have a slight tinge of jealousy as I watch their interactions. Jealous that I don't have this with my own mother and also that the last two years I've been able to have this day with Natalie all to myself. But as usual Natalie has always made me feel like I am part of her family. And I can't really be jealous of Tris, I love seeing her this happy.

I sit and watch as Tris and her mum catch up. Zeke and Uriah are acting their usual crazy selves. We are just about to sit and have lunch when I see a copy of the Erudite newspaper on Hanas coffee table. I hadn't been in my office in the last few days, with initiation keeping me so busy, so the front page news comes as a bit of a shock.

I start to read the front page story. Natalie sees what I am looking at and says, "Andrew has been getting some new faction rules put into place." Everyone looks at Natalie and she says, "It has been decided that we can't keep sending people too factionless. From now on criminals are going to be set up in proper jails. Having criminals running around the streets is not safe for anyone, especially the factionless who are innocent."

It makes sense, I never did understand why they would just become factionless. I'm sure my father never wanted to change the rules, especially with my mother being factionless. He was probably hoping some harm would have come to her.

"They have also decided that no initiates can become factionless. Unless they choose this for themselves. They are putting a plan into effect so that they can go back to school until the next Choosing Ceremony. They can then choose a new faction; if they fail for a second time then they will become factionless. Andrew is trying to clean the city up, give everyone more opportunity to succeed. But he is having trouble with some sections of the factionless," Natalie says.

There is only one person that I can think of that would be giving him trouble. Evelyn. I am sure that Natalie knows this too, but is not about to spill my screwed up family secrets to others.

We have been having an amazing lunch when Hana speaks up, "so Four you must have a lot you need to catch Natalie up on."

"I do Hana, but I think it is time that we share what is going on with everyone here," I say.

She nods her head to me as Zeke and Uriah both have puzzled looks on their faces. Hana knows that her boys will want to be part of whatever is going to happen. They are true Dauntless and they will do everything they can to uphold their factions beliefs. We now have enough information on what Erudite are planning that I don't have to recount my nightmare at all.

So I begin, "Erudite are planning on over throwing Abnegation."

"What?" Zeke asks.

"Erudite are planning to over throw Abnegation. They plan to put Dauntless under simulation and have us murder the Abnegation for them," I say.

Zeke and Uriah are stunned. Hana, Natalie and Tris all know about what has been happening, so we sit and give Zeke and Uriah a minute to absorb what has been said.

"What are we going to do about it?" Uriah asks.

"We are going to blow shit up," I say with a huge grin on my face. It isn't going to be that simple but I know that the Zeke and Uriah will love this idea. Especially when they shout, "Yeah." At the same time. Tris and I are both laughing at their response but Hana is just shaking her head.

There is still so much planning to do but I am at least able to give them a brief rundown of what is going to be happening. They both want in on as much action as they can get. "I will organise a time for all of us to meet so we can go through the whole plan together, until then we need to keep everything as quiet as possible for the next few days until I have everything in place," I say.

"Natalie have you been able to get a safe house ready in case we fail?" I ask, turning to Natalie.

"We have a safe house set up in the basement of the building on the intersection of North and Fairfield," Natalie says.

"So for now we just go about life as normal. Zeke I'll let you know when we are meeting, I'm sure Shauna is going to want to be part of this plan. Just don't tell her anything until you have too."

"Uriah you need to talk to the Dauntless born initiates that you trust. Marlene and Lynn are going to want to be part of this, you will know who else can be trusted in your group," I say to Uriah, he just nods.

"I need to get going," Natalie says. She stands and walks to the door and gives both Tris and I hugs. "Be brave," she says.

I give Tris a hug knowing that it must have been hard to let her mum go. I turn back and I say, "Hana, Zeke I need to talk to Uriah and Tris alone."

Hana and Zeke just nod and leave the room.

"Stage two starts tomorrow. We need to go over a few things so that we can get you both through this without anyone finding out you are Divergent," I say. Even though we are planning to be bring down Jeanine Matthews before the attack on Abnegation, we can't have any suspicions raised on either Uriah or Tris, we don't know how far the threat runs inside of Erudite.

"How did you know Four?" Uriah asks, he is more serious now, almost sombre.

"It's my job to know Uriah. I need to keep you both safe. I need you to go through your fear simulations like a Dauntless would. When you are in there you are going to be aware that it isn't real. I need you to think of ways of either getting through by either calming yourself or find a way that gets you out without manipulating the sim. I will be running all the sims, so if I have too, I can delete the footage and enter your results manually. But if I don't have to do that, then it will be safer for all of us. Eric is going to be watching. He won't be in the room but he has access to the files and I am sure he will be looking. You are both going to be able to get through this faster than the other initiates, this is going to set alarm bells off. Eric is going to become interested once this happens. Jeanine will also have the data. So you need to slow down while you are in the simulation and think about what you are doing."

We sit for awhile longer discussing ways to get through stage two without detection. I know their fears because I have seen them before, so I am able to give them tips on how to get through it all without detection. We may be cheating, but it doesn't matter, I just need to keep them both safe. Especially when I remember how I failed them both so miserably while we were at the bureau. I know they both got through initiation fine last time but this time it all has so much more meaning for me. I need to know that I will never have to go outside the fence that I will never have to take Tris and Uriah outside the fence. That I will never have to attend their funerals, and that I will not let Zeke down.

After spending the day with everyone at Hanas' home I go up to my office to see what is happening with the new rules that Abnegation have implemented. I walk in to see Max and I find Max and the other three leaders in his office.

"Glad you are here," Max says. "We are all just discussing what we need to do about the initiates now we can't officially cut any one to the end of training."

I look around and can see that Eric is looking extremely disappointed. He always gets a sick thrill out of kicking failed initiates out.

"Who cares about the new rules, let's just kick them out. What is Abnegation going to do about it anyway? They won't be around for much longer anyway," Eric says.

"There is no use upsetting the factions over this Eric. If you want your plan to be followed through you need to show some restraint. It will only mean that the ones we don't want will be here a few days longer. Then they will be sent to Erudite, they are setting up a boarding type school to house the failed initiates. This is where they will stay to the next Choosing Ceremony. I just hope that the failed initiates don't choose to try to come through Dauntless again," Max says.

I will have to make a note to tell Andrew to get that put into the new law. We shouldn't have failed initiates trying to come back through training. I also need to talk to him about the factionless kids; we really need to look at giving them more opportunities. They don't get a chance to choose or any form of schooling. We should really try to change this.

"So Four, you can go and give the initiates the good news that they will all get to stay here a little bit longer. Just give them a progress report of where they are ranked now and at the end of stage two. Then explain that if they fail they will be going to boarding school until the next Choosing Ceremony. I almost think factionless may be better that spending time in an Erudite boarding school, what a bloody nightmare that would be," Max says with a laugh.

I leave Max and the other leaders, I am sure they are going through the plans for the Abnegation attack. I walk into my office to see if there is anything important on my desk. There is a note from Max to meet him tomorrow morning in his apartment. I know he will want to finalise how we are going to stop Erudite. There is nothing important on my desk, nothing that can't wait until initiation is finished. So I head down to the transfers dorm so that I can give them their rankings.

I have just written the rankings on the blackboard as the initiates start to file into the room. Once I see everyone is there I begin. "As of today there are some new rules regarding becoming Dauntless members. No longer will the lowest ranked initiates be cut at the end of stage one. From now on the cuts will be made after stage three is complete. At the end of stage one and two I will be giving you a progress ranking. While it is possible to move up the rankings between stages one and two it is extremely difficult to do."

"After stage three only the top ten initiates will become Dauntless members. Whoever does not make the final cut will not become factionless; instead you will go to Erudite, where they have set up a boarding school that you will attend until the next Choosing Ceremony. Then you will have an opportunity to choose a new faction. If you don't want this opportunity then you will become factionless. So I suggest you either work hard to stay here or find a new faction and work harder than you did here to get in there."

After that long winded speech I turn the board around to reveal just where everyone is ranked.

Edward

Tris

Will

Peter

Molly

Christina

Drew

Al

Myra

As I am walking out of the room I can see that Peter is not happy. I now have three initiates ranked ahead of Peter that I am going to have to worry about. The look that was on his face wasn't just showing that he wasn't happy, it showed that he will do whatever he can to make that top spot his own. I am going to have to make sure I am down here when the lights go out, to try and stop what I would expect to be an attack on Edward.

I have just left my apartment to go down to the initiate's dorm when I see Eric opening the door to his apartment. "Four it's a bit late for you to be out isn't it?" Eric says.

I try to ignore him he is just trying to get a rise out of me.

"What sneaking out to go and see your little girlfriend are you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Eric," I say.

"Don't think I don't know you got Amar to train her, Four. We all know you're not that good of a trainer. There is no way she would have won her fights with you as her trainer, we both know it."

"Sounds to me like you may be a little afraid of her Eric," I reply with a smile on my face. I should have probably kept walking but I can't help but goad him just a little.

"It won't matter Four, her family will be dead soon and that should be enough to wipe the smile off your face," he says.

I can't let him know that we are going to stop the attack; I have to keep calm now. "Faction before blood Eric, isn't that what you are always telling everyone," I say. And with that I walk off before he has a chance to say anything else to me. I need to get to the dormitory and stop Peter from attacking anyone tonight.

I walk into the dorm room to find what can only be described as chaos. The lights are on; all the initiates are out of bed and are huddle around someone on the floor. There is a blood curdling scream ringing through the room. As I walk further into the room the initiates move out of the way to let me through.

Edward is lying next to his bed; it is his screaming I am hearing, mixed with Myra's screams. Someone is standing in the corner vomiting. I see Tris crouching next to Edward, talking to him. Edward has a butter knife sticking out of his eye. I tell Will to go and get help from the infirmary and I rush over to Edward.

I can't believe that I was too late. If I hadn't let Eric stop me I could have been down here and stopped this from happening. I crouch on the other side of Edward and just listen as Tris is doing such a good job of keeping Edward from taking the knife out of his eye. I don't have words; the guilt is washing over me. I am broken from my thoughts when the nurse comes and they take Edward to the infirmary.

Tris is covered in blood; Christina has come over and is taking her to change her clothes. "Are you okay?" I ask. It seems a stupid question, how anyone who just witnessed what happened could be okay.

She just nods. "I have to go and talk to Max and I am going to need to go and check on Edward, will you be okay here?" I ask.

Again Tris just nods. "I will come back and check on you as soon as I can. I will find someone to come and clean up this mess. Try and get some rest."

I walk out of the dorm and go straight to Max. I'm sure he is not going to like me waking him in the middle of the night but I have an idea I need to run past him. I know it was Peter who did this. I can't prove this but I can try and have Edward stay in Dauntless.

Max opens his door after only two knocks. "Max I'm sorry to bother you so late but we have had a problem in the transfers dorm," I say.

He motions me into his apartment. "What's happened?"

"Edward was stabbed with a butter knife in the eye," I say.

"Will he survive?"

"I think so. Max I want to ask that we don't throw him out of Dauntless. I know the new rules are in place so he won't have to become factionless but I think we should try and help him to stay. He is our top ranked transfer"

"How do you think we should do that Four?"

"I think we should reassess his knife throwing and shooting skills. While I am taking the initiates through their fear simulations Lauren or Eric could reassess his skills. If he is still competent in shooting and throwing a knife, then unless he falls out of the top ten during stage two and three, he should be able to stay and become a Dauntless member. Unless he decides he doesn't want to stay," I say.

"I think that's a good plan, go and see how he is doing. Tell him what we are planning. You can tell me what he has decided at our meeting. Goodnight Four."

"Night Max," I say. As I start my walk to the infirmary.

I sat with Edward for a long time. Myra was with us. I was able to explain to them both the plan we had been able to put in place for Edward to stay. It wasn't easy but in the end Edward agreed to stay. It was the best way for him to get the medical attention he needed. Now that the fights were over it meant that he could have time to rest and recuperate. It doesn't look like Myra will pass initiation anyway so he may still decide to leave. But it does make me feel a little better knowing that I have helped to keep him here, I still feel guilty that I didn't get there in time to stop the attack.

When I see that something like this has happened it makes me worried. Worried that maybe I can't change the things I want to change. Are certain things going to happen no matter what we know? Is the future set? Are we just stopping the inevitable? Does this mean that I will lose Tris? No matter how hard I try to stop it from happening, will it happen anyway? This makes me think of Will, Uriah and Tori. There is also Marlene and Lynn, there are so many, I feel like the list just keeps getting longer and longer in my head. That is without even thinking of the people that I don't know, that could die as well.

I am totally exhausted. I go to see Tris, I can see her lying on her bunk, she looks like she is sleeping. I don't want to disturb her. I'm sure no one is getting much sleep in there tonight. I wish I could just wake up Tris, Will and Christina and bring them up to my apartment, it's not like I don't have the room, but I know I can't. It would give me less stress, knowing they were all safe. But how safe are any of us really?


	32. Chapter 32

**CHAPTER 32**

 **TRIS POV**

I have a day off from training today. Thank goodness. I am happy that stage one is finally over. Tobias is having meetings today so I can't spend any time with him. I know he is trying to organise the plan against Erudite. I am still trying to get my head around everything he told me. If I had been told what was going to happen before I had come to Dauntless I don't think I would have believed any of it. But now, since I have been here, hearing what Tobias told me and seeing how people like Eric and Peter are, I am able to accept what he has told me.

Being in Dauntless it changes you. It is so different to Abnegation, I thought I was coming here because I wanted the freedom that I associated with Dauntless. Now I see that it doesn't matter what faction you are in, you are never exactly how you imagined they would be. How you thought it would be for you. I know I picked the right faction, not just because I wanted freedom but it has taught me so much more than I could have ever learned in my old faction.

I have only been here such a short amount of time but in that time I have been able to have friendships, I am able to have time for me, I have learnt how to defend myself and I've even had my first kiss. Thinking of that kiss brings a smile to my face. I haven't really been looking at where I was going; I've just been walking lost in my thoughts. I hear my name and I look up to see I am back in the dormitory.

"Hi Al," I say. He is sitting on his bed, he looks upset.

I sit down next to Al on his bed. "How are you?" I ask.

Al shakes his head like he doesn't want to answer the question. I just sit here with him when he finally speaks. "I don't think I'm going to make it here," he says.

"You don't know that Al, we have only just finished stage one, there are two more stages to go."

"I lost every fight but the first one, my ranking is really low. I couldn't even face my parents yesterday. Dad always wanted me to come here. I mean, they said they wanted me stay in Candor, but that's only because that's what they're supposed to say. They've always admired the Dauntless, both of them," he says.

"Is that why you chose Dauntless? Because of your parents?"

"No. I guess it was because . . . I think it's important to protect people. To stand up for people. Like you did for me." He smiles at me. "That's what the Dauntless are supposed to do right? That's what courage is. Not . . . hurting people for no reason."

"Maybe it will be better once initiation is over."

"Too bad I might come in last."

"You never know, plus you won't have to worry about being factionless now," I say. Trying to find a positive for Al.

We sit in silence for a while, when Al says, "I feel braver when I'm around you, you know. Like I could actually fit in here, the same way you do."

I am about to respond when he slides his arm across my shoulders. Suddenly I freeze, my cheeks hot. I didn't want to be right about Al's feelings for me. But I was.

I sit forward so his arm falls away. I squeeze my hands together in my lap.

"Tris, I ...," he says. His voice sounds strained, I glance at him. His face is as red as mine feels, but he's not crying – he just looks embarrassed.

"Um . . . sorry," he says. "I wasn't trying to . . . um. Sorry."

I wish I could tell him not to take it personally. But I know that isn't true. I breathe in, and when I breathe out, I make myself smile. "Sorry about what?" I ask, trying to sound casual. I stand up.

"I should go," I say.

"I'll see you later, Tris," Al says.

I try not to walk out of the room too fast. But I am glad when I hear the door close behind me. I just keep walking until I find myself sitting in a hallway that I don't recognise. I feel like I should bring my bedding here, that way I won't have to see Al and I won't have to smell the blood or bleach that the dormitory now smells like.

"Tris?"

I look up to see Uriah standing in front of me. He waves the Dauntless-born initiates that he is with.

"You okay?" he says.

"Just a long couple of days."

He nods his head, he has experienced some of what I have with all the information Tobias has thrown at us. I feel a bond with Uriah, both being Divergent, he feels like a brother to me.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asks with a small grin on his face.

"Where are you going?"

"To a little initiation ritual," he says. "Come on. We have to hurry.

I get back from zip lining and I can't believe how much fun I have had. I still smell like wind when I walk into the cafeteria that evening. For the second after I walk in, I stand among a crowd of Dauntless, and I feel like one of them. Then Shauna waves to me and the crowd breaks apart, and I walk toward the table where Christina, Al and Will sit, gaping at me. I think I am going to have a lot of explaining to do. Oh well, it will work out, I'm sure of it.

I see Tobias walk into the cafeteria and he has gone and sat with Zeke and Shauna. I feel a pang of jealousy that I am unable to go and sit with them. I just need to survive the next two stages of training and then I will be able to sit with them too. Then I will be truly Dauntless.

I finish my dinner and tell Christina that I am going to take a walk. I know I am meeting Tobias in our spot down at the Chasm once he has finished dinner. So I decide to go there early so I have some time just to think. I sit on the rocks listening to the water as it pounds the rocks. I find the sound of the water calming; I close my eyes and feel the spray, enjoying the solitude of this place.

I'm taken from my thoughts when I see a smiling Tobias standing next to me. I didn't hear him until he spoke, lost in my own thoughts. "I hear you had an adventure with the Dauntless-borns today," he says. I smile back at him as he sits next to me.

"It was amazing Tobias, I wish you were there," I say.

He laughs and says, "That is not going to happen, but I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"Shauna didn't stop talking about you at dinner. Zeke was almost as bad. I can't wait until your initiation is over so we can all just hang out," he says.

We sit and talk for hours. It's nice to have this time together, getting to know each other, laughing, kissing. I feel like I am finally able to be a teenager, it is something that I wouldn't have been able to have in Abnegation. There is so much that is frowned upon there, I think it would have broken my spirit if I had stayed. Here I feel alive. I have friends, I have Tobias, I am free to laugh and joke. I can wear whatever clothes I want, as long as they are black. There is so much for me to love about Dauntless, I just hope we are able to keep it this way. After what Tobias told me I pray that we don't have to go through it. If we can stop Jeanine and Erudite maybe we will have a chance at a life together.


	33. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER 33**

 **FOUR POV**

Stage two has started today. Watching the initiates fears borders on hilarious to overwhelming terror. By the end of the day I have watched one after another of their fears and it makes me feel like my skin has been scraped raw with sandpaper.

Usually my day is done once all the initiates have completed their fear simulation. Not this time. I have plans to make and people to rally so that we can over throw the Erudite that will soon be in the Dauntless compound. There are only a few more days until it will all go down.

My meeting with Max was productive. He has been able to get all the information he needs on both Eric and Jeanine. Once this is all over we will only have two leaders in Dauntless. It is a sad thought to think that three of the five leaders we have are corrupt. I know that I made the right decision to become a leader now, if I hadn't I think I know how this would have all played out. It still surprises me that Max isn't the monster I once thought he was going to be. We are going to need three new leaders. I will have to talk to Max about that. I think Tori and Harrison would be great for the jobs. Now I just need to find a third.

Five days straight of watching the initiates fears and now stage two is over. Time to let the initiates know their rankings. I walk into the dormitory to find Eric standing with the board and he is about to turn it. The room has fallen silent as they read the results.

Tris

Peter

Edward

Christina

Will

Drew

Molly

Myra

Al

I look at Tris and I can see the worry etched on her face. We both know that she is now the number one target for Peter. I am going to have to keep careful watch on the dormitory at night. I am also going to have to warn Tris not to leave the room at night. The more people she is around the less chance she will have of being attacked. Zeke is on nights so I can have him watching from the control room, it is still a long way between the control room and the dormitory if there is trouble. I give Tris a small smile as I leave to go to the cafeteria for some lunch.

Shauna joins me for lunch and we sit mostly in a comfortable silence. Shauna has just come from a week of patrolling at the fence. I'm glad she will be here for the next few days. She is a great shot and I am going to need her help when we take down the Erudite plans. I am feeling warn out and will be glad when all of this is over.

Once we finish we walk out of the dining hall and see Zeke calling us from across the pit.

"Hey!" he says. He's spinning a roll of tape around his finger. "Want to go punch something?"

"Yes," Shauna and I say in unison.

We walk toward the training room and I think I hear voices coming from inside. I open the door with my foot and see Tris, Uriah, Lynn and Marlene. I think it is funny that both Tris and I are from Abnegation but the Dauntless-born friends we have are related. With Uriah and Zeke, and Shauna and Lynn. It is strange how we are drawn together. That of all the initiates in both our years, it is Tris and I who have mixed best with the Dauntless-borns. I suppose because it is so rare to see an Abnegation transfer, I wonder if it would be like this with other Abnegation transfers or would it only be Tris and I.

"Let's have some fun," I say with a grin on my face. Everyone turns to look at me. "Guns or knives?"

They are all looking at me like I have gone mad. "Let's have a competition; do you want to play with guns or knives?" I say.

There is a chorus of "Guns," yelled from everyone. So I walk over to the gun cabinet and unlock the door. I start passing guns out to everyone and a box of ammunition for each of us. I haven't seen Uriah or the other Dauntless-borns shoot so this will be good to see who will be best for what job when I put the Erudite plan in place.

We all line ourselves up at a target and start firing. All seven of us are able to hit the bullseye or within an inch of it. I decide this is all too easy for us so I say, "let's make this more of a challenge, swap arms, use your non dominant arm. See if you can hit the target then."

I often practise using both arms, its good practise and it makes it all a bit more challenging. Watching everyone else has me laughing so much I can't shoot. Tris is really serious, it is written all over her face. At least she hit the target the first time. I have no idea where Uriah's bullet hit but it wasn't on the target. I'm glad there wasn't anyone else in the training room because bullets were flying everywhere. By the time we had used all the ammunition everyone had at least hit the inner ring of their target.

We cleaned up the training room and all walked out still laughing and joking. I make sure I am walking next to Tris as we walk out of the training room. I move us a little away from the group and whisper to her, "be careful, Peter is going to be after you now. You need to make sure you are always with someone. Don't leave the dormitory at night by yourself. Peter is dangerous, I have no doubt he will do whatever he can to harm you."

Tris nods. "Well I think you better walk me back to the dormitory then," Tris says.

I nod. And we walk back to the dormitory. I pray I can keep her safe.


	34. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER 34**

 **TRIS POV**

I am lying in bed but I can't sleep. I know that I can't leave this room by myself, it is too dangerous. I keep remembering what happened to Edward, no one knew it was happening until after he had been attacked. I finally start to drift off when I feel a hand go over my mouth. I am about to try to move my arms or legs but someone is holding my arms and another is holding my legs. A blindfold is put over my eyes and I can't see who is attacking me.

This can't be happening. I can't move, I am being carried out of the dormitory. I am sure they will take me to the chasm. But I am strong, the only person who might be able to beat me is Edward and I know he wouldn't be doing this. Not after he was attacked so violently. As I am being carried I start to wriggle seeing if I have any way to have someone let go of me.

I want to bite the hand of the person who has the hand over my mouth but I am frightened I would then be dropped straight onto my head. Then I remember, Tobias told me that Zeke is in the control room, he will be able to see what is happening on the monitors. I need to struggle, I need to give Zeke enough time to get help.

I start to thrash. I am moving my body like a caterpillar does, as it moves across a leaf. Not in the fluid movement that they make but as violently as I can. Whoever is holding my legs isn't as strong as the other two. I start to try and kick and finally my attacker lets my legs go. Now my feet are being dragged along the ground. I keep kicking hoping that I can inflict some sort of damage to whoever is there.

"Oomph," a female voice says, as I kick them in the stomach. I keep kicking out and the person who was holding a hand over my mouth lets go. I start screaming as loud as I can. As I am about to scream again I feel a fist connect with my stomach. I am momentarily winded and this gives my attackers time to punch me again. This time they hit me in my jaw.

I am still being dragged along and the hand is back over my mouth so I can't scream. I keep trying to kick and this time whoever was holding my arms has let go and they have tripped over. I can't see where I am going and I stumble over the person who has fallen. I hit my head hard on the rocky path. I take the blindfold off and can now see my three attackers. Peter, Drew and Molly. I am trying to get off Drew when Molly grabs me by my ponytail and yanks me back to the ground. While I am on the ground Peter repeatedly kicks me in my stomach and ribs.

I don't have anything covering my mouth and I start to scream again. Not from the pain, I am screaming so that Zeke and Tobias or anyone can hear where I am. I am starting to get dizzy now. I know I'm not going to last much longer when I hear footsteps running towards me. I just see Tobias, who is fighting with Peter, before my world goes dark

 **FOUR POV**

I am sitting at my dining table with the plans for the warehouse spread over the long table when I hear banging at my door. I know this isn't a friendly visit as the banging is loud and quick. I open the door to find Zeke breathless. I don't need any words from him, I just say, "let's go."

We run out of my room and down towards the chasm because I know this is where they would be taking her. I see the three figures all attacking something, or should I say someone. I know it is someone and I know it is going to be Tris. I pull Molly away from her first and quickly punch her in the face knocking her out. I then go for Peter while Zeke is laying into Drew.

Neither Peter nor Drew provides much resistants and we have quickly knocked them both out. Just as we have finished the Dauntless guards that Zeke had alerted from the control room have arrived. "I want these three put into holding cells, they are out. I don't know what the new procedure is going to be but just lock them up. I will deal with them tomorrow."

I walk over to Tris. She is unconscious. I lift her up into my arms and I turn to Zeke. "Thanks man, I am so glad you were watching."

"No worries Four. Are you going to take her to the infirmary?"

"Yes, I need her to get checked out by a doctor, we have them in custody so she will be safe there," I say. "Can you make a recording of all the video footage you have of the attack? Send a copy to Max and leave a copy on my desk for me."

"I will do it straight away. I'm sorry Four, I wish we could have stopped them sooner," Zeke says.

"They must have grabbed her from her bed. There wasn't anything more you could have done. I should have made her stay with me."

I walk to the infirmary with Tris in my arms. I can't believe I let this happen; I should have been there for her. I should have protected her. I open the door to the infirmary and call out to the nurse on duty that I need some help.

The nurse rushes from behind the desk and asks me to follow her. It's the same nurse that was working last time Tris was brought in here. I think her name is Kate; I should really take more notice of peoples' names. We are ushered into a room with only a single bed in the room. I place Tris on the bed. Kate says, "I will go and get the doctor for you Four, it has been a slow night so he will be able to see her straight away."

I sit in the chair next to the bed Tris is in. I am holding her hand willing her to wake up. I can't shake the feeling that this is all my fault. I should have been more careful, I should have been there for her. The door swings open and a tall man in a white coat walks in. "Hi, I'm Doctor Roberts," he says, holding out his hand to shake mine.

"Four," is all I say.

"What's happened here Four?"

"She was attacked by three initiates, she blacked out just after I got there," I say.

"Four I am going to need you to wait in the waiting room while I examine . . .."

"Tris," I say. "Her name is Tris."

Okay, Four I need you to wait outside until I have examined Tris, I will come and get you when we are finished," Doctor Roberts says.

I walk out of the room and start pacing the waiting room. I should have let her stay with me. I should have protected her. How could I have been so stupid? Peter is cunning, Peter is a psychopath. I should have known better. I am broken from my thoughts with a door opening. Zeke walks in.

"How is she Four?" Zeke asks.

"The doctor is checking her out now, they kicked me out of the room," I say. I keep pacing, I can't stay still. The wait is killing me.

"Dude you need to sit down," Zeke says.

Did you get everything done?"

"All done," Zeke says.

"Thanks Zeke," I say.

"It's my fault Zeke, I should have done something. I should have."

"Stop Four, just stop. You can't blame yourself. There were three of them and they took her from her bed. She fought hard. She is tough, she will be fine. Stop beating yourself up over this. We got there as soon as we could. Just sit down," says Zeke.

I'm about to say something when Doctor Roberts walks into the room. "Four, Tris is fine, she has been extremely lucky. She is awake and we have given her some pain medication. There is no permanent damage, she has bruised ribs and she will have a hell of a headache tomorrow. There are no breaks and she doesn't have a concussion. You can take her home if you like, she will get a better night's sleep away from here," Doctor Roberts says.

"Thank you doctor, thank you."

Doctor Roberts nods and walks away.

"I'm going to get going Four. I will talk to you tomorrow," Zeke says.

"Thanks Zeke, see you tomorrow," I say.

Zeke walks out and I walk back into Tris' room. I walk into the room and see that Tris is awake and sitting up. Nurse Kate is giving her a packet with what I think is pain medication in it. "You can leave whenever you are ready Tris," Kate says.

"You can stay at my place tonight," I say to Tris. Kate smiles and leaves the room.

"Hi," I say.

"Hi."

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there Tris, this is all my fault. I should have known that this would happen, I."

"Tobias, you didn't attack me. How can you think that this is your fault?" Tris asks.

"But I knew that they would do this, I should have been there," I say.

"And you told me about it. So technically I should have been able to stop it too. But we couldn't, it doesn't matter, I'm fine. It didn't even happen like you said it would. Molly was there instead of Al. They took me from my bed. There are differences; I can see the guilt written all over your face. You can't do this to yourself every time something happens. I'm safe, I'm alive and I'm really tired; do you think we could get out of here?" Tris says.

"Definitely," I say.


	35. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER 35**

 **FOUR POV**

Tris and I walk into the cafeteria together. I don't really care who sees us together anymore. I just want to know she is safe. We separate and go to our friends tables. I go to sit with Zeke and Shauna. Tris has sat with Will and Christina. I see Uriah, Marlene and Lynn walk over and sit with them.

"How is she?" Zeke asks.

"She is okay Zeke. She's a bit sore and bruised this morning but she is so tough."

We have just finished eating; I keep looking over to make sure Tris is okay. Then I see Al go over to Tris. It looks like he has been crying. This can't be good; I start walking over to Tris.

"Tris I need to talk to you," Al says.

"What's wrong Al," Tris says. I am standing on the opposite side of the table from Al.

"I'm sorry Tris, I'm really sorry. I knew what they were planning. I heard them take you and I couldn't do anything. I'm really sorry," Al says.

I can't believe what I am hearing. I can't believe he would do this to Tris. I thought the fact that Molly had taken his place in the attack meant that he mustn't have been involved. How wrong could I have been?

Tris rises from her seat as Al speaks again, "Please, I am sorry. Please can you forgive me?"

Tris looks straight into Al's eyes and says, "Stay away from me, never come near me again."

She walks past Al and turns and says, "If you do, I swear to God, I will kill you. You coward."

I walk over to Tris and we walk out of the cafeteria together. Once we are out the door I stop her, "are you okay?"

She shakes her head, she has tears in her eyes. I wrap my arms around her. Christina, Will and the others come over to us. Christina rips her out of my arms, hugs her and says, "are you ok, Tris? Know we are all here for you."

"I'll be okay Christina, thanks."

They all go into a big group hug.

"We need something fun to do," I say. Everyone looks at me strangely.

"What?" I ask.

"Since when have you been fun, Four?" Lynn asks.

Everyone laughs and I can't really blame them, it's not like I come across as someone fun.

"Paintball?" Zeke says, with a big grin on his face.

"Yep, Zeke you and Shauna go get the paintball guns. Everyone meet me in the training room in thirty minutes."

Everyone disperses and I see Al walking out of the cafeteria. He is walking towards the chasm. I start to follow, I know what could happen here and I don't want to see him dead, although part of me thinks he deserves it. Coward.

Al is at the railing now and I am watching as he starts to climb over the railing. "don't do it Al," I say.

"I can't live with this Four. I'm not going to make it here in Dauntless. I could have stopped what happened to Tris and I didn't," Al says. He is crying, I hate when people cry, it agitates me.

"Don't do this to Tris, Al. You know she will feel guilty; she doesn't deserve to live with that. Stand up and take responsibility for your actions, that's the Dauntless way," I say.

"I'm not going to be Dauntless, we both know I'm not going to pass training," he says.

"You don't know that Al. Peter, Drew and Molly are out, which means you will move up the rankings. There is still stage three to go," I tell him. I know he is still going to fail but I can't let him know this. I don't want to see Tris have to live with guilt that isn't hers to live with.

"Come on Al, let's go and get you some help," I say as I hold out my hand to him. Willing him to take it.

Al gets down from the railing and I put my hand on his shoulder and lead him towards the infirmary. He needs help, help that I can't and don't want to give him. Just looking at him makes me sick. Everything about him makes me sick. But I don't wish him any harm either.

We have all been running around the Pit having our own paintball war for hours. Everyone is covered in paint, none of us are wearing black anymore, well we are but you couldn't tell from the amount of paint covering us. We are all sitting in the pit just laughing and joking. We had all run out of paint when Max comes over.

"Just the nine people that I have been looking for. I need to see you all in my office now," Max says.

Everyone looks at me, like I would know what is going on. I just shrug and we follow Max out of the pit and up to his office. We reach Max's office and we find Hana is already in the office along with Shauna and Marlene's parents'. She watches as we all walk into the office, you can see she is trying not to laugh at us. We must look a sight with our rainbow coloured clothes.

Max shuts the door and turns and asks Tris, "How are you Tris?"

"I'll be alright Max, thank you," she says.

"Good to hear. Peter, Drew and Molly have been sent to Candor for sentencing. They won't be back, we will not put up with that type of behaviour in Dauntless," Max says.

"Now, we have a small problem. I know that you are all in on the plan to help to stop this Erudite attack. That's not the problem. Six of you are not members yet. So I need to change that. I am invoking a special rule that we have here in Dauntless. We have never had to use this rule before and it is only to be used in special circumstances. I think this is the perfect time to use it," Max says.

"I thought your families would want to be here for this. Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Christina, Will and Tris, as the leader of Dauntless I am proud to announce that you are all now new members of Dauntless," Max says.

Everyone is silent for what seems like minutes, I'm sure it is only seconds. Then Lynn lets out a YEAH at the top of her voice. Everyone starts laughing and hugging and congratulating each other.

Max clears his throat and says, "I know with your current rankings that you were all going to pass initiation, so I need you to keep this quiet until we make the official announcement. I am proud of all of you and I want to say thank you for what you will be helping within the next couple of days."

"Party time," says Zeke.

"Not yet mister," says Hana. "We have too much work to be done before then, we can't have you all hung over."

Zeke hangs his head; he knows that he may be classed as an adult but Hana will skin him alive if he goes against her. Everyone is laughing at Zeke; we all know how much he respects his mum and is too scared to go against her wishes.

Tomorrow is the day. Zeke and I have got everything from the armoury and we have it stored at my place. We are having a meeting tonight to discuss battle plans. Give everyone their assignments. I have schematics for the warehouse spread over my dining table; I keep going over the plan making sure there won't be any surprises. Max was able to give me details of how many Erudite will be guarding the warehouse. Max refused to give Jeanine any of his own guards for this, he told her it would raise too many suspicions between the Dauntless, plus they are sure to gossip about it.

I hear a knock at my door. When I open the door I find that Tris and Amar are standing there with food. "We knew you would be here," Amar says. "Thought you might want some food, maybe distract you from what is about to go down. I'm sure you have been obsessing over it."

"Thanks, come on in," I say.

We eat the food and just sit and talk. It has been a great distraction, I definitely needed this.


	36. Chapter 36

**CHAPTER 36**

 **FOUR POV**

I wake early and go for my run with Eric. It is good to know that today will be his last day in Dauntless. Max is planning to arrest him and the other leaders as we carry out our plans. He has the Dauntless patrol teams on standby, ready to arrest the three leaders and the other twenty Dauntless members that we know are involved with Jeanine and Erudite. There is also three teams that will take down Jeanine and the other Erudite traitors in the Erudite compound.

I go down to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. The plan is taking place at lunch time. That way we know that most of Dauntless will be in the cafeteria and nowhere near the warehouse or surrounding buildings when we attack. This will be the best way to stop unnecessary injuries to innocent people.

I walk into the cafeteria and see Zeke, Shauna, Uriah and Tris all sitting together. Even though the rankings haven't come out yet it seems we have all decided to sit together, finally. Even though it's not known in Dauntless, Tris, Uriah and the others are officially Dauntless members now. I sit down next to Tris and give her a hug. I don't really care who knows we are together now; there is nothing that they can do about it.

"Hey four", Zeke says. "Big day today, you ready for it man?"

"Yeah I'm ready, you?"

"Yeah. I saw Gus earlier; he is excited that he is getting the day off from the control room. Kept rambling on about what a great guy Max is for giving him the time off. Then he gave me shit, saying I must off pissed Max off to be having to work," Zeke says.

Marlene, Lynn, Christina and Will have just joined us at our table. Everyone is quieter than usual. We are all eating with only a word spoken every now and then. Christina gets up and turns to Marlene and Shauna. "We need to start getting ready," she says.

"You have four hours before we need to meet Christina," Uriah says.

"If you want to use us as a distraction for the Erudite guards, then we need time. Come on ladies, first stop is the hairdresser, and then we are booked in to get our nails done," says Christina.

I can see the relief on Tris' face that she doesn't have to be involved in this. Marlene, Shauna and Christina all leave.

"Do you want to go to the training room and get some extra practice in?" Lynn asks to nobody in particular.

"Yeah," Tris and Uriah say at the same time.

"Zeke, Four do you want to come too?" Uriah asks.

"I'll meet you down there later, I have something I have to take care of first," I say.

"Why not," says Zeke. "I'm going to be stuck in the control room when everything goes down. May as well let off some steam now, I won't get the chance later."

I walk into the training room and I see Tris, Uriah, Will and Lynn throwing knives at the targets. They are laughing and trying to do trick shots. It is good to see them having some fun; I don't know how this is all going to play out today. I am so worried that something could happen to Tris or one of our friends. I hope I've planned this out well enough that everyone is safe. The Erudite guards that we will be attacking don't have the training that we give our members so I'm hoping they won't give us too much trouble.

I just sit and watch while they throw their knives. Tris comes over and gives me a hug. We don't have long now until we need to leave. It's nice to get these last few minutes with Tris, even if we aren't alone. Hopefully there will be more of this. Fear landscapes are tomorrow and the rankings will be announced. Then we can start our lives together.

"We better get going," I say.

Uriah puts the knives away and we all walk out together. We are walking down the hallway to my apartment when we see Eric. I hope he just ignores us. I don't have time for his crap today.

"Party at Four's is it?" Eric asks.

I ignore him but Amar has just caught up to us and he says, "Yep but only the cool kids have been invited Eric, so why don't you just move along." Eric has always hated Amar and he is also intimidated by him.

Eric just huffs and walks away. Everyone is laughing as we walk into my apartment. "We know who to call when we need Eric gone now," says Uriah.

"Hopefully no one will have to worry about that after today," I say.

Everyone gathers round on my couches while I go upstairs and get the weapons and explosives. Bud and Tori have arrived while I was upstairs. I put the bags on the coffee table and sit down. We are just waiting for Lauren, Christina, Marlene and Shauna now.

Just as I am thinking where are these girls. They all walk through my door. Christina, Marlene and Shauna have gone all out to make themselves look sexy. It is there job to distract and disarm the Erudite guards on one side of the building. There will be four guards for them to distract. I am sure they will get the job done easily. The Erudite guards won't know what has hit them when they see these three. I have no idea what you would call what they are wearing but it makes me blush. All three girls have skirts on that are so short you can see their underwear. There is a lot of flesh being shown and I didn't know but all three girls have belly button rings. I have no idea where they are going to hide their weapons and I'm too scared to ask.

I hand out the weapons to everyone and give Will, Uriah, Tris and Tori the explosives. I show them how to set the timers so that they will all be a safe distance from them when they go off. I give Amar and Bud the harnesses and ropes they will need to lower Tris and Tori down from the roof to set off their explosives. Tris and Tori have spent time practising what they need to do in the training room. It was decided that they would be the best for this job as they are the lightest and it will be easier for Bud and Amar to pull them up.

The warehouse is the furthest building at the end of the Dauntless compound, not many people come down here. So we shouldn't be interrupted. The warehouse is approximately 100ft by 60ft. There are two doors on either side of the longest sides of the warehouse. The doors are long enough that a small truck could drive through the space. There are two guards at each door way. That means we have eight guards that we need to disarm outside. Inside there are another eight guards that we need to disarm, they are protecting the serums and computer equipment that will be used for the attack. There is also an area in there that has been set up to house the extra guns that they would have been using in the attack. We need to try and get as many of the weapons out of the warehouse before we blow everything else up.

On the left side of the building the Erudite have parked their cars. Uriah and Will need to sneak over to the cars and plant explosives underneath them. We need the distraction so that Tris and Tori can scale down from the roof and plant the other explosives.

Shauna, Christina and Marlene have moved around to the right side of the building. The girls have started to talk to the first two guards. The guards are completely spellbound by the girls. While Marlene and Christina are disarming the two guards, Shauna has walked over to the two guards that are left.

As Shauna starts to talk to the guards you can see they are totally mesmerized by her. They haven't taken any notice to what has happened to the other two guards. Those guards have had their weapons taken and are now handcuffed. Christina has now walked over to Shauna and they take down the two guards that Shauna had been talking too.

They take the four guards away from the building. We don't want to kill anyone if we don't have too. So we need to get the guards away from the warehouse as we don't know just how big the impact from the explosives will be.

As the girls were disarming the guards on the right side, Uriah and Will have moved into place and they are planting the explosives under the Erudite cars. They have one minute to get themselves away from the cars. As they have been planting their explosives Tris, Tori, Amar and Bud have climbed onto the roof and are ready to start their descent.

Zeke and Hana are in the control room. Hana used to work in the control room so she is able to help Zeke watch what is going on. They are going to have to delete any footage of us as we can't afford to be caught. If anything goes wrong we will be in serious trouble. They are also in constant contact with Max, letting him know where he needs to go to arrest the traitors. Its lunchtime so we are hoping most people will be in the dining hall. It will make the arrest quicker and easier if they are all in the one place. Max is waiting for Zeke to give him the go ahead to storm the dining hall. Hopefully they won't put up a fight; otherwise we could have mass casualties in there.

Uriah and Will have just planted the explosives when they are spotted by one of the Erudite guards. I'm too far away to hear what they are saying but they need to get out of there and quickly. The explosives are set to go off in one minute. This is not good. Will goes to walk away and the Erudite guard has drawn his gun. Will and Uriah both pull their guns but they aren't quick enough. The Erudite guard has shot at Will. He falls down and Uriah shoots the guard in the head.

Uriah tries to pick up Will but he is too heavy. This is frustrating to watch. I want to run over to them and help but I'm too far away I wouldn't make it in time and there are three guards between myself and Will. Uriah starts to drag Will. But with the shooting of the guard the other three guards have started to walk towards Uriah with their weapons drawn. One has yelled at the boys. "Stop or we will shoot you," the guard says.

Uriah knows he needs to get out of there as quickly as possible, the explosives should be going off at any second. Lauren, Lynn and I have had to hide behind the building. Then we hear the blasts the cars have exploded and pieces have flown about fifty feet in the air and all around and into the warehouse. I stick my head around the corner to see the damage. '

The three guards have all been killed. They have pieces of the cars littering their bodies. I can't see Uriah but Will is still on the ground. Where can Uriah be? He must have been thrown by the explosion. I need to find him but I also need to disarm the guards that are inside the warehouse.

I turn to Lynn and say, "I need you to see if Will is still alive and find Uriah." Lynn just nods and we walk out from where we had been hiding. Ready to take on the other Erudite guards.


	37. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER 37**

 **FOUR POV**

I walk around the corner of the building and it is chaos. There are parts of the cars everywhere. The two cars they blew up are on fire. The guards that were in the warehouse have moved from their posts. Exactly what we wanted to happen. I am in the first doorway now; I can see the simulation serum and the computers.

I look up and I can see Tris and Tori descending from the roof. I'm relieved that I'm not up there. I wanted to be the one who was helping Tris but I couldn't because of my fear of heights. I couldn't have lived with myself if my fear had jeopardised the mission. I didn't want to put Tris in anymore danger than she already is. I trust Amar with my life, so I know he will keep Tris safe.

 **MAX POV**

I am standing at the entrance to the dining hall. Zeke has just told me that fifteen of the people we want to arrest are in there. Fours' plan has been faultless for me so far. I couldn't be prouder of him; he has been a great leader and friend. I have thirty guards with me ready to arrest the fifteen. I have Zeke and Hana searching for the last five.

I have already arrested our three traitor leaders. That was easy, idiots, they were in Eric's office with the plans of their attack on Abnegation on the desk. Discussing the plan in plain sight, arrogant bastards. I have had them taken to Candor. Jack Kang is going to interrogate them for me. I will need to get over there after we have cleaned up the rest of the traitors.

I need to get this done before the first explosion. Once the cars blow up there will be panic. We walk into the dining hall and the guards each know who they need to arrest. I stand in the door way while the guards search out the traitors. Once I see they are all in place I give the signal and they arrest the fifteen. The dining hall is packed and everyone is looking at me, I can see the questions in their eyes.

Once the guards have the traitors in hand I speak to the others in the hall. "There is nothing to be worried about. You can go back to eating. We have had a small problem with some traitors who have been planning an attack with Erudite on Abnegation. We are in the process of apprehending these traitors. It will all be over soon. It would be safer if you stay in here, I will tell you when it is safe to leave," I say.

As we are leaving the dining hall there is a loud explosion and the whole building feels like it is moving. People start to panic and start to run towards the door. "STOP!" I yell. "Stay calm, stay in here until you are told it is safe. There are going to be more explosions, don't be alarmed. Everything will be explained but for now I need you to stay here."

The Dauntless start to move back to their seats. I call for more guards and when they arrive I station them at the doors to the dining hall. "Keep these people in here, don't let them leave. I will let you know when it is safe. I need to get to the control room and see if I can find the rest of the traitors."

 **ZEKE POV**

"Mum, can you see Uriah? I can't see him on any of the monitors," I say. Panic has set in. I am freaking out.

Uriah took the full blast of the explosion and was blown out of range of any of the cameras. I can see Will; he is lying on the ground. I can't tell if he is alive or not. Four and Lauren have moved into the warehouse. Lynn has walked over to Will and she looks like she is searching for Uriah. Please find him Lynn I think to myself. Please be safe Uriah, please be safe. I feel sick, I feel so trapped and helpless in here. I want to run out the door and down to the warehouse.

"Zeke, you have a job to do. I know you want to go to Uri but we need to get this job done. I have sent medics to the warehouse. He is going to be okay Zeke. Just focus on what you have to do," mum says. It amazes me how she can know exactly what I'm thinking. No wonder I always got caught when I was doing something wrong.

Max walks into the control room. "How is it all going?" he asks.

"Will has been shot. Uriah was hit by the bomb blast and we can't see him. The girls have disarmed the four guards on the right side of the building. The guards on the left side look like they have been killed by the car bombs. Four and Lauren have just moved inside the warehouse to disarm the guards that are inside. The girls have all moved inside the building as well. We don't have any cameras in the warehouse so I can't see what is going on," I say.

"I hope Uriah is okay. Is Will alive?" Max says. I shrug and shake my head, "we don't know, mum has sent medics down there," I say.

"How is the search for the other five traitors?"

"We have sent guards to three of the traitor's homes. They should be arrested in the next few minutes. The other two remain elusive," mum says.

"Okay, let me know how you get along, I'm going over to the warehouse then I will need to go Candor." Max says. I just nod and keep looking to see if I can see Uriah.

 **FOUR POV**

Lauren and I walk into the warehouse. Shaun, Christina and Marlene have apprehended three of the guards. I look to the roof and can see Tris and Tori they have reached the serum and computers. I can see them putting the explosives in place. This means we have ten minutes to get out of here.

There are two guards in front of Lauren and me with the guns drawn. "Put your guns down or we will shoot you," I say. One guard puts his weapon down but the other doesn't. Lauren shoots him in the head. I move the gun out of reach of the guard who has surrendered and handcuffed him. I look and see that there are three guards left.

Shauna has disarmed another guard. Two guards to go. Eight minutes until the bombs go off. The two guards left have turned and started to shoot at us. Tori and Tris are half way up when one of the guards starts shooting at them. One of them has been hit; I heard the cry and saw the blood. I don't know who is it, I take aim and shoot the shooter dead. Lauren has shot the other guard but he is still alive.

I walk outside to see what has happened with Will and Uriah. I can't get to Tris and Tori until Amar and Bud get them off the roof. I feel sick but I know we have to get out of here as quickly as possible. I see medics working on Will; it looks like he is still alive, thank goodness.

I walk further on to see medics' working on a body; Lynn is standing watching with tears in her eyes. Uriah. Another bomb blast, how can it happen twice in different places, is it just his time, God I hope not. The medics get up and they have Uriah on a stretcher, they start running towards the infirmary.

Everyone else outside is dead, I look at my watch, I have about two minutes to get to our meeting point. I need to know that Tris is okay. I start to run knowing I don't have much time before the explosions. The guard Lauren shot is still alive and is lying on the ground. I pick him up and tell him to run. The other guards have all been taken by the others in our group.

I round the corner and find my friends standing there with the guards that are alive. I look over and I see a medic tending to Tori. Then I see her. Tris is alive, Tris hasn't been hurt. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her. Having her this close and uninjured I feel my body start to relax a little. We are standing there not saying anything, just standing when the explosions start.

I have never heard anything this loud in all my life. The ground we are standing on is shaking, we are three blocks from the explosion, we can hear the building blowing up and can hear its pieces tearing through the buildings around us.

Tori has been shot in the shoulder and needs to go to the infirmary, they think she will need surgery to remove the bullet. She can walk, she said she doesn't want to lie on a stretcher, she thinks it will quicker to just walk. We all start walking towards the infirmary with Tori.

No one is speaking; I know I don't want to say anything. I have too many thoughts going on in mind. Uriah is my main thought, what if he is dead or going to die? I was the one who gave him his assignment, is it my fault again that Uriah is in danger. Tris grabs my hand and looks up at me. I know she knows what I'm thinking. She whispers, "it's not your fault, stop blaming yourself."

I give her a small smile and I squeeze her hand. I am so grateful that she is here holding my hand; she is giving me strength to keep walking

We get to the infirmary and Tori is taken away. We walk into the waiting room and Zeke and Hana are sitting in the chairs. "How is he?" I ask.

"We don't know, they haven't told us anything yet," Zeke says. You can hear the frustration in his voice. We have been sitting there for about two hours when Max walks into the room.

"Everyone has been captured from Dauntless. We didn't have as much luck at Erudite. They were able to arrest approximately thirty people but Jeanine has gotten away. I have four of our guards in the control room searching the footage to see if we can see her anywhere," Max says.

"How are Uriah and Will?" Max asks.

Zeke is about to answer when a doctor walks into the room.


	38. Chapter 38

**CHAPTER 38**

 **HANA POV**

I have been sitting at Uriah's bedside for three days. I have never been so worried in all my life. I know my boys are reckless and we are in Dauntless, they are in danger every day. But I had never worried before; I knew they could take care of themselves.

Zeke has only left the room to get a shower and to bring me some food. Uriah's friends have been in and out of here the time goes quicker with all the kids coming and going.

Tori and Will are both being released from here today. They have been spending a lot of time in this room; I'll miss not having them around all the time. The nurses have been getting really annoyed with us, they don't say anything, they wouldn't dare. With Max and Four coming to visit the nurses need to be on their best behaviour for our leaders.

I also think they are all trying to get Fours' attention. It is amusing to watch. Every time he walks into the infirmary they all start to flutter their eyes and swoon. He has no idea the effect he has on them. I think once he and Tris announce their involvement after initiation is finished there will be a lot of heart broken women throughout the Dauntless compound. It is beautiful to watch when they are together. Four has always kept his distance from so many people. But when Tris walks in the room he changes. There is a warmth that comes across him. His eyes light up, you can see his hold body relax.

The doctors have had Uriah in an induced coma. They have decided that they are going to take him off the medication today. They think that if he is going to wake up it will still be a day or two before it will happen. Erudite have produced some sort of medication that helps with the healing process. So the injuries he has sustained are mending quicker than they usually would. Uriah has a broken arm, a dislocated knee, three broken ribs and until this morning he had swelling on his brain. They sent him for scans this morning. The swelling has subsided in his brain, which is the best news. The knee is almost healed, they think it should only be another day or two. The broken bones which would normally take six weeks to mend should be repaired within the week. It's a miracle what the medicine is able to do. I'm sure this medication will be very popular here in Dauntless.

Zeke has just walked into the room with breakfast for both of us. "Mum, you need to go and have a shower, you don't want Uriah to wake up and see you looking like you do," Zeke says.

"Thanks Zeke. Are you saying I smell?" I ask with a smile. I know I smell, I just want to see how diplomatic Zeke can be with his mum. This should be funny.

"Mum you haven't had a shower in days. I think you will feel better if you freshen yourself up," Zeke says.

"As soon as I have breakfast I will go and have a shower. If you stay here I think I will have a bit of a lie down. This chair is getting rather uncomfortable," I say.

"I think you are going to have that chair imprinted onto your butt for a while mum," says Zeke.

I just laugh. I finish my breakfast and go back to my apartment for my much needed shower.

 **FOUR POV**

I hate having to go and visit Uriah; it makes me feel so guilty. I know it's not my fault and that no one blames me for what has happened. But it brings my nightmare back. The only reason I have had any sleep is because Tris has made me. At least when she is there I don't have nightmares. Not that I have had much time for sleep.

Jeanine is still missing, no one has seen her. Erudite have gone into lock down and aren't letting any non members in. This is a concern, they still could be planning some sort of attack. With the technology that they have anything is possible. We were able to blow up every vial of simulation serum. So we know for now that Erudite can't manipulate the masses.

Abnegation have gone back to living in their homes. Natalie was able to get all of the Abnegation out before we attacked the serum. Natalie told me it was a good practice run in case there are problems in the future. I know that we have changed the future, or the future I saw anyway. It can all get confusing when I think about it.

Will is alive, Andrew and Natalie are both safe. All the Abnegation are alive. At this stage in my life these people had already died in my nightmare. Will there be consequences for what we have done? Or is this how it should have been? I could get lost in these thoughts forever but Tris won't let me. She keeps telling me that we have to live each day, enjoy each day. Yes we have changed what may or may not have happened. What I dreamt wasn't real it was a dream. She thinks I will die from a heart attack if I don't stop worrying about what may happen.

Max and I had to spend a day at Candor while they processed all the traitors. We have put stage three of training on hold until Will and Uriah are out of hospital. Tori and Harrison have agreed to become leaders. We just need one more leader to have the odd number that we have always had. I'm hoping Tris will agree to become a leader. Max agrees that she would be the best candidate. If not Tris it would probably be offered to Uriah. We all know he is going to come in second, if he wakes up.

Our three traitorous leaders have been sentenced to death. We are just waiting until Tori gets out of hospital to carry out the executions. I want them over with before we announce the fifth leader. I wouldn't want to see Tris or Uriah have to execute anyone as their first act as leader.

I walk into the hospital and I find Zeke and Shauna making out on the bed next to Uriah. "You do realised he can probably hear you while he is in the coma?" I ask.

No I don't think they thought of that, both look a little guilty as they get off the bed. I start to laugh, "I don't think Uriah is going to want to wake up to you two making out, he will probably be so disturbed he will stay asleep for another week."

"Don't joke about that Four. I didn't think that he could hear us. Shit, mum will kill me. I hope he didn't hear us," Zeke says.

Shauna and I are both laughing now. The Pedrad boys have always been scared of their mum. This is the first day I have laughed since the attack. It is nice to be able to laugh again. We are still laughing when Tris and Christina walk into the room. Tris walks over and hugs me; she has a paper bag in her hand. "What do you have there?" I ask

Tris opens the bag to reveal a large piece of Dauntless cake. "If anything is going to wake Uri up it will be this," she says. She places the cake on the table that stands across his bed and we all just sit there waiting.

"They still think it will be a day or two before he wakes," says Zeke.

"I know but I wanted the cake too be the first thing that he gets to see," Tris says.

We all just nod, knowing how much Uriah loves his cake. There is still the chance he won't wake up but no one wants to think about that right now.

* * *

It has been five days since we stopped Erudite; it has been two days since Uriah was taken off the meds that kept him in the coma. He hasn't woken up yet and we have had to make a decision about the initiates. Not that it matters too much. Tris has been staying with me. I gave Will and Christina the keys to Eric's place. Marlene and Lynn have been hanging out in there. I told them if they are all going to hang there then they should clean the place out. One of the new leaders will be given the apartment once we have worked out what is going on. May as well give them something to do while we wait for stage three to begin.

When you walk into Eric's apartment it is spotless. But once they started going through his things, well that was a different story. I could hear the laughter coming from the girls as I walked down the hall. Tris and I both looked at each other, curiosity was sparked and we knocked on the door. When the door opened I don't know who was more embarrassed, Tris or I. There is a large chest in the middle of the lounge room and it is open. Christina has a whip around her neck and leather underwear on her head, Lynn has handcuffs in her hand that are covered in fluffy pink material and a leather mask on her face. Marlene is rolling on the floor laughing and Will is sitting on the lounge trying not to laugh; he is still recovering from his gunshot wound to his shoulder.

I look at Tris and she is bright red, she looks how I feel. I pull her out into the hallway and lead us into my apartment. The Abnegation is definitely coming out in both of us in this situation. I don't really know what to say when we get into the apartment. Then Tris starts to laugh. Not just a giggle but a big belly laugh. What we just saw was really funny even if it did shock both of us. I can't help but laugh with her.

We sit on the lounge and wait until our laughter dies down. I still don't really know how to talk to Tris about this. We haven't talked about anything intimate. We have kissed and fooled around a bit but I'm still acutely aware that she may or may not have her seventh fear. I don't know if it is going to be a fear this time around. I hope it's not, but I just don't know.

"Tris would you move in with me when initiation is over?" I ask. Please say yes, please, please I am begging with my eyes. I am such a sap in front of Tris. Only in front of Tris.

"I thought I already had," she say with a smile on her face.

"I suppose you have. So is that a yes?"

"Yes."

"Come on I haven't shown you upstairs," I say. I pull Tris off the lounge and we walk up the stairs hand in hand. "This place is way too big for one person, so I've never bothered using upstairs. Now that you are going to be here we should start making the whole apartment our home."

Tris gives me a smile and hugs me. For the first time ever I feel like I have a future, that we have a future. I don't feel like I am trying to change the past. I have started to live an unknown future and the possibilities are endless. There has always been this negative cloud hanging over me, ever since, well before my mother faked her death. It now feels as though when we blew up the Erudite plans it blew the negative cloud away. And now with Tris standing next to me it feels like I can finally let the sunshine in.

"I like that idea," Tris says. "Our home." I smile hugging Tris. I give her a quick kiss.

"Come on," I say. "We should really go and see how Uriah is."


	39. Chapter 39

**CHAPTER 39**

 **FOUR POV**

I have just come from a meeting in Max's office. I walk into the dining hall and find Tris, Shauna and the rest of our friends sitting at a table. They are all laughing; Lynn is telling Shauna about what they had found in Eric's apartment, she hasn't left out the part about Tris and I walking in on them and how embarrassed we looked. I sit down and Tris can see that my mood is sombre.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"Eric and the other leaders are being brought back here to be executed this afternoon," I say.

"What is the process?" Will asks.

I am just about to answer when the doors of the dining hall burst open and Zeke comes running over to us. "He's awake. Uriah is awake," Zeke shouts.

Not only do we all cheer but the whole of the dining hall breaks out in cheers. I let out a sigh; I feel some of the stress I have been feeling over the last few days start to leave my body. Tris must notice it too; she gives my hand a squeeze and gives me a small smile. She knows how devastated I have felt over Uriah being in the hospital. It is so reassuring to have her support.

"Can we go and see him?" asks Marlene.

"Yeah, I promised him I'd get him some cake. Can you believe it the first thing he asks for when he wakes up is for some cake, seriously only Uri would ask for that," says Zeke.

"Didn't I leave him some cake for when he woke up?" Tris asks.

"Um, well I, I sort of ate it," says Zeke. We all burst out laughing at him.

* * *

I have asked all the initiates, transfers and Dauntless born to meet me in the transfer's dormitory. When I walk in I see Tris sitting with Myra and it looks like Myra has been crying. I wonder what's up with that. I will have to ask Tris about it later.

"Initiates, stage three of training will start in two days time. Tomorrow you will be going through Laurens' fear landscape so that you can have an understanding of what will happen when you go through yours the day after," I say. "Uriah has been given exemption on the account that he almost got blown up a few days ago and is still in the hospital. It will be his choice to whether he decides to do stage three or not. It will not affect his ranking. If anyone has an issue with this you are free to come and talk to either Max or myself about it." I have my Four mask on as I say this. I don't want any backlash from the other initiates. I'm hoping now that Peter and friends are gone we won't have any more trouble.

I am pretty sure that Uriah will want to do stage three. But I also wanted him to have the choice; he is still in the hospital and will be there for at least another three days. At least if he does go through his fear landscape he can then go back to his hospital bed and they can monitor him.

I walk out of the dormitory and I am on my way back up to my office when Tris calls out to me, "Four."

I stop and turn and wait for Tris to catch up to me.

"I need to talk to you in private," she says.

"We can go up to my office." What is she going to say? It sounds serious. Stupid thoughts start running through my head. Does she want to break up with me? Has she decided she doesn't want to move in with me?

We walk into my office and I motion for her to sit. "What's up Tris?" I ask trying to sound calm and casual.

"It's Myra," she says. Thank goodness I think.

"Myra is pregnant. It's Edwards's baby. She knows she isn't going to make it into Dauntless and she is worried. She knows she won't have to become factionless but she also knows that Edward is planning to stay no matter what."

"Cold hearted bastard," says a voice from the doorway. We turn to see Max standing in the doorway. "Leave this with us Tris, we will need to see what we can do to help her," Max says. "Four we need to get ready for the executions, the prisoners will be here soon."

I nod to Max and walk around the table and Tris stands and I give her a hug. "I think you should go back to our place, I don't want you to have to watch the executions," I say.

"Tobias I want to be there for you. I want to see the people that were going to help murder my parents and make my friends into mindless murderers get their punishment. I understand it isn't going to be pretty but you may have to pull the trigger and I want you to be able to look into the crowd and know I am there for you," she says.

"Thank you," I say. As much as I don't want her to witness what is going to happen, it is going to make it bearable if she is there for me if I am in fact the one who has to pull the trigger.

* * *

I am standing on the makeshift platform in the pit with Tori, Harrison and Max. Harrison and Max have already executed two of the Dauntless traitor leaders. There is only Eric left. He is kneeling on the platform with his hands cuffed behind his back. Tori, Harrison and Max have all taken a shot with no bullet in the chamber of any of their guns. This means that it is I that is going to be the one to execute Eric.

I am not getting any satisfaction with knowledge that it will be me who will end his life. I really thought I would be satisfied that I would be the one that pulled the trigger that ended his life. But no I realise there is no satisfaction in ending a life, no matter how evil they may be. I know that I will be glad that he is dead. I also know that he would get great pleasure out of it if our roles were reversed. Thankfully it's not.

"Any last words Eric?" I ask.

"I'm glad it's you Four. I hope the guilt eats you up inside," he says with a smile on his face.

"It won't," I reply. I may not like being the one that executes him but I'm not going to feel guilty about it. As I put the gun to his head I look him in the eyes and say, "be brave, Eric." I pull the trigger not once looking away as I do it.

I drop the gun; I walk off the stage and into Tris' arms. We are standing there together when Max walks up to us and says to Tris, "Tris we need to talk about your future here in Dauntless, there is a Leadership position that is now open and if you rank first after your final test I would hope that you would seriously consider this position.

"Thank you for considering me Max, I will think about it and we can talk after the rankings have come out". Max nods and walks off. I start to chuckle and Tris look up at me with a look to say what is so funny.

"I had the exact same conversation with Max before stage three of my initiation. The exact same words that he and I said. You and he just said," I say.

"Oh," says Tris. "Do you think I should become a leader?"

"I think it is up to you. If you want too, then I would support your decision. I think you would make a great leader. But it depends on what you want to do," I say.

"I think I need to think about it. It's a big decision. But it would mean I can help to make Dauntless into what it should be, back to how it was, when the Manifesto meant something."

"It would be good to have another person who believes in those things leading the way," I say.

* * *

Uriah decided he wanted to go through his fear landscape. He brought a doctor and a nurse with him for the test. Well he didn't really have a choice, the only way they would let him do it was to have the doctor and the nurse on standby.

I wasn't in the room with the other leaders for the fear landscapes. Max told me it would be better if I wasn't on the panel. Keep me impartial to any decisions they make, especially with me dating Tris and that a third of the initiates are now close friends of mine.

As the fear landscapes are happening Al's parents have arrived to take him home. Max and I had a meeting with his doctors a few days ago and it was decided that the best place for Al was back with his parents. They say that he is in a deep depression and that he has suicidal tendencies. They believe that Dauntless is not a safe place for Al. Dauntless is the easiest faction to commit suicide in. Between the guns, knives and the chasm they think he would be safer with his parents. He wasn't going to pass anyway and with the new rules in place he can always change to a new faction next year.

I don't think Al would be comfortable staying in Candor with their truth serum. But that will be a decision that Al will need to make later on, if he is able too. He would be much more suited to Abnegation or Amity. Probably Amity would be best for him; the peace serum would probably do him good. But I'm not a doctor so I will happily leave that up to them. The doctors think it is only a matter of time before he attempts suicide again, which is sad, but I'm also relieved that he won't be around Tris if he does. We have banned him from Dauntless for life, it may seem harsh but it is for his own safety no other reason.


	40. Chapter 40

**CHAPTER 40**

 **FOUR POV**

Tris and I are lying on our bed we have a couple of hours before the banquet and the rankings are announced.

"You only have six fears Tris. That's pretty impressive," I say.

"Not as impressive as Four, but I'm happy with it," says Tris.

"I think that is the second lowest ever so you should be happy," I say.

"Amazing that the only two that have transferred from Abnegation in the last decade have the least amount of fears in Dauntless," she says.

"Have you thought more about becoming a leader?" I ask.

"I have, I think I would like to do it or maybe an ambassador to the other factions. I know I have to make my mind up by tomorrow. I know Will would really like to be a leader in training so maybe he should get the leadership job," she says.

"You need to do what is right for you Tris. You're going to rank first, I'm sure of it and so you need to pick what you want. Don't give up what you want for someone else. You're allowed to be selfish. "What about helping me train initiates? Would you be up for that too?"

"Tobias that is one job I don't think I want. The only benefit would be that I get to hang out with you all day. I don't think I would like to have to watch others go through their fears or see people cut at the end of initiation. I would hate if I had put in all that effort and then I'm told I didn't make it. Plus if I become a leader I can always come and visit you during training." she says.

"I s'pose," I say. I have sadness in my voice. I think the initiates would benefit from having someone like Tris to train them. She doesn't look typical Dauntless and with her small frame it shows that you don't have to be the biggest or the strongest to rank high. Plus I want her to do it for my own selfish reasons.

"If no one else wants to train initiates with you then I will agree to do it. But if someone really wants the job then I will happily let them. I know that Christina was thinking about training initiates. Plus I don't have to make any decision until tomorrow. I might see a different job on the list of available jobs and do something completely different."

"Fair enough, I have to hand out the list of available jobs to all initiates after rankings are announced so you can check it out tonight."

* * *

I am standing on one of the tables in the dining hall with our other three leaders. Max has a microphone in his hand and is about to address the initiates and other extremely drunk members of Dauntless. I can see the anxiety on the initiates faces as they wait for their rankings to be announced.

"Okay Dauntless quiet down, quiet down. This year we are welcoming our newest members with pride. We are starting a new era here in Dauntless and I know that some of our initiates were instrumental in helping to keep Dauntless the way it should be. Without the bravery shown not only by these initiates but by other members of Dauntless we are able to stay true to our faction," Max says.

The room erupts with pounding of fists on tabletops and stomping of feet on the ground. There are hoots and hollers throughout the crowded room.

"We believe that cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices. We believe that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace. But more than that: We believe that justice is more important than peace. We believe in freedom from fear, in denying the fear the power to influence our decisions. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. We believe in acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us. We believe in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity. We believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves. We believe not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them. We believe that pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction, because we believe in action."

The room is filled with more pounding fists and stomping feet. I can't believe that Max has quoted the Dauntless manifesto. I am finally starting to feel that Dauntless is heading in the right direction. With our new leadership team and having been able to weed out the traitors we had within our faction it feels like we can get back to what Dauntless once was. That we can become a team, a family. People who are proud of who they are and what they believe in. We are one within our faction.

"Okay, settle down. If you look at the screen behind me you will see our newest members," Max says. As we all turn to the screen the initiate's names are displayed.

Tris

Uriah

Lynn

Marlene

Edward

Will

Christina

Gabbie

Natasha

Jed

Myra

Although Myra failed Max decided that because she is carrying a new member's child that she would have to be allowed to stay. He wasn't going to let anyone who out ranked her lose their spot so he decided to add an extra spot this year. Max may come across as rough but he really does have a big heart.

The room has erupted once again, the noise is deafening. I can see the initiates hugging and congratulating each other. I push my way through the crowd towards Tris. Now we can go public. Now if I can just get to her I can wrap her in my arms and kiss her. I am not enjoying being around all these people and I am sure that Tris is probably finding it uncomfortable with all the people who are hugging or touching her in congratulations. The sooner we can get out of this room the better. At least when the banquet starts people will be seated.

I finally reach Tris and tap her on the shoulder. She spins around and sees that is me and she jumps up and wraps her legs around my waist. "Congratulations," I say and then I kiss her. Not just any kiss, I put as much passion and desire into the kiss as I can. I want everyone to know that Tris is my girl. We break away both breathless.

"Damn Tris are you sure you came from Abnegation?" Zeke says as he pats me on the back.

Tris is blushing now but we are both smiling. Happy that we have been able to finally make it known to everyone that we are a couple.

* * *

The banquet has started and I'm sitting with Tris and our friends. Everyone is laughing and joking and having such a good time. It feels like it is the first time in my life that I can just relax. While I don't know what the future holds for any of us. I do know that tomorrow morning I will get to wake up with Tris next to me and we will be able to start our life here in Dauntless.

Jeanine still hasn't been found. Evelyn could still cause trouble not only for me but for the factions in general. Marcus isn't a threat to me anymore. I have no idea what Andrew and Natalie have decided to do about the Edith Prior video, but while the faction system is working I don't think it is worth showing the video or going beyond the fence.

So for today I have decided that I need to enjoy what I have. To not over think what could happen. I don't have a guide book for the future like I have had for the last two years. While it has been great to be able to have insight in what could have happened, knowing that I may have had a hand in changing our futures, it was also a burden to have to carry the knowledge I had. Even with that knowledge there were certain situations I couldn't change, no matter how hard I tried. Now I have no idea what could happen, but I do know that I have been blessed with the people I have around me.

These people sitting at our table, Tris, Zeke, Shauna, Amar, Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Christina and Will they aren't just my friends they are my family. And I couldn't have asked for a better family.

* * *

 _ **Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or made this one of their favourites.**_

 _ **A special shout out to Aubrey Cortez and Windchimed. Your comments and reviews have been invaluable.**_

 _ **Yes I have left room for a sequel. Sorry but I have another story idea floating around in my head that I need to try and write before I attempt to go further with any ideas for a sequel to this.**_

 _ **I came to this site looking for an alternate ending to Allegiant. I never had any intention of writing. It never even crossed my mind.**_

 _ **I was out for lunch at a cafe with my best friend Kylie and I was telling her how much I loved this site and was my usual over enthusiastic self when she suggested I should write something. I brushed her off thinking it was a ridiculous idea. Anyway a few nights later I wake in the early hours of the morning with the idea for this story.**_

 _ **I sent her a text the next morning that started with DAMN YOU KYLIE! I knew that I now needed to get the story out of my head and that is how this all begun. So if you have enjoyed the story it really is a big thank you to Kylie. If you don't then it is probably a damn you Kylie!**_

 _ **To everyone who is visiting this site, you never know unless you try. So pick up your pens or start typing on that keyboard because you never know what can happen. This has been such a positive and rewarding experience for me. If people like your story then great, but if they don't, does it really matter? Do it for yourself, enjoy the journey and have fun. I certainly have.**_

 _ **So once again thank you.**_

 _ **Before I go I really need to mention the wonderful people who have taken the time to review my story. So here goes: BeatriceEaton46, Soccerpup17, Crazzy GRL, hplcgirl, 4Gracedivergent, .fangirl, badass4ever, Deborahhh, Rebbie444, leek812, enj412, Shizu Uchiha, Castro05, BooksLover2000, LiveLaughLacey, cm103350, Eunice339, featherdusterpixie, Universe-is-a-Mystery, caslynskater, Redlady1952, karina cruz. If I have left anyone out, I'm sorry. To all the guests who have left a review thank you.**_


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